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Overwhelming pain heart

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Gulfport, Mississippi, Oakland, California, Denmark
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@sonyas_view Sonya, You’re my 2nd mom and I was your adopted “3rd son”. Your family is my family... ...
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@sonyas_view Sonya, You’re my 2nd mom and I was your adopted “3rd son”. Your family is my family... and none of us know how to say goodbye to you. That’s probably why I’m writing to you as if you’re still here, and by spending time with those who loved you, you still are. Thank you for your loving ... @sonyas_view Sonya, You’re my 2nd mom and I was your adopted “3rd son”. Your family is my family... and none of us know how to say goodbye to you. That’s probably why I’m writing to you as if you’re still here, and by spending time with those who loved you, you still are.
Thank you for your loving spirit, your drive for righteousness, your humble and sometimes tough honesty, your warm hospitality, but most of all, your time.
You weren’t perfect, but you never tapped out of the fine fight for life. You left us with your love and zeal for Jehovah strong, a great Witness and example of His loving spirit.
Thank you for opening your home and family to me. You made a difference in my life, sadly more than I’ll be able to tell you in this system.
You’d be so proud of your family right now. Everyone is weak and reeling with the pain of your sudden loss, but it makes their strength even more evident. And the congregation is surrounding them with love, support, and encouragement that strengthens them even more everyday. Jehovah is taking good care of your loved ones and helping everyone navigate through this painful maze.
I don’t know when this overwhelming pain will go away, but for now I’m grateful for it. Evidence of your impact on my life and a heart well loved by you. Even Jesus wept for the loss of his good friend Lazarus (John 11:33-36). Like so many others, we long for the day when you hear the words “come out” and we will see you again in paradise. John 11:38-44
To my adopted 2nd mom, who made me a part of the family, thank you, I miss you, I love you, I’ll see you when I win this fight. 💔 To @davedelima_23 @paradise_comming @tspanthony @jlyndseyd @DarylDelima @galmo22 @brittgalmo_25 the selfish part of me thanks you with all my heart for your love and allowing me to grieve with you, the selfless part of me wishes I was stronger for you. I’ll get there, but with Jehovahs strength @wife.mommy.nurse and I are here for ANYTHING you need. And Eden will ALWAYS provide the much needed laughter to soothe our pain. I love you guys. 📸 of a typical happy picture of Sonya and her loving grandson Cody. Jehovahs memory of Sonya will never dim, or fade. 🙏🏼
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A year ago today, my dad was diagnosed with colorectal cancer while I was on one-week vacation in ...
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A year ago today, my dad was diagnosed with colorectal cancer while I was on one-week vacation in Bali. It was the most devastating feeling I’ve experienced — being away from your family and dealing with a news you least expected to hear. Unbeknownst to many, It was the same day half a decade ... A year ago today, my dad was diagnosed with colorectal cancer while I was on one-week vacation in Bali. It was the most devastating feeling I’ve experienced — being away from your family and dealing with a news you least expected to hear. Unbeknownst to many, It was the same day half a decade ago that someone I knew was even more painful for me to bear and to remember.
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Memorable day? Hmm, I don’t know but I consider this as a “stone (or my day) of remembrance” from the Lord. I’m beyond thankful how He is mindful in the toughest times. When I can’t put prayer into words, He hears my heart. I don’t know how He’s able to put that smile on my face despite of every pain and hurt and how he sustained me through every sleepless days and crying nights. All I know is He’s holding my heart through it all.
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Thank you for giving me beauty from ashes. Thank you for making me new all over again. Thank you for doing of these not because of what I did but because of who You are. Thank you for your overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love, Jesus. ❤️
#AllByHisGrace
#GraceChangesEverything
#PerfectGrace
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Christmas is a beautiful time filled with laughter, love, celebration, and beautiful memories. ...
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Christmas is a beautiful time filled with laughter, love, celebration, and beautiful memories. Christmas can also be a time where laughter, love, celebration and memories may not be as present as they used to be. The laughter may not be heard as often, the love may not feel as strong, the celebration ... Christmas is a beautiful time filled with laughter, love, celebration, and beautiful memories. Christmas can also be a time where laughter, love, celebration and memories may not be as present as they used to be. The laughter may not be heard as often, the love may not feel as strong, the celebration may feel as though there isn’t much worth celebrating anymore, and the fond memories that once were are just memories that hurt more than anything, reminding us of the things once were that will never be the same again. For some, the idea of “family” does not fit the norm, and Christmas is a time where that reminder is everywhere. For others, family was always so important during this time, and loosing someone so dear and special has made it difficult to even desire to laugh, or reminisce of the fond memories because those memories only hurt. This is a time where it brings up past hurts, losses, and unexplainable and unimaginable pain. Whatever the case may be, whether this season is a time of warmth, or a time of sorrow, may this always be a season of hope to get you to where your heart desires to be, a season of peace that will surround yourself with an overwhelming sense of contentment, and a season of faith to get you there. ///////// Here I took a picture of my sweet Isabella the night before we had to say goodbye to her. As she stood above the stairs looking down on me, I was reminded that my days with her were no longer and the little clicks of her nails walking through the house wouldn’t exist for much longer. As I type this now, I can’t help but shed tears upon the loss of my sweet friend I thought I would have during this time I so much enjoy. It is my comfort however, that hope, peace, and faith will still keep me strong. #christmas #youareloved #faith #hope #peace
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The sky seemed symbolic of what I was presently feeling. Though the moon was hidden behind the clouds, ...
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The sky seemed symbolic of what I was presently feeling. Though the moon was hidden behind the clouds, and I could not directly touch it or even see it, its light was so prominent and powerful that there was no denying its radiant beauty existed. It was there, for all to see, just like she was here ... The sky seemed symbolic of what I was presently feeling. Though the moon was hidden behind the clouds, and I could not directly touch it or even see it, its light was so prominent and powerful that there was no denying its radiant beauty existed. It was there, for all to see, just like she was here in front of me now. And even though the moon’s prominence also showed us the rain, which many dread, it also provided us with something far greater and worthy of attention. Its light broke through the darkness and made us feel less alone, offering us a lit pathway to lead us out of the rain and back to the place where we felt most safe and comforted. It was an overwhelming feeling to behold, and as such, there was a part of me deep down inside that wanted to cry, not because of some looming pain, but because of the rush of joy that sprung from this moment and that simply had to be let out somehow. Part of me wanted to take her hand and bring her to her feet and just slow dance together as the rain poured over us. We both enjoyed the rain. Another part of me wanted to kiss her, not for lust, but instead, to serve as the wax seal of an envelope that carried the most important letter that could not be risked to slip out and end up within the hands of anyone else other than where it most belonged. However, I did neither of those things, as I recalled what state her heart was in, what place she presently stood, and that this eagerness would do us no good if enacted upon now. I had to be patient. -
“…I think it would go a lot like this.” I stated with a slightly choked-up tone of confidence. She snapped out of her upward gaze and then cocked her head to the side and looked at me inquisitively. Her eyebrows were furrowed, so I assumed she had lost track of our topic and had found herself lost within her thoughts, like me. “What would go like this?” She asked in an effort to catch back up to where our present reality was at. I turned to face her, there was a smile on my face that tucked itself back in as I spoke. “I think pursuing the love of a lifetime would go a lot like us, right here, in this very moment.” #writer #author #theloveofalifetime #momentstolearnfrom #love
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There's nothing I can say to possibly express the heart break I feel, the pain of your absence for Tysen, Taylor and Tanner. In the same breath there is overwhelming joy and gratefulness that you were ours! I love you still, I miss you forever!8-7-11 There's nothing I can say to possibly express the heart break I feel, the pain of your absence for Tysen, Taylor and Tanner. In the same breath there is overwhelming joy and gratefulness that you were ours! I love you still, I miss you forever!8-7-11
اناالله و انااليه راجعون. I am deeply sorry and sad to inform you that my father and best friend, ...
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اناالله و انااليه راجعون. I am deeply sorry and sad to inform you that my father and best friend, Dr. Abdul Subhan Hatifie, has left us in this world. Thank you all for the overwhelming love, prayers and support. This has been an unexpected shock to us all and your support has helped ease some ... اناالله و انااليه راجعون.
I am deeply sorry and sad to inform you that my father and best friend, Dr. Abdul Subhan Hatifie, has left us in this world. Thank you all for the overwhelming love, prayers and support. This has been an unexpected shock to us all and your support has helped ease some of the pain. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for everything you all have done over the passed few days while my father was fighting for his life. Funeral arrangements will be announced soon.
دوستان عزيز و گرامي!

يك جهان ممنون از لطف ومهرباني شما عزيزان ازدعاهاي خالصانه و ارزومندي صحت يابي براي پدرجان عزيزما داكتر سبحان هاتفي، ولي با تاسف كه بعد از زحمات پيگر دوكتوران ايشان به تصميم خداوند(ج) تسليم و به رحمت حق پيوستند. اناالله و انااليه راجعون.
مراسم خاك سپاري و فاتحه مرحومي
بزودي به اطلاع دوستان رسانيده خواهد شد.
اميدوارم محبت و حرمت پدران و مادران خويش را فراموش نكنيم و با اغوش كشيدن، محبت و عشق خالصانه أين نعمت بزرك را سپاس گذار باشيم.
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Life was once here, almost perfect, but has been pierced by a cold hatred. A dangerous God watches ...
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Life was once here, almost perfect, but has been pierced by a cold hatred. A dangerous God watches over us, just like I... stand over you. Making sure you dont escape my insanity, my overwhelming love for you. What else can I do to prove this love? All this time you longed to escape me, after causing ... Life was once here, almost perfect, but has been pierced by a cold hatred. A dangerous God watches over us, just like I... stand over you. Making sure you dont escape my insanity, my overwhelming love for you. What else can I do to prove this love? All this time you longed to escape me, after causing me to love you. Did you think you could leave without having to suffer? Without pain, without death? It is a bloody night, and my bloody hand forever holds your heart. (RP)
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I know I'm a day late, but I still wanted to post for #NationalSiblingsDay. In light of everything ...
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I know I'm a day late, but I still wanted to post for #NationalSiblingsDay. In light of everything that is happening in my life now, I have never been more grateful to have given birth to two girls who would adore each other beyond my wildest dreams. We did not have an easy road getting pregnant ... I know I'm a day late, but I still wanted to post for #NationalSiblingsDay. In light of everything that is happening in my life now, I have never been more grateful to have given birth to two girls who would adore each other beyond my wildest dreams.
We did not have an easy road getting pregnant with Stella--it took over 2 years, so Ira and I both agreed to start trying for our second on the earlier side. I never in a million years thought I would be pregnant before Stella's first birthday. Having two kids under two was pretty overwhelming. I barely even remember the first 6 months except that I was constantly worried about either neglecting my needy toddler or newborn baby. Did I nurse J long enough? Did I make big sis feel special? I could only pray that they would not resent each other. I worried so much about the sister dynamic.
As the months passed, my prayers were answered and with each day, I saw their love for each other grow. Neither has any memory of life without the other. They are, in a sense, a unit. They bring out the best and, of course, the worst in one another. But it is all so beautiful.
When Juliet lost her fingertip to the door a couple of weeks ago, I swear Stella felt her pain. I returned home from the hospital to find Stella hysterical until I reassured her Juliet would be just fine.
I hear them chatting in the middle of the night and my heart is filled with warmth. They are constantly checking up on one another and showing each other how much they are loved and cared for by the other. This is the best gift Gd ever could give the two of them, and Ira and me.
I'm so thankful for their inspiring sisterly bond and the unconditional love they share. This is it. #SisterlyLove #Sisters #SisterSister
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An open letter— In my whole journey as an actress, more often I was doubted, I was judged, I had to ...
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An open letter— In my whole journey as an actress, more often I was doubted, I was judged, I had to deal with scrutiny from people who did not know me, who made me suffer the consequences of the mistakes I did not commit and people did not give me a chance. People did not give me the chance to make ... An open letter—
In my whole journey as an actress, more often I was doubted, I was judged, I had to deal with scrutiny from people who did not know me, who made me suffer the consequences of the mistakes I did not commit and people did not give me a chance. People did not give me the chance to make some mistakes, learn and to better myself.
Other than the fact that I love my craft, I love what I do and I feel strongly passionate about acting— I’ve always wanted to prove myself. I’ve always wanted to prove my doubters wrong. I’ve always wanted to be more than my last name. I wanted my hard work to get the credit and not my last name. I wanted to make a name for myself. “I Love You, Hater” is a film I poured my heart and soul into. I was faced with one of the biggest challenges of my life before doing this film and I don’t think I was able to really pour my heart out as Julia and took the chance with Zoey. My every heartache, the every pain I felt in my body as Julia, I used Zoey as my outlet. I wanted to speak to people as Julia through Zoey & this is why I embraced Zoey. I embraced this film. I put down my walls, I let people in and see me at my most vulnerable

THE TEAM of ILYH from the actors to Direk Giselle, our writers, staff & crew, Star Cinema ADPROM and ABS CBN worked sleepless nights, braved the strom and worked till our own bodies gave up on us to produce a good quality film. It’s about time they get the recognition and appreciation they deserve.
We made a movie to add positivity to people’s lives and make them feel that they’re not alone. We are not going to allow any kind of negativity to lurk around our film

From Day 1 of our showing, Joshua and I talk about how overwhelming the feedback, appreciation and love we’ve been receiving.
Our journey has been so magical and special because we are getting the perfect amount of support... from our family, our friends, star cinema, our network & our supporters. ❤️
TRULY, at the end of the day, the Lord’s plan PREVAILS.
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Your heart will heal. All those precious pieces of your shattered heart are safe in the hands of our ...
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Your heart will heal. All those precious pieces of your shattered heart are safe in the hands of our greatest comfort. God will bind your wounded spirit with His unfailing love and bring a joy so overwhelming back into your life, you will have trouble remembering the pain of these moments. ... Your heart will heal. All those precious pieces of your shattered heart are safe in the hands of our greatest comfort. God will bind your wounded spirit with His unfailing love and bring a joy so overwhelming back into your life, you will have trouble remembering the pain of these moments. I know sometimes you might doubt how wonderful and beautiful Gods ultimate plan for your life is, maybe you feel unworthy, incapable or afraid to embrace the greatness He has placed within you. My deepest prayer for you is that your faith is renewed, restored and magnificently strengthened as you fight your way through this, one of your toughest battles. You already have a certain victory, because of your identity in Christ. You are an overcomer.

You will get through this. Do not let the darkness collapse around you. Darling, you are so much stronger than you know. You are not what happens to you. You are not your circumstances. You are going to be okay. 📸 @natebuzz
#thursdaythoughts #faith #hope #dream #inspire #live #laugh #love #staystrong #bebrave #nevergiveup #holdon #trust #bestill #lumièredarling #grateful #blessed #loveyourjourney #lifeisbeautiful #grace #youarebeautiful #youareanovercomer #embracetheunexpected
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this past January I got the opportunity to walk the streets of old Jerusalem, specifically where ...
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this past January I got the opportunity to walk the streets of old Jerusalem, specifically where Jesus carried the cross. tears began running down my face as I barely walked up those streets. just thinking about the pain Jesus went through, carrying the cross for me... for you... it was an ... this past January I got the opportunity to walk the streets of old Jerusalem, specifically where Jesus carried the cross. tears began running down my face as I barely walked up those streets. just thinking about the pain Jesus went through, carrying the cross for me... for you... it was an overwhelming experience that moved my heart. the moment we truly realize what He did on that cross and experience the power of His resurrection, we will never be the same. because of Jesus we are loved, forgiven, set free, redeemed, healed, restored, and made whole. His resurrection represents victory that you and I carry on the inside of us. victory to overcome any sin, temptations, obstacles, and hardships. Jesus is our only hope in this troubled world. the spirit of God who raised Jesus from the dead lives in YOU. my heart is filled with so much gratitude. thank you Jesus. only because of you I am here today. 🙌🏼❤️ #ressurectionsunday
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Last night I had a really, really bad panic attack. And I feel the urge to share this with you guys - ...
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Last night I had a really, really bad panic attack. And I feel the urge to share this with you guys - to let you know that I’m not that positive, happy human being 24/7. To let you know that there are times when I feel vulnerable and weak. Times when it comes to hating myself. I noticed I had these kinds ... Last night I had a really, really bad panic attack. And I feel the urge to share this with you guys - to let you know that I’m not that positive, happy human being 24/7. To let you know that there are times when I feel vulnerable and weak. Times when it comes to hating myself. I noticed I had these kinds of panic attacks every time something changes. Every time when there’s a huge change in my life, it happens. Because I’m not great at dealing with this.. I believe it has a lot to do with my childhood - which wasn’t the easiest but I’m not ready to share this with you yet, I’m sorry. It may have a lot to do with my broken inner child - but it also may have a lot to do with this journey of consciousness I’m taking.. with learning all these new, overwhelming things. I had these kind of panic attacks about 4-5 times over the past years - all by myself. I was always by myself. Last night there was someone with me - first time in my life. And I still don’t get how my boyfriend managed to not leave the room thinking I was completely insane, but instead he sat next to me on the floor holding me so so tight and trying to take some of my pain away. It was the first time in my life I let someone into the deepest parts of my soul and also completely into my heart. I felt so safe. And it’s so new to me feeling safe and secure. It’s new to me letting all these emotions and tears and screams out instead of fighting these demons all by myself - inside. I have to admit I felt the urge to cut myself again, to throw up again. I felt so so ugly and there was so much self hatred. I don’t even know where all this comes from ... because there are days when I think hey; girl, you’re pretty and most important you got some brain, you’ve come so far. Yeah, there are days when I pretty much like myself - but there are more of those other days even if I always try to share so much positive energy with you. It’s easy to tell other people to love themselves but it’s a whole different thing practicing self love after all these things that happened to me so far. It’s 5:30 am while I’m writing this from the bottom of my heart - and I think I’ve never opened up THIS MUCH.
#sladyshares
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Moments when there is an overwhelming validation of the pain people carry, much like myself.. Instead ...
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Moments when there is an overwhelming validation of the pain people carry, much like myself.. Instead of feeling less alone, I carry some sadness for them too. In fact, days like today are incredibly triggering for me. I am so proud of every person who shared their struggles today and I couldn't ... Moments when there is an overwhelming validation of the pain people carry, much like myself.. Instead of feeling less alone, I carry some sadness for them too. In fact, days like today are incredibly triggering for me. I am so proud of every person who shared their struggles today and I couldn't stomach remaining silent. However, the energy my heart has received today is heavy and hurting and I hope if there are others feeling as weighed down as I am, that you know that I see you, thank you for your existence. It is okay to not be okay, and surviving is a victory. #mentalhealthawareness #bellletstalk #poetry #suicideawareness
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Hi. This is my brother. A lot of the time like these past couple days, my tears are because of him. He ...
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Hi. This is my brother. A lot of the time like these past couple days, my tears are because of him. He always makes me cry. Ive cried because of moments I’ve been so scared I could loose him. Ive cried because I’ve had to battle my negative thoughts of ever living without him. Ive cried because I’ve ... Hi. This is my brother. A lot of the time like these past couple days, my tears are because of him. He always makes me cry. Ive cried because of moments I’ve been so scared I could loose him. Ive cried because I’ve had to battle my negative thoughts of ever living without him. Ive cried because I’ve witnessed him being hurt right in front of me. I’ve cried because I’ve been there when he’s gone thought his hardest times. I’ve cried because it was hard supporting my mum to raise him. I’ve cried because I understand his heart so well, that I’ve felt pain when he does. But do you know why he makes me cry the most?...the countless amount of times he has literally made me BURST of happiness so much, that my heart just cant take it! So I just start crying Lol. So many people can’t understand that & never will but im cool with that. More time its so overwhelming neither can I tbh. But I wouldn’t trade that feeling for the world! So thank you. Thank you for always making me cry. And I hope I cry buckets of joy for you forever! @mo.stack 💚
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I could honestly post a million pictures of you, but these are just a few from the last year. No pictures ...
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I could honestly post a million pictures of you, but these are just a few from the last year. No pictures or words could ever do you justice. Perm rods or head scarf, full beat or eyes full of sleep, beaming with energy or under the weather, there is still no woman in the world more beautiful and ... I could honestly post a million pictures of you, but these are just a few from the last year. No pictures or words could ever do you justice. Perm rods or head scarf, full beat or eyes full of sleep, beaming with energy or under the weather, there is still no woman in the world more beautiful and wonderful to me than you.

From the day we met a few years ago until now, I've learned so much about you, me, and what love can truly be. We've shared so many stories, spent eons on the phone, and laughed until our tears dehydrated us. From the proudest moments to the missteps, I still love learning about and experiencing life with you. My heart has opened up in a way that I never thought possible. Thank you for teaching me that pain doesn't last forever, but this overwhelming sense of joy can.

I love you from the bottom of my heart and deepest depths of my soul. Your love shines blinding sunlight on the darkest of nights. I've never been happier. And I'm infinitely proud to be your husband. Happy Valentine's Day, @neeq_wins.
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Courage, dear heart /// In the wake of tragedy, unthinkable evil acts, terror, senseless death, ...
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Courage, dear heart /// In the wake of tragedy, unthinkable evil acts, terror, senseless death, revolting and inhumane acts against fellow humans, and the stifling helplessness that nearly paralyzes us from it all, I’ve been asking myself “how do I respond?” Our hearts are broken and numb, ... Courage, dear heart /// In the wake of tragedy, unthinkable evil acts, terror, senseless death, revolting and inhumane acts against fellow humans, and the stifling helplessness that nearly paralyzes us from it all, I’ve been asking myself “how do I respond?” Our hearts are broken and numb, and we aren’t even the ones on the front-lines...Remember our souls were not designed to hold so much pain, though it exists. Take heart, take courage…

If you are looking for practical ways to help, here’s what I found:
First, this is overwhelming. Take care of your own mental health. Tips here: https://www.psychiatry.org/news-room/apa-blogs/apa-blog/2016/06/coping-after-tragedy

If you’re having conversations at home, here are some ways to talk to kids about mass shoots and terror: https://www.pintsizednola.com/talk-kids-mass-shootings/

Help support memorials of the deceased and families that have lost their loved ones on Go fund me:https://www.gofundme.com/las-vegas-mandalay-bay-shooting

Write to senators about gun control! Start here:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nicole-silverberg/guide-elected-representatives-gun-control_b_8708154.html

donate to is Volunteers in Medicine of Southern Nevada, which provides mental and physical health care to people who don't have access to it otherwise.

Donate blood if you can: http://redcrossblood.org/give/drive/driveSearch.jsp?scode=RSG00000E017&gclid=CL_htoDw1NYCFcKJfgodWysP7Q&gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CPu-vYDw1NYCFctqfgod5Z4APQ

And if you need community or need a space to pray, find a church near you at
Church finder: http://www.churchfinder.com/ or join me at Imago Dei Central on Sunday http://idcpdx.com/ “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those Crushed in Spirit.” -Psalm 34:18 #artistsoninstagram #artforacause #instaartist #illustration #illustratedfaith #couragedearheart
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It feels unreal to be posting these words- I’m pregnant! I’m finally pregnant! Words cannot express ...
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It feels unreal to be posting these words- I’m pregnant! I’m finally pregnant! Words cannot express the amount of overwhelming joy we feel. After years of trying and praying for our family to grow we are thrilled that God is bringing a little baby girl into our lives! Every negative pregnancy ... It feels unreal to be posting these words- I’m pregnant! I’m finally pregnant! Words cannot express the amount of overwhelming joy we feel. After years of trying and praying for our family to grow we are thrilled that God is bringing a little baby girl into our lives! Every negative pregnancy test, every doctor appointment, every tear shed- they have all led us to this place- beyond grateful, humbled by this miracle and praising God for the gift of life.

And though we are beyond excited, I know the pain that comes from seeing posts like this and my heart is burdened for those affected by infertility who wish it was their turn. This has been a long, hard road for us and for those of you who are in the thick of it- know that you’re not alone, that my heart breaks with yours, that it’s not fair and it’s not your fault, that I am just so sorry, and that you are prayed for.

For those who have been in the trenches with us- your words, your prayers, your support has and will continue to carry us. I have never felt so covered and God has truly shown Himself through you. Thank you, from the depths of our hearts.
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The significance of a photo. I lived in Maui, one of the most beautiful places on this Earth. I called ...
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The significance of a photo. I lived in Maui, one of the most beautiful places on this Earth. I called out of work this day and laid in bed crying all day because I thought I ate too much. Anxiety attacks, a torturous eating disorder, shameful tears, and internal suffering words cannot fully ... The significance of a photo. I lived in Maui, one of the most beautiful places on this Earth. I called out of work this day and laid in bed crying all day because I thought I ate too much. Anxiety attacks, a torturous eating disorder, shameful tears, and internal suffering words cannot fully express.. My wonderful boyfriend took me out on our scooter and I captured this photo. Through the lens of social media this looked like nothing but a magical moment, as it inevitably was. For me though, it was pain, hope, magic, misery, depression, love, anger, fear, and every other conflicted emotion aching in my heart. I couldn’t just appreciate what we so easily do as we lust through pictures on social media that look like bliss. This moment wasn’t just a rainbow of color for me that day. That’s the beauty of photography though, and something so sacred to me. Because today, I look at this photo in a new light, with gratitude, joy, excitement, confidence, passion, overwhelming love, and strength. I know now that it’s never too late to change your mindset. For the moment is gone, but the memory will never die and photographs have the ability to recreate your perspective. Something so broken, turned something so wonderful. Vulnerability is beautiful and brokenness can often lead to life. Trust the magic in your world✨ for future lengthy-heart pouring posts I have reactivated my health account, @nikkisnutritionn. I will be using that for my health coaching, lengthy thoughts and life blogging! ❤️😊
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This is what makes an extremist. Not the Quran. This young boy and those relatives of the ones who ...
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This is what makes an extremist. Not the Quran. This young boy and those relatives of the ones who were killed will grow and live struggling with the pain of losing their loved ones in a senseless act of terrorism and they may not be able to deal with the trauma and pain in a manner that does not manifest ... This is what makes an extremist. Not the Quran. This young boy and those relatives of the ones who were killed will grow and live struggling with the pain of losing their loved ones in a senseless act of terrorism and they may not be able to deal with the trauma and pain in a manner that does not manifest itself as an increasingly and overwhelming dichotomy of feeling intense patriotism, that is to say love and allegiance towards his people and country, but also of hatred and desire for revenge against the country which dropped the bomb on his beloved people and homeland because these are both feelings in which are deeply rooted within the heart and mind of every radical and revolutionary. Every time he looks in the mirror will be an ever present reminder of who his enemy is and it won’t be the ones bowing to his left and right during prayer at his mosque. It’ll be the ones with the words “kafir” and “infidel” patched on their uniforms.
#Repost @shaunking
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One of the few Yemeni boys to survive the bomb from the United States that was dropped on a school bus there. It killed 40 boys. More kids were killed in this attack than in 9/11, than in the OKC bombing, than in any school shooting.
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This was my first favorite #FridaKahlo. By which I mean, I would turn to its page in a book of my mama’s ...
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This was my first favorite #FridaKahlo. By which I mean, I would turn to its page in a book of my mama’s & cry. (And she would say, “E, if the deer painting makes you cry, don’t look at it.”) Which absolutely makes sense. But I couldn’t not look at it. The thing is, no one seems able to put her arms ... This was my first favorite #FridaKahlo. By which I mean, I would turn to its page in a book of my mama’s & cry. (And she would say, “E, if the deer painting makes you cry, don’t look at it.”) Which absolutely makes sense. But I couldn’t not look at it.
The thing is, no one seems able to put her arms around love & pain & strangeness all at once the way Frida does. And even as a child, I felt I had a lot of love & pain & strangeness. But I could never manage gracefully to get my arms around mine. They always seemed too large & sharp—awkward to carry & difficult to hide. But Frida painted hers without the slightest trace of embarrassment or apology. She’d make you look. She’d make you cringe. She’d make you cry. She’d make your heart beat with the overwhelming undaunted weight of her honesty. She is a forever reminder to me that the ugliest, most painful parts of us belong up there on the table with the most beautiful parts. We too could be so honest. We too could be so brave. 🌹🏹🦌
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Well the wait is over here is your winner by overwhelming 500 like as wellas good reasons why I should ...
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Well the wait is over here is your winner by overwhelming 500 like as wellas good reasons why I should be picked it. With a better contrast then the black is the reason. Thank you to everyone that voted thank you to everyone that show love I appreciate it I will do my best to find something to do special ... Well the wait is over here is your winner by overwhelming 500 like as wellas good reasons why I should be picked it. With a better contrast then the black is the reason. Thank you to everyone that voted thank you to everyone that show love I appreciate it I will do my best to find something to do special for the people who voted.

this is the cover for "The HeartBreak Ep"
Don't have a date to when is going to be released but I will be keep you updated on what will be coming out soon hopefully you will like it. Because there's a new thing for me to do so I will do my best to make sure that is a great project and can resonate with other people.

Here's just a little something. That's like a pre introduction to what this project is about.

Things fall apart. But pain starts to set in where love should have been. But somehow the line became thin, in the cast of doubt to darkness within, the State of Mind to redefine the way life is lived.  Minds of The Broken Hearted

So why pretend to be happy to be somewhere you don't fit in to the picture? Put on a smile, when you really feel the need to Exile yourself from all  the stuff that not meant for you to blend in.

This is just one way a Heart is broken. The mind of the broken Hearted is never token to the pain that sometimes is unspoken. Sometimes leaving a little explanation is the biggest heartbreak anyone ever taken.

#MindOfMusic🎧🎵 #TheLoneWolf🐺 #HeartBreakaEp💔
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I've been tryna find the remedy, But idk where to find it, Ppl say its right infront of my eyes, Well ...
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I've been tryna find the remedy, But idk where to find it, Ppl say its right infront of my eyes, Well then I guess im fricken blind, How can someone even love me when i cant even love myself? That's why its hurts when i go in my room and see them pictures on the shelf, Because that's the only ... I've been tryna find the remedy,
But idk where to find it,
Ppl say its right infront of my eyes,
Well then I guess im fricken blind,
How can someone even love me when i cant even love myself?
That's why its hurts when i go in my room and see them pictures on the shelf,
Because that's the only ting that helps,
But no one knows the pain I've felt,
And no one knows what i have dealth with,
Don't want to cry but really i cannot help it,
These ppl tryna talk to me they arent helping,
They tink they understand my pain,they have not felt it,
And recently all my emotions are overwhelming,
How'd i give you all of my heart then you tore it apart,
So i guess this goodbye,
Yah we onto fresh starts #presence
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I know I haven’t spoke much about this, but how do you talk about something you’re too afraid to actually ...
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I know I haven’t spoke much about this, but how do you talk about something you’re too afraid to actually feel. All the pain and regret that consumes me every time I’m forced to admit that I just lost the woman who not only brought me into this world... but taught me how to prevail in a world that’s ... I know I haven’t spoke much about this, but how do you talk about something you’re too afraid to actually feel. All the pain and regret that consumes me every time I’m forced to admit that I just lost the woman who not only brought me into this world... but taught me how to prevail in a world that’s betting on you to fail. That a little struggle never killed anyone. She showed me that it’s okay to have feelings, as long as you don’t let them define you. And she wasn’t perfect and she didn’t need to be. Because she was my mother and she loved me.. and now I’m faced with the fact that I don’t get to have her in my life anymore. That my children will only know stories of their crazy, load, and funny Grandma... but worst of all I’m faced with how much I took my time with her for granted. That I will never get to tell her how sorry I am for not being more there and for not calling... I wish I would have been there to help take care of you and know what to do. Because now I just feel so lost and hurt.. I don’t know how to deal with the overwhelming amount of emotion that over powers me when I think of not having you here anymore. My heart is broken. I know you were in a lot of pain and I’m glad you don’t have to keep suffering and fighting. I’m just so sad that I lost you. It’s not fair to ever lose your mother so suddenly and with no clear explanation as to what happened.. I’m trying to be strong, not for me but for my mommy. I just honestly don’t know how long I can suppress these feelings. I love you so much.. and I miss you more than ever. I’m losing another parent again.. I didn’t think I’d be someone who loses their mother is soon in life. It’s not fair... it’s just not fair. I know you are still here spiritually and I hope to always feel your presence with me. I want to say more but I can’t get myself together enough to stop hurting and crying.
Till we meet again, I love you. #RIPAprilMarieHagadorn #MyBeautifulMommy #ICantDealRightNow 💔
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PLEASE READ!!!!!It was 8 years and 2 days ago when one of the most influential men in my life passed ...
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PLEASE READ!!!!!It was 8 years and 2 days ago when one of the most influential men in my life passed away. I remember the day so vibrantly as my father and I tried to resuscitate my grandpa. I remember the next morning yelling at God, it was just months prior to that I decided to follow him. I sat ... PLEASE READ!!!!!It was 8 years and 2 days ago when one of the most influential men in my life passed away. I remember the day so vibrantly as my father and I tried to resuscitate my grandpa. I remember the next morning yelling at God, it was just months prior to that I decided to follow him. I sat in my room angry and upset. I remember approaching my mom this very day 8 years ago asking to go to church, I had some talking with God to take care of. I sat in the back as I began to cry in complete misunderstanding to what this pain had purpose for. A lady approached me as I sat alone and asked me a few questions of whether or not I was okay. I began to tell her everything. She asked me if my grandfather knew the lord, I responded with a gentle, “I think so. I mean he had to, he did things only some one who loved Jesus would do. He said thing only someone who loved Jesus would say”. Her response changed my life, it was simple, “then why are you worried”. I remember wanting to be offended, but I couldn’t help but feel this strange peace come over my life. I can’t explain it but this overwhelming sense of love poured out on me. It was my senior year of high school, I remember coming to God again and telling him, “ if you’re real, you have to use me. I need to see people come to know you. I need people to feel that same peace I just felt. I’m giving you my all and I want to change the world”. It was this day 8 years ago I signed up to change the world. To see people come to know love, peace and joy. I don’t say this to make you feel sad about my grandfather. I say this because a transformation occurred through it. I had a choice to walk away but I choose to stand firm and chase this peace in my heart. I’ve never felt so much joy in my life. I’ve never felt so much hope for a nation. 8 years later I can honestly say God has used me in more ways than I ever imagined. I’ve seen hundreds of people come to know his love and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve been doing this for some time now and I don’t think people know why. I do this because people are worth it and God changed my life. 📸:@anthony_uriarte
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 #theend? Missing you has been the worst punishment I could ever have, it is my hell, it has been torture, ...
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#theend? Missing you has been the worst punishment I could ever have, it is my hell, it has been torture, it kills me slowly, it is childish, it is immature, it is overwhelming, it is anguish, it is cowardness, it is toxic, it is relieving, it keeps me going, it slows me down, it turns my stomach, ... #theend?
Missing you has been the worst punishment I could ever have, it is my hell, it has been torture, it kills me slowly, it is childish, it is immature, it is overwhelming, it is anguish, it is cowardness, it is toxic, it is relieving, it keeps me going, it slows me down, it turns my stomach, it reverses my mind It messes with me more than any poison I've given myself, it makes me cry; whenever I can't take it anymore, whenever the void can no longer be masked by anything I do. It makes me smile, missing you is something I hate doing; every day, I cant imagine the day I'll stop missing you, it is silly, it is a memory, it is bad, it is the most beautiful thing I feel to the day, it is music, it is silence, it is fear, it means I still feel and I am not dead. It hurts, it is violent, it is calm, it is quiet, it is loud, it is a heart beat that never stops accelerating, it's is the last breath at the end of the day and the beginning of one. It is the first chord I play on stage and the last strum every time I put down my guitar. It is pain, it is adventure. It is. I hate myself, because it is easier to ask for forgiveness, than to forgive myself. It is the day I knew I loved you, it is the day I knew I'd never see you again. (July 10, 2011)
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"When someone breaks our heart, we so desperately want them to know how much they hurt us, thinking ...
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"When someone breaks our heart, we so desperately want them to know how much they hurt us, thinking it will change something. But it doesn't. They can respond empathetically, feel guilt, and hopefully learn how to avoid hurting someone so badly in the future, but your hurt isn't going to change ... "When someone breaks our heart, we so desperately want them to know how much they hurt us, thinking it will change something. But it doesn't. They can respond empathetically, feel guilt, and hopefully learn how to avoid hurting someone so badly in the future, but your hurt isn't going to change the situation and likely won't make them feel anywhere near as bad as you do. Even if they did something horrible, they're telling themselves whatever they can so they feel better too, we are all always in survival mode- "They're hurting now, but it's what is best for them in the long run," "It was unavoidable." Whether their internal dialogue is true or not, we are experts at convincing ourselves that our actions are justified. Your pain is yours to work through, no person can be both the cause and solution of your hurt. Don't be afraid of expressing it because it's real and can be so overwhelming, but you don't need to "prove" your pain, hoping for some sort of response. If anything, it will push them farther away, and delay your moving forward. Ultimately, you don't want to be with someone only because they don't want you to be sad, or because they feel sorry for you. You shouldn't guilt someone into loving you, and them pulling a lesson from the situation is their task. You work on your own.
"Move on quietly, love yourself loudly."
I needed this 6 months ago.
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This conviction I have had over the last three weeks has been overwhelming. I said that I would not ...
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This conviction I have had over the last three weeks has been overwhelming. I said that I would not forget to post and I haven’t but God said to be still. First there was the march and the backlash from its success and what others saw as “failures “. Then there was the silent cry from those who felt ... This conviction I have had over the last three weeks has been overwhelming. I said that I would not forget to post and I haven’t but God said to be still. First there was the march and the backlash from its success and what others saw as “failures “. Then there was the silent cry from those who felt the pain of it feeling as though it would never end. So God said “be still and know that I am God”. And through the prayer and waiting on his response came this post :”To heal a wound you must stop scratching it.” - Paulo Coelho. Sometimes wisdom comes from the most unpredictable places Parkland though I have not publicly been speaking your name privately you have not left my heart. Daily you visit my thoughts, my prayers, and my concerns, may God continue to minister to your broken hearts. #iamyouradvocate #findyourpurose
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Let me tell you bout my friend/inspiration, Patrick Wright... I remember the first time I stepped ...
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Let me tell you bout my friend/inspiration, Patrick Wright... I remember the first time I stepped on the farm and met this amazing man as he told his story of how he came to @bontonfarms . He was a drug addict and at his end rope; early one morning he had decided he was going to kill himself and walked ... Let me tell you bout my friend/inspiration, Patrick Wright...
I remember the first time I stepped on the farm and met this amazing man as he told his story of how he came to @bontonfarms . He was a drug addict and at his end rope; early one morning he had decided he was going to kill himself and walked outside to pray (he was practicing Islam at this point in his life) and told God he was done and didn’t want to be in pain no more...
Across the street was Daron Babcock and some people who were helping a lady whose electricity went out and Daron walks over and asks to use his since he was out on the porch and Patrick skeptical of this “white dude” had an attitude and Daron explained who he was and how he had bought the crack house up the street in the hood and planted the garden (by this time the hood heard about this guy who wanted to help the neighborhood so people could have access to fresh food) and Patrick started crying because he didn’t know that people like him cared for the community. So Daron began to pray over and with Patrick and told him about a Bible study he had every week and invited him. Patrick was reluctant at first since he was Muslim but thought he’d check it out. He said it took him awhile to understand Jesus and how God could love people the way he does and had a lot of questions but he kept going every week and one day he gave his life to Christ. From that moment it changed his life forever.
This man has inspired me so much to be grateful for each day and to always look for opportunities to help people and love on people... to always be humble and always strive to be and do things above average. His wisdom, faith, and stories have touched so many lives and whenever I feel like life is overwhelming, I go to the farm to be reminded of what hope looks like!
Behind me is the original farm (before it grew to where it is today) but this is where it all started because of one man who had a heart to help those in need! 🌱
This garden represents what hard work, faith, love, compassion, & perseverance can achieve! This farm has impacted me in ways I can never explain and ignited my spirit to take action in times when everything seemed hopeless. ❤
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 #transformationtuesday When you want to quit but you keep going... that’s when you grow <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️<span class="emoji emoji1f4af"></span><span class="emoji emoji1f4aa"></span>🏼 ...
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#transformationtuesday When you want to quit but you keep going... that’s when you grow 🏼 losing 100lbs before I turned 30 because I was SO sick and tired of being sick and tired ALL the time fighting cancer multiple times, being told I had to be put on insulin For diabetes, years of depression, ... #transformationtuesday
When you want to quit but you keep going... that’s when you grow ❤️💯💪🏼 losing 100lbs before I turned 30 because I was SO sick and tired of being sick and tired ALL the time fighting cancer multiple times, being told I had to be put on insulin For diabetes, years of depression, a single mom, hating myself and how I looked and felt, bad relationship that tore me down, to overwhelming anxiety, knees and back constantly hurting! To Now 6 years keeping it off, having a failing heart with blocked arteries, I def. won't say I don't have days or weeks or even a month here and there where life kicks me at my lowest, where I can’t take anymore pain or heartbreak or where depression creeps back at my door asking me to come back in! Daily I have to fight just like everyone else that faces struggles and trails, daily I have listen to the word, read the word, do mediation or personal development and pray. Struggles come but strength is saying NO matter what I WILL press on towards all life has for me and my happiness. And I wake up daily and know I'm not doing this just for me! I'm doing this because my #1 is knowing I have 2 amazing boys that need me at my healthiest, that I want them to see no matter what life throws u that you don't give up! I want be an example to them on strength, fight, love, willpower and determination! #theyaremyreason and I thank God He gives me that strength to be all I can No matter what! I don't believe in excuses- I believe in FIGHT!!! #God1st #fight #fightforlife #igfit #followme #abs #muscles #determination #fitmom #proudmom #God1st #strongwomen #strength #fight #willpower #nevergiveup #knowyourwhy #love #health #fitness #npc #behealthy #100lbsdown #100lbsloss #100lbsgone #100lbslost #weightloss #lifeback #fitmamalifestyle
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Divorced... goodness that word was tough to hear, tough to say, tough to admit to. When I heard that, ...
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Divorced... goodness that word was tough to hear, tough to say, tough to admit to. When I heard that, I automatically felt embarrassment, shame, disappointment. I hesitated every time someone asked about my relationship status or I had to check it off on a form. I was so frightened when people ... Divorced... goodness that word was tough to hear, tough to say, tough to admit to. When I heard that, I automatically felt embarrassment, shame, disappointment. I hesitated every time someone asked about my relationship status or I had to check it off on a form.
I was so frightened when people in the community began to hear about my biggest failure, one I wasn't able to hide.
As soon as the news started rolling out, people wanted to make sense of it. Why? When? How? So where did they go to draw their conclusions? Facebook. People my parents age, "the elders of the church", the people we are taught to respect and look up to, all of a sudden had a great interest in my facebook, creeping back to pictures from years ago. After they took the time searching through years and years of my memories, they chose to go to my father in law and say "it worked out for the best. Have you seen the inappropriate photos she posts?" I can still remember hearing about this. An overwhelming feeling of darkness, pain, disappointment came over me. "Why can't people see me for me? Maybe they're right?" They hit me deep, trigerred the biggest insecurity that I have had my entire life... I am worthless and I don't deserve to be loved. Good riddens. If I'm gone, it's a blessing. God- this hurt. I deleted my Facebook. I wanted to hide. I was so sad and angry. When I noticed myself falling back into this pit of despair, fear, self hatred... I reached out to those who truly know me and love me. It helped me get back to reality. I could finally see again, see things as they truly were. I knew in my heart that I wasn't bad person. Yes, I have made many terrible mistakes  but I am only human. But the way I choose to dress, express myself, my confidence, my passion for solo travel are not things to be embarrassed of. People who choose to judge me for those things are just fearful of them. Also, if they get joy out of speaking hurtful things about someone else, they are in an unhappy place.  I wonder if they knew that as soon as I heard what they did, that I sobbed, that I went to my dark place again, would they have any remorse?
Part 1 of 2 #selflove #divorce
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Hi, I’m Jen! It’s been a while since I introduced myself here, and things have changed a lot in the ...
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Hi, I’m Jen! It’s been a while since I introduced myself here, and things have changed a lot in the past year or so. What hasn’t changed is my desire for this space to point to Jesus and His incredible faithfulness, relentless love and overwhelming grace in every season of life. My #1 purpose ... Hi, I’m Jen! It’s been a while since I introduced myself here, and things have changed a lot in the past year or so. What hasn’t changed is my desire for this space to point to Jesus and His incredible faithfulness, relentless love and overwhelming grace in every season of life. My #1 purpose in this life is to use everything I have to try and showcase His glory. What’s in flux is my transition from doing that though what used to be my photography business to now my mostly, stay-at-home-school life with two of the most beautiful little souls on the planet. My heart is bent like a poet and in my veins runs the need to create beauty out of whatever is around me. So I’m doing what God has created me for through whatever means I can, whether it is leading worship or penning songs with my husband/ @ashesandheirs, crafting memories for the people in my life, being a listening ear for anyone who needs to talk about their pain and struggle, sharing about what God is teaching me in His word, or simply teaching my girls to see God and His world with eyes of wonder. I love looking all the incredibly unique ways God has created us all and how He designs us so wonderfully different to bring glory to Himself. I’m trying to fully accept who He has made me to be and use nothing less than all I have to live out what he has designed me to do in this life, in every season of life. He is such a creative God, and I think it’s part of my journey with Him to continually discover His beauty in the dark and light, saying with my life, “Come gaze at Him with me! Come sit in wonder at what He makes! How beautiful You are God!”
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The biggest obstacle you’ll ever have to overcome is your mind. If you can overcome that, you can ...
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The biggest obstacle you’ll ever have to overcome is your mind. If you can overcome that, you can overcome anything. 🧠• I’m stronger because I have to be, I’m smarter because of my mistakes, happier because of my sadness I’ve known, and now wiser because I learned. || Thankful for the experiences ... The biggest obstacle you’ll ever have to overcome is your mind. If you can overcome that, you can overcome anything. 🧠• I’m stronger because I have to be, I’m smarter because of my mistakes, happier because of my sadness I’ve known, and now wiser because I learned. || Thankful for the experiences life gives me to know appreciation, to feel overwhelming joy, to learn unconditional love, and to understand home is where the heart is. • Last night at our UCLA home. It’s been 132 days of discovering myself through the pain, challenge, fear and extreme happiness. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new life in a new home. A day I questioned would come. A day at one point I lost confidence would arrive. A day my donors’ are making possible. I go into tomorrow a stronger and bolder me. A me that breathes deep. ♻️ Please send thoughts of love to my donors’ families. They allow me to no longer FIGHT TO BREATHE but to simply LIVE, FEEL, and EXPERIENCE breathing easy! #Thankful #Donors #Fight2Breathe #CysticFibrosis #65Roses #DonateLife #OrganDonation #unos #hospital #doublelungtransplant #ucla #medical #medicine #strong #confident #postsurgery #breathingeasy
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Thank you for your overwhelming amount of support & prayers. I appreciate all of them so much. This ...
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Thank you for your overwhelming amount of support & prayers. I appreciate all of them so much. This is truly so difficult & I am in so much pain I don’t know what to do with myself. The tears have come in waves since this happened this afternoon, but it’s 2:30am now, and I am completely broken and ... Thank you for your overwhelming amount of support & prayers. I appreciate all of them so much. This is truly so difficult & I am in so much pain I don’t know what to do with myself. The tears have come in waves since this happened this afternoon, but it’s 2:30am now, and I am completely broken and can’t stop sobbing. Ginger slept with me every night and now she’s not here and I can’t deal with it. I’ve read about going on support groups to help cope with this, but I don’t know of any, so I’m hoping maybe this post can kind of become one for people who are grieving the loss of their pup(s). Im so incredibly sorry for all of you who are going through this with me. My heart is with every one of you. If you need to talk, I’ll do my best to chat with you. 💜 to you all. (A throwback to one of my favorite pictures of us, about five years ago. Before she lost a ton of weight and was a little chunk)
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The man pictured with me here served in Vietnam. He told me of a time he went into a VFW location & WWII ...
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The man pictured with me here served in Vietnam. He told me of a time he went into a VFW location & WWII veterans told him Vietnam wasn’t a real war; he wasn’t welcome there. He told me of a relative who believed he should have run to Canada & not fight in a war they didn’t believe in. His marriage ... The man pictured with me here served in Vietnam. He told me of a time he went into a VFW location & WWII veterans told him Vietnam wasn’t a real war; he wasn’t welcome there. He told me of a relative who believed he should have run to Canada & not fight in a war they didn’t believe in. His marriage ended. He sacrificed much. He wasn’t complaining. He was sharing truth of his life, no grudges. He’s at peace with people who don’t understand his beliefs & life of service. He’s fought through pain to find happiness. He’s a warrior in life. He shared with me his happiness today with a wife of many years; his bright blue eyes twinkled as he talked about her. He shared his desire to continue serving today in ways he could do from a wheelchair & the sting of not being needed even when he’s willing. Then, he pulled out his wings and told me these were the actual wings he was given in Vietnam. He’s carried them with him for a long time. He placed them in my hands and told me he wanted me to have them. That’s when the ugly cry made it’s way to the surface. I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of service, sacrifice and a warrior’s deep desire to understand and be understood. This warrior has a happy life holding no grudges; a valiant fight for one who has endured much.
This story unfolded with the overwhelming spirit of Chris, healing and service almost palpable in the hot dry winds of Odessa blowing across the memorial plaza and now Chris Kyle Memorial Highway. The memorial plaza says much about Chris and it says so much about the people in Odessa and what Odessa stands for. Odessans and sculptor Vic Payne have outdone themselves. My heart is full for all the lives they will continue to touch with this plaza. There are so many veteran stories here. To Chris, I can only imagine how you must feel in heaven having your earthly life of service continue through this monument. I am happy for you. I miss you. I ache with the loss of you here. I love you. I always will. (For more, click link in bio)
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《A wedding with countless blessings <span class="emoji emoji1f470"></span>🏻🤵🏻Holly &Joe》 My First ever experience... Deepest confession ...
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《A wedding with countless blessings 🏻🤵🏻Holly &Joe》 My First ever experience... Deepest confession that one can ever made in public... It takes tremendous courage... N of cuz overwhelming emotion... I guess it’s the amazing power of 不配的得醫治... I’m sure this ceremony stirred up a ... 《A wedding with countless blessings 👰🏻🤵🏻Holly &Joe》
My First ever experience... Deepest confession that one can ever made in public...
It takes tremendous courage...
N of cuz overwhelming emotion...
I guess it’s the amazing power of 不配的得醫治...
I’m sure this ceremony stirred up a lot of thoughts for everyone...
May seeds be planted at Every heart... Their love towards each other, towards God n towards those they cared about is so powerful n influential that impacted me a lot n I’ve been thinking over n over for the whole night... When we make a very wrong decision n promise, we won’t notice how wrong it can be until problem appears... N it brings enormous pain... which is super scary... unfortunately we all made bad decisions b4... So witnessing them having the second chance in which they also ve Family+Friends+Church total support is phenomenal! How many ppl has the privilege to ve all 3... a total acceptance?

Not just the above... The sharing couple r their care group long time friends, they knew each other so well... n had accompanied them thru highs n lows... how nice to ve such intimate 同行者 to share a life with!

In the beginning of the story, everything went wrong... but along the way, when we r willing to lay down our lives, everything has been made right by God... n when we look back, we found that He has already put the most precious along the way even b4 we notice we need... isn’t that the perfect illustration of, “we love because He first loved us”...? Thx to Hollly & Joe, when I sang the song #只想緊緊抱住你 for u 2, i realized u ve given it a new meaning, a different dimension n a deeper connection... whenever I sing this song again, ur emotion, ur love & ur courage will be carried forward n May hearts be touched n be encouraged!! I’m so grateful to be a part of it, thx again for having me... May God bless u 2 a joyful new beginning!! 💞
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I don't really have words for this. It's taken me weeks to even get to the point where I can possibly ...
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I don't really have words for this. It's taken me weeks to even get to the point where I can possibly say anything here. My heart is broken from the overwhelming grief and pain I feel whenever I think about these pictures. It was just a few weeks ago that I so excitedly thanked Hashem for the double ... I don't really have words for this. It's taken me weeks to even get to the point where I can possibly say anything here. My heart is broken from the overwhelming grief and pain I feel whenever I think about these pictures. It was just a few weeks ago that I so excitedly thanked Hashem for the double joy in our house, as my younger brother Yisroel got engaged to the sweetest, kindest, most special girl, Elisheva. And just 10 short days after their engagement, on Tuesday night, April 3rd, they were killed by drunk drag racers as they drove home after a day spent visiting our grandparents and siblings. We don't live life with what-ifs and if-onlys. We choose daily to put our faith and trust in G-d and to believe wholeheartedly that what He does is best. I choose to focus on thanking Him for the 21 precious years we had to enjoy Yisroel, and the 10 exciting days in which I began to get a hint of Elisheva's beautiful character. I choose to focus on what good I can bring to the world in their honor, by following their paths. And I choose to focus on a deeper appreciation of the days I have and the relationships I have and everything good Hashem has given me every minute of my life. It is excruciatingly difficult to move past this tragedy in any way. But I choose to focus on what positivity I can spark and how I can emulate Yisroel and Elisheva every day. May their souls rise higher and higher daily. I know Ari is looking out for them up there.
We miss you two more than words can say.
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Haven't written a lengthy post in over a month. My head and heart were spiralling end of Feb and most ...
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Haven't written a lengthy post in over a month. My head and heart were spiralling end of Feb and most of March was spent in self... second guessing my decisions, especially sobriety. This is hard word guys. Not saying it out of self-seeking motives, but just to acknowledge that it goes against ... Haven't written a lengthy post in over a month. My head and heart were spiralling end of Feb and most of March was spent in self... second guessing my decisions, especially sobriety. This is hard word guys. Not saying it out of self-seeking motives, but just to acknowledge that it goes against everything "I want" which is instant gratification, validation, and permission to wallow. I know now that this is what I used to want, old habits that no longer serve my highest self and calling. Here's the thing... a year ago in April I lost a dear friend. She impacted my life for a short time but it set into motion a bunch of dominoes. I promised myself and her that I would LIVE life. I would really try my best. The events that have unfolded since, so epic that I sometimes fear I imagined them.

Yesterday, I attended my first sweatlodge. I mourned, I cried, I felt true discomfort for the first time. We sang through it, a tribe of women reconnecting with our earth, our spirits, our ancestors, and releasing what no longer serves us. Processing it all is still overwhelming but today, I am ever so grateful!
Grateful for the universe allowing me to heal, allowing me to connect with others, and allowing the space to feel with others.

My alter now houses pieces of inspiration and healing. Teachers and Angels that have come into my life and shared wisdoms, strength, and zest for life.

To anyone suffering or feeling uncomfortable I promise you it will pass. Feel it. Embrace it. Thank it. When the pain gets to be too much you will make any changes necessary. This I know to be true.
I am grateful for my tribe. I am grateful for my life, that I woke up. I am grateful for my sobriety. For the discomfort. For the layers that keep peeling. I am grateful for you.
Wishing you all a peaceful day ♡

#gratitude #alter #onedayatatime #serenity #blessings #ancestors #spiritguides #sweatlodge #tribe #sobriety #recovery
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<span class="emoji emoji1f48b"></span> HEALING: AN EXCERPT 💭 The simplicity of my testimony is that I. Am. Healed. And I do not know how ...
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HEALING: AN EXCERPT 💭 The simplicity of my testimony is that I. Am. Healed. And I do not know how else to articulate the beauty nor expound upon the mystery of the experience for the nuances of our limited diction. What verbal defense can I provide for the transformation of heart now occupied ... 💋 HEALING: AN EXCERPT 💭
The simplicity of my testimony is that
I. Am. Healed.
And I do not know how else to articulate the beauty nor expound upon the mystery of the experience for the nuances of our limited diction. What verbal defense can I provide for the transformation of heart now occupied
by an overwhelming peace,
once afflicted by anxiety;
by an immense sense of joy,
once debilitated by depression.
For so long did I derate the fact that God could abdicate His strength to me, and extricate me from the pain of my own doings. Yet I sat around to pontificate all my finite knowings of God while lacking the ability to emulate the power that was already in my being.
Un-accessed unattained, waiting while i writhed in vain to make sense of the faith i claimed as my own while denying the power thereof.
The Kingdom of God does not exist in Talk but of Power. And the reasoning of man juxtaposed to being held in God’s hand seems to be an easily answered question in times of recourse. -
I was in bondage and now I am free.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The majority of my life is spent thinking of, and doing for, others. My family, friends, boyfriend, ...
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The majority of my life is spent thinking of, and doing for, others. My family, friends, boyfriend, employees, coworkers, club members, etc. Having a heart that puts others first is a gift, but it can become draining when done in excess. Overwhelming stress, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, ... The majority of my life is spent thinking of, and doing for, others. My family, friends, boyfriend, employees, coworkers, club members, etc. Having a heart that puts others first is a gift, but it can become draining when done in excess. Overwhelming stress, lack of sleep, lack of appetite, (too much wine) and actual physical pain, from not cherishing myself as much as I cherish others. So I’m officially checking out (as soon as I leave work today). It’s not you, it’s me 💃🏻 #selflove #treatyoself #memyselfandi
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So, I really debated on what I would post or say about this. It’s is such a hard thing to share. The reason ...
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So, I really debated on what I would post or say about this. It’s is such a hard thing to share. The reason I decided to post about it, is because my family is a big part of who I am as a person, how I approach being a photographer with my seniors, my clients, and how I document those memories. As some ... So, I really debated on what I would post or say about this. It’s is such a hard thing to share. The reason I decided to post about it, is because my family is a big part of who I am as a person, how I approach being a photographer with my seniors, my clients, and how I document those memories.
As some of you might have seen from my posts last week my son was in the hospital. We thought he had been having some minor infection going on on his cheek. After a few weeks of medication and still not getting better, we decided to take him to the hospital.
Initially, It went from being the regular night, to the worst night of my entire life! That night I was taking into a little room, like you see in the movies, and told that they were pretty sure my son had cancer.
Words do not express, the pain in my heart when we heard that! And the worst part, is having to tell a boy who has always been such an upbeat and positive person that he might have cancer! I hardly slept. All sorts of things go through your mind that you cannot shut off. Have I been a good enough mother? Have I spent enough time with my family? For about 36 hours we thought that’s what he had. They ended up taking a mass out of his sinus cavity, that once they saw it, they did not think that it was cancer after all.
This entire time, if any of you know my son, he was the definition of strength and positivity. He had his nurses laughing, he still had a smile on his face. Unless his mom cried, so I tried not to do it in front of him.
Yesterday we got the word that it is not cancer, but a disorder of the bone that he’s probably had since birth, and it just mutated and showed up during puberty.
He will have to have more surgery, but they feel once they remove the entire thing, it should not come back. The relief that I feel today is overwhelming. I can breathe!!!! And I greatly appreciate all of my friends, seniors, and clients, being part of my family this week! ❤️❤️❤️ Sent from my iPhone
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Easter is really special to me, and this year was weird... weird to be in a new city, weird to not be ...
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Easter is really special to me, and this year was weird... weird to be in a new city, weird to not be doing my annual solo beach walk on a Hawaiian shore, sitting in awe at Gods creation where the sky met the mountains and the beautiful cotton candy clouds rose above the horizon ... digging my feet ... Easter is really special to me, and this year was weird... weird to be in a new city, weird to not be doing my annual solo beach walk on a Hawaiian shore, sitting in awe at Gods creation where the sky met the mountains and the beautiful cotton candy clouds rose above the horizon ... digging my feet into the sand and realizing Gods love for us is greater than every grain of sand in the ocean... I would sit and count every possible blessing in my life. But even without my annual Hawaiian backdrop, God’s love still reigned in my heart and reminded me of His overwhelming love for each and everyone of us. And I hope that for anyone who this holiday brings confusion or complexity, or reminders of pain, or judgement, to know that amidst the stones that have been thrown at you or the shame talks you’ve been given, there is a God who is completely sad and probably even downright angry for how you have been treated. Today is a total reminder at how scandalous God’s grace actually is, and how no matter what shape we are in, He will always meet us where we’re at with open arms. “The day and it’s trouble shall come, but I know your strength is enough, the scandal of grace, you died in my place, so my soul shall live....”
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What significance more does the resurrection of Christ means for me, for my family? Because of His ...
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What significance more does the resurrection of Christ means for me, for my family? Because of His death, I live. What does that even mean? My husband’s death has changed life permanently for me and I see a few things a little more clearly. In talking with my first son about his father’s death, ... What significance more does the resurrection of Christ means for me, for my family? Because of His death, I live. What does that even mean? My husband’s death has changed life permanently for me and I see a few things a little more clearly. In talking with my first son about his father’s death, initially I brought too much theology to explain and it was difficult for my young son to grasp. It wasn’t until about a month later, when he was struggling and acting out that we were able to bridge his understanding. I asked him where Daddy was and who Daddy was with. He replied accordingly: Heaven, God/Jesus. I then began to share the reason why Daddy is in Heaven is because He believed in Jesus, who also died. He died on the cross, for our sins so that when we die, we can enjoy heaven with Him. His death saved Daddy and if we follow Jesus, if we believe in Him, we will be with Him in heaven and we will see Daddy again. It’s difficult for most of us to believe fully in a God/Man who we have never seen, never touched, who isn’t tangible. Yet, my son knew his father. Touched him, talked with him, played with him. His daddy’s death connected his heart and mind in making the gospel personal and real to him. His father is still teaching him of Jesus. Life here on earth is not heaven, and it is not intended to be. We get glimpses, tastes, yearnings, but not the paradise the saints enjoy for eternity. Jesus’ death paid the price for our sins. There’s no promise in this life to be perfect, but He will carry us through and give us strength in this weary and often overwhelming race. My life here has purpose because of Him because the purpose is Him. Today, I rejoice in my Savior’s resurrection. Today, I believe it more than I ever have before. I can not hope to avoid suffering in this life because the cross is dripping from the bittersweet cup of pain and suffering. The cup He drank because He so loved us. It’s because of that cup, because of the suffering of the cross, I have hope. His death and his life is what makes my husband’s life and death matter and it is what has given me life, for now and for eternity. 🖤
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The Cross of Christ has changed my life in more ways that I can express. I grew up in a pastor’s home ...
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The Cross of Christ has changed my life in more ways that I can express. I grew up in a pastor’s home and have known about the story of Jesus ever since I was little. After almost 20 years of hearing the story over and over, there’s still something that tugs on my heart and brings me to tears. His ... The Cross of Christ has changed my life in more ways that I can express. I grew up in a pastor’s home and have known about the story of Jesus ever since I was little. After almost 20 years of hearing the story over and over, there’s still something that tugs on my heart and brings me to tears.
His death & resurrection has brought me unexplainable healing, overwhelming peace, and complete purpose. In the midst of torment and darkness, the Cross served as my lighthouse: a beacon of hope that transcended purpose in my pain. Its illuminating light overcame every shadow- defeating all of my anxiety, bitterness, and anything else that took life from me.
The Cross of Jesus is a monument of the promise of love. It is the memorial where perfection took on our sin and shame. It is a movement that propels our lives forward. How my soul is thankful that He paid my debt in full, that I may live in freedom. Because of the Cross, I am alive. May every day I live be dedicated to make Him known. |📷: @eringamboa|
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Today is the day. Today Hope Movement closes. Six years. We flipping did this for six years. We were ...
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Today is the day. Today Hope Movement closes. Six years. We flipping did this for six years. We were babies when we started. @rachelmorris1990 had a dream that @anna_howlett shared and together they got a bunch of teenagers and twenty somethings to rally around a single mission: to bring ... Today is the day. Today Hope Movement closes. Six years. We flipping did this for six years. We were babies when we started. @rachelmorris1990 had a dream that @anna_howlett shared and together they got a bunch of teenagers and twenty somethings to rally around a single mission: to bring hope to people who struggled the way we once did. To create a safe place for them to go and find help when the very notion of it seemed too overwhelming and difficult. .
This wasn’t easy. Beyond the brand and the message that people cling on to and ran with, I know the tears and prayers and sweat and pain that went into making this happen. And i know that, for me, it was worth it. Because people told us they chose to stay alive because of a Facebook post. Because people I barely knew poured their heart out in blogs and allowed me to edit them and create something beautiful. Because people found the Find Help database and actually used it. Because by the grace of God, this team educated a generation of young people in Geelong - both in and out of churches - that it’s okay to struggle and it’s okay to ask for help.
(Continued below...) .
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#mentalhealth #hopemovement #hopemovementau #heal #selfworth #enough #depression #anxiety #recovery #hope #strength #mentalillness #community #story #graphic #paint #charity #nonprofit #suicideprevention
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// stress: known as the silent killer, can increase the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, ...
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// stress: known as the silent killer, can increase the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, chest pain, irregular heartbeat, inflammation, and much more. Stress can cause acne flare ups and increase the stress hormone cortisol, which causes abdominal fat to accumulate. Stress ... // stress: known as the silent killer, can increase the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, chest pain, irregular heartbeat, inflammation, and much more. Stress can cause acne flare ups and increase the stress hormone cortisol, which causes abdominal fat to accumulate. Stress can weaken the immune system, worsen the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome, and cause fluctuations in blood sugar levels, resulting in mood swings, fatigue, hyperglycaemia and metabolic syndrome. Stress kills. When you’re feeling stressed, don’t just push it off. Take care of yourself. Life can get overwhelming. Laughing lowers stress hormones and strengthens the immune system by releasing health-enhancing hormones. Go for a walk outdoors. Drink a cup of tea. Get as much sleep as you can. Call a friend. Watch a funny movie or show on Netflix. Colour in a colouring book. Do anything to help yourself by lowering your stress levels. It’s a lot easier than it sounds, I know, but do what you need to do to take care of yourself today 💜
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"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite ...
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"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." - Christopher Reeve To Andy, who always keeps a big smile close by in case of his family needing some comfort and love. As a father, you go above and beyond. As a human, ... "I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." - Christopher Reeve

To Andy, who always keeps a big smile close by in case of his family needing some comfort and love. As a father, you go above and beyond. As a human, we are forever in your debt for the inspiration that you give us.
You are a hero.

To Jenny, who without a doubt walks through fire and flames for the sake of her family. The backbone in a family concisting of pure heart, you are never short of love and support.
You are a hero.
To Dakota, who keeps her mother and father above the surface when life hits you all the hardest.
The unconditional love that you have for your brother is unseen and your spirit shines bright when needed the most.
You are a hero.

And to Jayden...
You have faced illness. You have faced agony. And you have faced pain.
But never once have your family strayed away from your side. That is because they love you and they will never stop fighting for you.
But it is also because of what you give them.
You give them joy and bring them smiles. You make them laugh and feel loved. Every day with you is a good day.
You, Jayden, are their hero.
And ours.
We of the Bearded Villains salute you.
We stand beside you. We are with you. ❤

#laughteristhebestmedicine
#JaydensJourney
@beardedhumor
@mr_beanmobile
@singerdesigns
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"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite ...
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"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." - Christopher Reeve To Andy, who always keeps a big smile close by in case of his family needing some comfort and love. As a father, you go above and beyond. As a human, ... "I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." - Christopher Reeve

To Andy, who always keeps a big smile close by in case of his family needing some comfort and love. As a father, you go above and beyond. As a human, we are forever in your debt for the inspiration that you give us.
You are a hero.

To Jenny, who without a doubt walks through fire and flames for the sake of her family. The backbone in a family concisting of pure heart, you are never short of love and support.
You are a hero.
To Dakota, who keeps her mother and father above the surface when life hits you all the hardest.
The unconditional love that you have for your brother is unseen and your spirit shines bright when needed the most.
You are a hero.

And to Jayden...
You have faced illness. You have faced agony. And you have faced pain.
But never once have your family strayed away from your side. That is because they love you and they will never stop fighting for you.
But it is also because of what you give them.
You give them joy and bring them smiles. You make them laugh and feel loved. Every day with you is a good day. You, Jayden, are their hero.
And ours.
We of the Bearded Villains salute you.
We stand beside you. We are with you. ❤

#laughteristhebestmedicine
#JaydensJourney
@beardedhumor
@mr_beanmobile
@singerdesigns
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Two lives, two losses, and one meeting that changed their lives forever. Learning to move on and ...
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Two lives, two losses, and one meeting that changed their lives forever. Learning to move on and love again isn’t always easy. The circle of life. It’s something we all know about but are never truly prepared for the unexpected. The unexpected that comes out of nowhere. No warning, no heads ... Two lives, two losses, and one meeting that changed their lives forever. Learning to move on and love again isn’t always easy.

The circle of life. It’s something we all know about but are never truly prepared for the unexpected. The unexpected that comes out of nowhere. No warning, no heads up, nothing. Just God giving us pure bliss and happiness and then taking it away in the blink of an eye. When you think of people dying, you think of the old who have fully lived their lives. You don’t think about the younger people who have just begun to build their futures, nor do you think about the children that have just begun to live. It’s cruel and it’s unwanted. It leaves us devastated and to the point where we feel we can’t go on. It leaves a hole, an empty space in our hearts that stays with us until we heal. We all heal eventually, right? As the days go on and the years pass by, we never forget the ones we lost and we never forget the pain they left behind. But we do manage to feel somewhat normal again – maybe not completely – but we have no choice. For me, losing my husband to a massive heart attack on our one-year wedding anniversary, and at the age of twenty-seven, was something I didn’t think I could ever heal from. The emptiness, the loneliness, the numbness, and the need just to get through the day was overwhelming. My name is Paisley Logan and this is my story.

Life. Full of surprises, disappointments, and heartache. It’s strange how we live life with certainty. We’re certain that we’ll find the love of our life, get married, have children, and live happily ever after. No one is ever prepared when a life-threatening illness hits. We’re so busy living our daily lives that we don’t think about such things. I was naïve until my wife was diagnosed with cervical cancer and passed away less than a year later. I was angry. She was the love of my life and we’d only been married five years. We wanted to start a family, and it was when she had trouble getting pregnant that she was diagnosed. I’d never lost anyone before. I’d never experienced death. I felt like God was playing a cruel joke on me. How could he bring her into my life and then take her away so young.
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<span class="emoji emoji1f49b"></span>Martin 206<span class="emoji emoji1f49b"></span> . God is so good!! It's only been 2 weeks and already we have seen God do miraculous ...
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Martin 206 . God is so good!! It's only been 2 weeks and already we have seen God do miraculous things for us as a room and for us as individuals! From jobs to personal prayer requests, we have been able to see first hand what God will do for us when we are seeking Him🏻 . •••Psalm 27:13 "I had ... 💛Martin 206💛 .

God is so good!! It's only been 2 weeks and already we have seen God do miraculous things for us as a room and for us as individuals! From jobs to personal prayer requests, we have been able to see first hand what God will do for us when we are seeking Him🙌🏻 .
•••Psalm 27:13 "I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living."••• .
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Through the busyness of each of our lives I pray that we always will remember the amazing truth of this verse! Life gets hard, life is unfair, life will be overwhelming; but through it > a l l < God is good! How do we not faint? Our focus must always stay on Jesus and His goodness to us! . .
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I NEED JESUS
June 2, 2017, 6:58 pm . •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• . "Oh This life is full of trouble
And my heart is full of pain.
Too often I stumble
And lose sight of the way
But Jesus keeps on loving me
all my days!
He covers me in mercy
And loves me with His amazing grace! ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I need Jesus!
He is my all.
Oh I need Jesus!
He'll catch me when I fall.
Oh I need Jesus!
He's my beginning and my end!
Oh I need Jesus,
My Saviour and my friend! . ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Well I get weary on this journey,
I gripe and complain.
My problems grow heavy
I can't see through this pain -
But when my focus finds Jesus
Once again,
He shows me that He's leading-
And that He's holding my hand! .
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• I need Jesus!
He is my all.
I need Jesus!
He'll catch me when I fall.
Oh I need Jesus!
He's my beginning and my end.
Oh I need Jesus,
My Saviour and my friend! ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••(TAG)
I want to live in righteousness
That I may glorify His name!
I long to be revived again
By the One who's without blame! ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• I need Jesus
He is my all.
I need Jesus
He'll catch me when I fall.
Oh I need Jesus
He's my beginning and my end.
Oh I need Jesus,
My Saviour and my friend!" .
#martin206 #songwriter #SongbyDea #IneedJesus
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Allow me to share: This is my go to book when my heart is feeling anxious. Today im see the cardiothoracic ...
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Allow me to share: This is my go to book when my heart is feeling anxious. Today im see the cardiothoracic surgeon to discuss my upcoming surgery. A couple weeks ago I was dignosed with histiocytosis, a very rear form of cell cancer thats is basically trapped in my ribs.Ive been in and out of the ... Allow me to share: This is my go to book when my heart is feeling anxious. Today im see the cardiothoracic surgeon to discuss my upcoming surgery. A couple weeks ago I was dignosed with histiocytosis, a very rear form of cell cancer thats is basically trapped in my ribs.Ive been in and out of the hospital dealing with unbearable pain, sometimes ready to give up but this book always brings me back to solid ground and to hold on to God's love and light. I begun my spiritual journey since 2012 and the miracles ive seen would amaze you!!!, yoga have been a word constantly coming up on my spiritual journey and just never did it..yoga means so much more to me than "hey I can do this pose", its one of my way of communication to God and the universe and to reveal a little more of who I am.It wasn't until this past Tuesday I really acknowledged the fact that I have cancer,, I was in my yoga session, stretching and I felt this overwhelming feeling of peace as my pain melted away, I were in tears and afraid of creating too much attention to myself as I continued.I created this page to meet others who uses this practice to connect more with Love because after all Love is the only thing thats Real ..:) #childofGod #yoga #histiocytosis #cancer #mindbodysoul
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Today my heart is heavy thinking of the burdens of this world. The pain and brokenness my friends ...
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Today my heart is heavy thinking of the burdens of this world. The pain and brokenness my friends and family are experiencing on a daily basis can sometimes feel overwhelming. Maybe you yourself are going through a season of hurt. Feeling an overwhelming pain that you think, no one could understand ... Today my heart is heavy thinking of the burdens of this world. The pain and brokenness my friends and family are experiencing on a daily basis can sometimes feel overwhelming. Maybe you yourself are going through a season of hurt. Feeling an overwhelming pain that you think, no one could understand it. Or that no one could love you if they knew the truth. But I have hope for you. There is a peace that surpasses understanding and a hope that your future will get better. There is a love that wants to encounter you in the darkest days of your life. That hope is Jesus Christ. He died on the cross to get you through any sorrow or any storm this world tries to throw at us. Jesus is the only peace and hope I know that gets me through the deepest of pains. If you are in need of hope, come lay your burdens down at the cross. Come and see that there is a hope and peace waiting for you. Jesus is calling you. Join us April 1st at the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence 1030AM Or live-streamed around the globe AwakeningEaster.com #Hopeishere #ComeAsYouAre #thebestisyettocome #easteratthedunk
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Did you know that you can achieve any goal you want with little or no stress? With more than enough ...
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Did you know that you can achieve any goal you want with little or no stress? With more than enough sleep? With time off, and even have time for binge watching your favorite show? . There is a mentality out there of "Crushing It" - which just by the two words put together doesn't look or sound ... Did you know that you can achieve any goal you want with little or no stress? With more than enough sleep? With time off, and even have time for binge watching your favorite show?
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There is a mentality out there of "Crushing It" - which just by the two words put together doesn't look or sound like anything you would want to do to your dreams, goals or life.
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Think about it... "Crushing your dreams" or "Crushing your goals" or "Crushing your business?" how do you feel when you see or hear those words?
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Webster's defines the word crush in a couple ways:
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1. To squeeze or force by pressure so as to alter or destroy a structure.
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2. To cause overwhelming emotional pain.
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In the last few years, I've heard more and more people talk about and even brag about "crushing their goals/dreams/whatever" - and I cringe.
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Why?
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Because the "Crush It" mentality is a widget based approach to creating success in your life that only ends up creating burnout and overwhelming anxiety/depression responses to that stress.
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A dear friend/mentor of mine, @jodysherman, who was an amazing entrepreneur, took his own life a few years back. My heart was shattered. To this day, I still can't believe he's gone.
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I don't know the full story, but I know Jody was under tremendous stress from his start-up, Eco Mom, He had substance abuse (and most likely unresolved trauma) response to all that stress.
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One day, I woke up and @techcrunch reported his death and I found out it was a suicide and I was devastated.
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Jody was so giving. At his funeral, so many entrepreneurs, VC's and start-up founders came out. I was stunned at his reach, impact and level of giving.
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But the one person Jody didn't give to was himself.
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The best high-performance work you can do to achieve, excel, disrupt and put a dent in the Universe is to heal the parts of yourself that feel like you need to "crush it".
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And, then focus on aligning with your Purpose.
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When you heal your root cause trauma & align with a Purpose, you are guided and supported by far more unseen support than you could ever imagine.
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And you will achieve far more than you ever imagined you could back when you were just "crushing it".
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Trapped, I’m suffocating, I am in need of desperate saving, I know change starts within my self, ...
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Trapped, I’m suffocating, I am in need of desperate saving, I know change starts within my self, but things are getting overwhelming, I’m in need of dire help. Tell me I’m not alone, I beg you please just say anything, tell me happiness will begin, tell me that I’ll be able to breathe again and ... Trapped, I’m suffocating, I am in need of desperate saving, I know change starts within my self, but things are getting overwhelming, I’m in need of dire help. Tell me I’m not alone, I beg you please just say anything, tell me happiness will begin, tell me that I’ll be able to breathe again and stop suffocating, this sadness has taken over and the pain is dominating, life has become something I’m completely hating, the feelings that I feel daily are irritating. I can feel my heart breaking, my body feels bruised and everything is aching, every time this happens I don’t think I’m going to make it, the life inside of me is completely depreciating, my body is deteriorating, I have had enough please save me because they’re coming, i’ll be waiting. // #nowthatshelladeep #writersofinstagram
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And while we’re in the beautiful blooms subject, check out the most gorgeous bunch I have ever received ...
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And while we’re in the beautiful blooms subject, check out the most gorgeous bunch I have ever received from my loveliest friend @shatee2, one of the sweetest hearts I’ve ever encountered. These were surprisingly sent to my door after I came back from a minor surgery. I remembered specifically ... And while we’re in the beautiful blooms subject, check out the most gorgeous bunch I have ever received from my loveliest friend @shatee2, one of the sweetest hearts I’ve ever encountered.
These were surprisingly sent to my door after I came back from a minor surgery. I remembered specifically asking my husband right before surgery to buy me a lot of flowers to help me during recovery, and we did, and we filled our house with it.
But two days after I got out of the hospital, when my husband brought these inside my room, with a sweet, thoughtful note and the prettiest looking pyramid chocolates, I felt all these overwhelming sense of happiness and energy just surging right through me. I felt so loved and alive that I told my husband, “I think my flowers cured me.” And I got up for the first time in two days, started playing my old records, and walked around the house, (like a granny ‘cause I’m still in a bit of pain) carrying my flowers with me, with the biggest smile on my face.
It’s amazing what flowers can do for you and your soul, and I will love you forever for it, Shae. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. 🌸🌸🌸
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What a weekend... this Monday I feel I need to post for us both! Grief and Loss took me ..and it’s taken ...
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What a weekend... this Monday I feel I need to post for us both! Grief and Loss took me ..and it’s taken me a lot of soul searching and processing to not only find myself but to also decide I am going to help others daily process their grief,...It can be heavy & overwhelming! Yet, I know that if there ... What a weekend... this Monday I feel I need to post for us both! Grief and Loss took me ..and it’s taken me a lot of soul searching and processing to not only find myself but to also decide I am going to help others daily process their grief,...It can be heavy & overwhelming!
Yet, I know that if there were a “code” for Grief - I’ve cracked it, I know how to guide someone to find their way & to LIVE! Truly, madly, deeply live life all while honoring the love that is infinite♥️
I have been reminded, I’ll take it as a sign from God I cannot water the flower without having the water to do so. I must replenish. I have to realign my priorities & what’s important. After God, my family (aka my friends) is After Chloe which represents you! Yup, YOU. I want to encourage some action today or this coming week.
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Don’t forget to be still. In all the grief there’s a lot of physical activity .. crying, the anxiety/ the restlessness- it’s hard to be still, so try to be still 1 minute at a time. And then 2 and so on- up to 25 minutes a day - get still - concentrate on your breathing,put down the phone & get still.
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Find laughter. Now I know you may be thinking - After Chloe are you ok? Yes, actually I am 😂- you bed to laugh. Find a way but do it! it’s clearing your mind & heart even if for only a moment.
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As @nike says all the time - “Just Do it” - go on the trip, use the good plates, wear the heels, wear the flip flops, dye your hair, get the tattoo, just go for it ... we live in this fear with grief and loss and time is ticking - go and live. 💛
Now, most importantly seek God - the divinity within you - know that this relationship will guide and hold you - pray, meditate do what you need to do but do it.
These steps will propel you to start making yourself the first priority and to find you after the loss.. listen when we talk about grief and loss - you want a quick fix, you want a remedy or medication for the pain -but you’ve got to do the work. If you actively work on living life, you will still hurt and miss your loved one. But living is the GREATEST HONOR to the love that remains -let me know in the comments what action you’ll take today/this week??
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[2 PARTS. READ COMMENTS FOR THE WHOLE STORY] - I always thought I had a story to tell I just never ...
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[2 PARTS. READ COMMENTS FOR THE WHOLE STORY] - I always thought I had a story to tell I just never knew how to tell it. My grammar is embarrassing and sometimes my thoughts are fragments one minute and run ons the next. Nonetheless I still had this overwhelming urge to write. If I could just put ... [2 PARTS. READ COMMENTS FOR THE WHOLE STORY]
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I always thought I had a story to tell I just never knew how to tell it. My grammar is embarrassing and sometimes my thoughts are fragments one minute and run ons the next. Nonetheless I still had this overwhelming urge to write. If I could just put pen to the paper then maybe it would be enough. It wasn't. I sucked. Easily distracted by the smallest things. I used anything as an excuses not to write. The house was to dirty. I had to much work to catch up on. It's to nice of a day to stay inside and the park doesn't have the wifi I need. When I did put all those things aside and really force myself to write, for the most part it was pretty good but painstakingly long and tedious. It seemed it took me hours to write one tiny messy paragraph. I wasn't prepared for that. I’ve always loved reading and never once stopped to think about the pain that when into those words. I felt like I was bleeding with every syllable. Poring my heart out was challenging. The thought of opening up made me nauseous.
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BIRTH STORY Part 4: Then all of a sudden I just remember having to go to emergency as my placenta was ...
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BIRTH STORY Part 4: Then all of a sudden I just remember having to go to emergency as my placenta was stuck and the last thing I saw was Lukey holding his son for the first time and that overwhelming amount of love rushed thru me once again but with the most heaviest heart as if I didn’t do it right. ... BIRTH STORY Part 4:
Then all of a sudden I just remember having to go to emergency as my placenta was stuck and the last thing I saw was Lukey holding his son for the first time and that overwhelming amount of love rushed thru me once again but with the most heaviest heart as if I didn’t do it right. I felt so ashamed, like I had let all of us down. It wasn’t meant to be this way.
From their it’s also a blur as I got heavily medicated and I just remember looking up on the sterile celling and was numb, physically, emotionally it was by far one of my lowest moments and I was alone.
Yet before I knew it I was placenta free and back holding my baby with all my beautiful girls, family, friends and husband as we said our sweet hellos and painful goodbyes.
The life of a bereaved mother isn’t easy it is full of ups and downs with so many questions and no answers. I didn’t think it could be possible to be filled with so much love and pain at the same time.
Happy first birthday my little man. May your spirit be free from all suffering stay close to Luna always and may we met again all together someday.
I love you.
To a mothers love so great.
#Atlas #happybirthday #stillborn #stillbirth #littlelife #notalittleloss
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As mentioned earlier this week, due to the overwhelming amount of request for care packages, I have ...
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As mentioned earlier this week, due to the overwhelming amount of request for care packages, I have decided to change the process in which I send them. Im so grateful that so many of you are willing to help me with these. It truly brings peace to my heart that we are finally taking the time to acknowledge ... As mentioned earlier this week, due to the overwhelming amount of request for care packages, I have decided to change the process in which I send them. Im so grateful that so many of you are willing to help me with these. It truly brings peace to my heart that we are finally taking the time to acknowledge the mommas going through this heart aching pain, as most of you know when we went through our loss, I had very few people willing to be there for me, for the most part I grieved alone. My purpose is to let mommas know that they are not alone, I am with them in their pain, a pain I take to heart. Most important please know every loss is hard, not one loss is easier than the other. May you know that we would love to give everyone a package, however my packages are based on my sales and sometimes whatever extra Andres and I have, we truly give as much as we can, but we are regular people, with humble jobs, so please understand that if we haven’t gotten to you yet, it’s only because we are waiting for our Lord to provide. Also, many of you have asked me how you can help- I don’t take monetary donations because I am not a non for profit, to establish a non for profits is expensive and time consuming non of which we have at this point. But, if you would like to contribute to my care packages... there’s a couple of things I like to include, that take most of our money-they are specific books and restaurants gift cards, I like to include these as these give them something to do in a time where you have no clue what to do next or even how to live. So if you would like to contribute in that way please message me or email me I will give you the details. Also, if you are a crafter and would like to include your craft in our package please reach out to me. Lastly, I have created this email address [email protected] this will be the way I take requests for care packages from here on out. If you, a family member or friend has gone through any type of child loss you can email me your story, name of the momma, child’s name (if any), address, and Instagram page if any. #BrokenMariposasFly
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My heart is open WIDE open I feel so seen that at times I wanna close it just for a moment... Everyone ...
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My heart is open WIDE open I feel so seen that at times I wanna close it just for a moment... Everyone is looking at you. They are judging every movement of yours Hide Hide I will shelter you from all that Pain... It can be too much for a kid. I am here for you he said. Wait... I know you… I have ... My heart is open WIDE open
I feel so seen that at times I wanna close it just for a moment... Everyone is looking at you.
They are judging every movement of yours
Hide Hide I will shelter you from all that Pain... It can be too much for a kid.
I am here for you he said.

Wait... I know you…
I have heard this voice before.

Childhood
I felt so much I felt it all
It was so overwhelming.
I hated myself for feeling so much.

A gift was given to me years ago… It was my heart.

I felt different but didn’t wanna feel different.
I just wanted to belong wanted to be like everyone else.
My wanting to be like everyone else was my suffering.
I was a kid and I felt an awful lot.

A gift was given to me years ago… It was my heart.

I will shelter you I will take the pain away.
But where will you take The pain?
I will find a dark corner & just place it there.No one will know… With time not even you.
The walls & The Masks
Where are you? I need you... today was hard I felt an awful lot.
As always he was there.
Don’t worry he says I’ll build the wall stronger for you & here take a new mask to play with kid.

Today
Unplugged wanting more I search within.
I kick something in the dark... what is it?
A box wrapped like a gift.
Covered with dirt and dust... very strange I say to myself.

I walk away... but then a voice deep deep inside says kid Open me find me don’t be afraid.The voice was so different so loving so inviting.

I was afraid what I will find inside... but I also was very curious.
I wipe the dust off a bit & all the sudden this bright light explodes from within.

Light covers the whole room &
then goes just like it came.

I wanted more of that feeling... It took away all the suffering without hiding it.
It was accepting & understanding.
It loved me for me even tho it saw all my wounds.
I felt all my wounds being touched... it was raw & painful but I kept breathing and allowing it to touch me.

I didn’t run away it was just there loving me even more.

Healing was the feeling... I felt beautiful.

A gift was given to me many years ago...
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Symptoms of an anxiety attack can include: • A feeling of overwhelming fear • Feeling of going ...
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Symptoms of an anxiety attack can include: • A feeling of overwhelming fear • Feeling of going crazy or losing control • Feeling you are in grave danger • Feeling you might pass out • A surge of doom and gloom • An urgency to escape • Dizziness • Heart Palpitations • Trembling • Sweating ... Symptoms of an anxiety attack can include: • A feeling of overwhelming fear • Feeling of going crazy or losing control • Feeling you are in grave danger • Feeling you might pass out • A surge of doom and gloom • An urgency to escape • Dizziness • Heart Palpitations • Trembling • Sweating • Shortness of breath • Chest pressure or pain • Turning pale • Feeling detached from reality • Weak in the knees • Burning skin • Pins and needles • Hot and cold flushes • Numbness and tingling sensations

The above anxiety attack symptoms can be accompanied by: • Choking sensation, tightening throat, it feels like your throat is closing, it feels like something is stuck in your throat • Confusion • Depersonalization (feeling detached from reality, separate from one-self, separate from normal emotions) • Derealization (feeling unreal, in a dream-like state) • Dizziness, lightheadedness, unsteadiness • Emotional distress • Emotional upset • Inability to calm yourself down • Knot in the stomach, tight stomach • Nausea • Panicky feeling • Pounding, racing heart • Butterflies in the stomach • Sudden urge to go to the bathroom (urinate, defecate) • Vomiting • Feel like crying
This list is not exhaustive. As you can see, there are many physical, psychological, and emotional signs and symptoms of anxiety attacks.

each body is somewhat chemically unique, anxiety attacks can affect each person differently. Consequently, anxiety attack symptoms can vary from person to person in type or kind, number, intensity, duration, and frequency. If your symptoms don’t exactly match this list, that doesn’t mean you don’t have anxiety attacks. It simply means that your body is responding to them slightly differently.
Listen to your body. And start taking care of it. We only have one. Eat well-balanced meals. Get plenty of sleep, especially when you are stressed. Exercise every day to feel good and stay healthy.
God bless
#selfaware #anxiety
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ever have those days you wish were a dream? yesterday we found out we didn’t get (yet another) house ...
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ever have those days you wish were a dream? yesterday we found out we didn’t get (yet another) house we applied for. (this is the 3rd or 4th we’ve found, loved, & lost. can you lose what you haven’t had? i know i know, it’s not meant to be..but I’m tired of trying & trying & being reminded of that ... ever have those days you wish were a dream?
yesterday we found out we didn’t get (yet another) house we applied for. (this is the 3rd or 4th we’ve found, loved, & lost. can you lose what you haven’t had? i know i know, it’s not meant to be..but I’m tired of trying & trying & being reminded of that over & over!😫🙈) on top of that, i‘d been stressing about events coming up, the busy-ness, & overwhelming amount of to-do’s.
most importantly, we had a crazy heat wave, in a house with no AC- not usually a problem here in SoCal- it got unbearably hot, so we tried to go to the beach to cool down but noticed Violet wasn’t her normal self.
we went to the hospital which ended up being the right choice because she vomited on the way there, & multiple times after arriving.
she received her very first IV. so proud of her bravery, she handled it all so well. they gave her fluids, anti nausea meds, drew blood to test for infections/etc (all came back normal, thank goodness 🙏🏼) [moral of the story is] i share this, not to be negative, complain, or throw a pity party, but to say: there’s nothing like something happening to someone you love to jolt you back into the present moment, remind you what’s truly important, & reiterate just how temporary/ impermanent this life is.
all of those other things are minor details (petty even, in comparison), this is the stuff that really matters. “hold your dear ones close.” receiving this message loud & clear from the universe. 🙏🏼 not a single moment should be taken for granted.
I can’t help but feel like my heartache should be dismissed, or isn’t worth talking about, because i know she is going to be fine & that this is nothing; this is a speck in the ocean compared to the dire circumstances some people are faced with.
but when you’re a mother, you empathize for every ounce of pain of your child experiences, feel it as your own, & it always seems like the end of the world.
my heart goes out to those who endure the heartbreak of seeing loved ones in pain. these sort of situations make you feel utterly helpless. which as a parent, i think, is one of the hardest things to feel. 💖
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<span class="emoji emoji1f339"></span>Turn To Allah <span class="emoji emoji1f339"></span> When your life is in the darkness, when you are through the ocean of this life, when ...
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Turn To Allah When your life is in the darkness, when you are through the ocean of this life, when life is overwhelming you, when there's pain deep down the heart, when your heart feels heavy, when pain makes you fall, when the road seems long, when there's no way out, when your life seems like ... 🌹Turn To Allah 🌹
When your life is in the darkness, when you are through the ocean of this life, when life is overwhelming you, when there's pain deep down the heart, when your heart feels heavy, when pain makes you fall, when the road seems long, when there's no way out, when your life seems like a mess, when things are down, when nothing makes sense, when times are troubled, when happiness turns into sadness, when heart is breaking, when your scars are hurting, when you are stuck in a situation, when you feel alone, when grief fills your heart, when you feel broken, when your heart is emptied out, when you can no longer bear the burdens, when you feel like this is the end

Then this is the moment you should turn to Allah, the All- Hearing. He knows the pain you go through, your flowing tears, your quite momemts, your deepest emotions, hears every unspoken word, sees every unseen wound, mends every unbearable pain, listens to your unspoken prayers, sees your heart breaking He is the light through the darkness, the kind, the wise, the fair, the able, the greatest, the only guide.
Always remember you are stronger and braver, because Allah is always with you, no matter what the circumstances are!! #islamicintelligencereminders ❤️
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// real talk // Well hi, guys! It’s been a while since one of these. Today is certainly the day for ...
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// real talk // Well hi, guys! It’s been a while since one of these. Today is certainly the day for it. You know when life just gets so insanely overwhelming and you feel like the entire world is against you and NOTHING is going to get better, no matter how much meditation, yoga, mantras, self ... // real talk //
Well hi, guys! It’s been a while since one of these. Today is certainly the day for it.
You know when life just gets so insanely overwhelming and you feel like the entire world is against you and NOTHING is going to get better, no matter how much meditation, yoga, mantras, self help books, motivational speeches you take on? 😳 No? Just me?
Well, yesterday and this morning was certainly that for this wild hearted woman. I woke up feeling the most intense heartache and physical chest pain. I got to that point of “surrendering”, and wow. What an unexpected and insanely beautiful response I received from the great divine. I was literally on my knees, and suddenly felt the most overwhelming sense of love. Of gratitude and comfort. In breaking down, I broke open and through. I can’t tell you all how important it is to listen to your body. To listen to your beautiful heart and all of the incredible things it feels (pain included). And even to reach out during these times to loved ones, because it can make all the difference in the world. We are not alone. To surrender is to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable is to be the strongest version of YOU.
My day proceeded to having the most beautiful souls in my presence. Receiving the most love and uplifting energy. Letting them know my current struggles and given such empathy and encouragement. THAT is true human connection. And it’s certainly rare, so do not dismiss those in your life who give you that feeling, and be sure to give it in return.
With all of this being said, I just wanted to express my gratitude for all of you beautiful humans out there and for this earth who carries and loves me so unconditionally. Spreading love and light. ♥️✨ Photos by @benandjoella from the beautiful solar eclipse one year ago🙏🏼
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Foster Care Update: We have fostered five beautiful children this year so far and it has been such ...
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Foster Care Update: We have fostered five beautiful children this year so far and it has been such a growing experience. There has been tears, love, pain, lots of hard work, growth, steps backward, ten leaps forward. Laughter, bonding. Uncertainty, stress, clarity, joy. An overwhelming ... Foster Care Update: We have fostered five beautiful children this year so far and it has been such a growing experience. There has been tears, love, pain, lots of hard work, growth, steps backward, ten leaps forward. Laughter, bonding. Uncertainty, stress, clarity, joy. An overwhelming sense of purpose. 🌿

Our last two girls were returned home, we are overjoyed for them. We now await a call for a new placement. We still hope to adopt siblings, but it isn't because WE need to adopt them. We love having a big family and a house full of kids & chaos. But our ultimate goal for adoption is to take in a set of siblings that would face separation and face never getting a permanent home together. They need a family. We want to be there for them, not them being there for us. We've had kids that didn't stay and everyone asks, how are our hearts after they have left? 🌿

Our hearts are strong. Our hearts will be okay no matter what, because our hearts missing children, is nothing compared to children missing a home, safety and love. Especially after the damage and loss they undeservingly experienced. If my heart breaks 50 times over missing 50 children during my lifetime, I shall call myself a lucky woman. Because what a gift to have been able to love and care for these precious children in need. My heart can take a loss. Theirs cannot take being displaced and not having a safe home. So until a set of siblings that needs adoption comes our way, we are here to take in children that need us for however long they need us. Maybe that's for one day, one week, one month, one year... it doesn't matter to us the length of the stay. It just matters that they have a place they can be safe, loved unconditionally, encouraged, supported and taken care of for however long is asked of us. 🌿

We miss each child very much, I see a piece of clothing left behind, a toy, or I hear their favorite song and it can take you by surprise how much you miss them and the ache that creeps into your heart. But again, we are the strong adults, and I'll take an achy heart any day of the week if it ensures that child gets the love and care they so desperately deserve. 🌿 ❤️We are the lucky ones.❤️
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<span class="emoji emoji1f6a8"></span><span class="emoji emoji1f6a8"></span>Warning. Long, emotional post that I will most likely have a vulnerability hangover from - it's ...
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Warning. Long, emotional post that I will most likely have a vulnerability hangover from - it's a thing. Ask @brenebrown. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Man, this picture. The other day I was inspired by @jengotch and her post of where she use to be vs. now. I know many people might not see this post because ... 🚨🚨Warning. Long, emotional post that I will most likely have a vulnerability hangover from - it's a thing. Ask @brenebrown.🚨🚨
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Man, this picture. The other day I was inspired by @jengotch and her post of where she use to be vs. now. I know many people might not see this post because it 12am and the algorithm is frustrating, but it has been heavy on my heart to share. I was scrolling through my own feed the other day and thought, "Man, my life (cough feed) looks good from the outside."
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And it is...getting married, total peace, things people dream of..blah blah blah.
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But this. It has been heavy on my heart to show you this. I want you to see this picture because this season of life was where @thecultivatedheart was born. I remember exactly where I was when I took this picture. I specifically did it so I would remember how much my heart physically hurt. How incredibly broken, sad and lonely I felt. I had made the most painful decision and looking back I was truly experiencing grief and the wave of emotion it can have on your soul. It was overwhelming. The other day I was searching for pictures and found old messages which instantly triggered the question of HOW. How did I make it through that season? How is my heart, mind and spirit in the place where they are now? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Life is messy AF. I believe in focusing on the good, but the doesn't mean sugar coating the bad. Hard decisions will take place. Your heart will break. Disappointment will overwhelm you. But through the peaks and the valleys, it's important to know, the valley will shape you. So don’t resist the pain, but let it wash over you and hurt for as long as you need before you begin you climb out. Because you will climb out and you will look back and truly be amazed that you made it through that deep of a valley.
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This little boy almost didn’t happen. About 4 years ago, I sat at a cold kitchen counter in an empty ...
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This little boy almost didn’t happen. About 4 years ago, I sat at a cold kitchen counter in an empty house with my forehead face down on the marble trying to decide if I should stay in my marriage. I had just learned devastating news, and I sat at a crossroads: either try to mend what was broken or ... This little boy almost didn’t happen. About 4 years ago, I sat at a cold kitchen counter in an empty house with my forehead face down on the marble trying to decide if I should stay in my marriage. I had just learned devastating news, and I sat at a crossroads: either try to mend what was broken or walk away. I had gone for a run to clear my head, but the emotions were too overwhelming. I didn’t know what to do, and so I prayed one of those last ditch prayers not really confident I would get an answer. But, I did. “If he wants to mend the marriage too I want you to try,” said God to my heart and soul. I can’t explain it, but I knew it was Him & what He was asking. So, that’s what we did. He wanted “us” back, & so we started the road to recovery & restoration. Sadly, as you know, it wasn’t restored, & 4 years later I am alone on this couch writing this. I could easily look back at that moment & question whether God really said that to me or be angry as to why God called me to do something that would fail and cause me more pain. But the answer is in this picture. I wouldn’t have Levi. The blessing of a child, of a son. I also wouldn’t have personal recovery & healing that counseling has led me to. And, I wouldn’t be able to say I did everything I could if I had walked away that day. There’s nothing wasted in trying to restore something or someone, & who knows you may get a gift like Levi that blesses you far beyond the pain you endure. Don’t be afraid. 💛 // Levi, you have a lion’s heart. It devours me. When you hug you give it everything. Uninhibited, completely focused on one thing at a time whether that be throwing a ball as hard as you can, running as fast as you can, screaming as loud as you can, and loving as big as you can. You are pure passion. You are a force when you are angry 😬, but when you are happy (most of the time) you are incandescently so. God is surely doing something new with you. Have a great first day of 3’s class at preschool tomorrow! 💛 Mom
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i have never felt so invincible and vulnerable in my life. i am weeks away from welcoming my second ...
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i have never felt so invincible and vulnerable in my life. i am weeks away from welcoming my second baby. i am days away from entering into my last year before 40. i am terrified of giving birth again. i don’t know if i’m up for all the challenges that lie ahead. i have dreamed of being in this exact ... i have never felt so invincible and vulnerable in my life. i am weeks away from welcoming my second baby. i am days away from entering into my last year before 40. i am terrified of giving birth again. i don’t know if i’m up for all the challenges that lie ahead. i have dreamed of being in this exact place my entire life. i am the most grateful and scared i’ve ever been. i thought i would have it all together by 39 but i’m realizing that i may never feel like i know what i’m doing. being a grownup is complicated and being a good mother can feel overwhelming some (most) days. as each year passes, i am truly beginning to understand that it’s the fleeting flashes of happiness that light up our lives, while the mistakes and failures in between are what make life worth living. there will be pain and struggle and doubts but there will also be beauty and strength and magic too, and all of it, sometimes all at once, is what makes up a whole life. i want to teach my daughter, and this new baby, and most of all myself that it’s ok, and my goal should not be a life without darkness, but rather a life of trusting myself, digging deep, letting go, and choosing to see the light, no matter how vulnerable that makes me feel.
“Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.”
— #debraginsberg
(photo from last month, which i’d forgotten about until plum took my phone during my last checkup and proceeded to show it to my midwife 👍🏼)
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Psalm 147:3 || I have no idea what kind of grief you may be facing in this moment, but trust me, I know ...
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Psalm 147:3 || I have no idea what kind of grief you may be facing in this moment, but trust me, I know the pain. When the pain is overwhelming, we can choose to lose heart or we can choose to remember where our joy is truly anchored. The only safe sacred place where my joy can be securely anchored ... Psalm 147:3 || I have no idea what kind of grief you may be facing in this moment, but trust me, I know the pain. When the pain is overwhelming, we can choose to lose heart or we can choose to remember where our joy is truly anchored. The only safe sacred place where my joy can be securely anchored is in Christ’s eternal, and unconditional love. 
God’s love never wavers, never runs out, and never gives up. No matter what kind of grief you are facing, God’s love will cover you, hold you, and carry you through it. Maybe you can’t understand what’s going on in your life right now, but I know for sure, that God is working in your life at this very moment. Trust in Him, He will get you through it.
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WE’VE HAD THE BIGGEST RESPONSE FOR MASTERHEART EVER! <span class="emoji emoji1f64c"></span>🏻<span class="emoji emoji1f48b"></span> So as a little gift, we’ve extended early ...
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WE’VE HAD THE BIGGEST RESPONSE FOR MASTERHEART EVER! 🏻 So as a little gift, we’ve extended early bird pricing until midnight TONIGHT! . Is Master Heart for you? . 🏻It is if you have addictive cycles that you can’t break…. 🏻Or if you feel like you can’t control your emotional world ... WE’VE HAD THE BIGGEST RESPONSE FOR MASTERHEART EVER! 🙌🏻💋 So as a little gift, we’ve extended early bird pricing until midnight TONIGHT!
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Is Master Heart for you?
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✌🏻It is if you have addictive cycles that you can’t break….
✌🏻Or if you feel like you can’t control your emotional world and it controls you.
✌🏻It’s for those who want to stop passing on their dysfunction to their kids…
✌🏻Or if you feel numb inside and you want to feel joy again.
✌🏻It’s for those of you who have been taught by a religious institution that your heart is evil and bad so you’ve lived up in your head…
✌🏻Or if you can’t feel or hear the Spirit living inside.
For most of my life I was suffering in one way or another. I got good at masking it, hiding it, numbing it out, but underneath all the masks, the pain was so unbearable that my heart had gone numb. 💔
👉🏻Numb to avoid feeling the overwhelming terror inside me that never went away.
👉🏻Numb to avoid feeling the constant insecurity. 👉🏻Numb to try and forget the forever sadness.
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I didn’t understand that pain is inevitable in this bumper-car of a life, however suffering—well, suffering is completely optional.
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There is a way to end the internal suffering, and friend, I long to teach you ways to do this. 💪🏻
Today is the last day to get the early bird pricing, and this is the absolute last time you can get the full 6 weeks of course material, personal coaching, meditations, assignments, and videos for just $99.
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As a classic overachiever, I very genuinely give you thousands and thousands of dollars of content because a) I love you, and b) you’re so so worth it.
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If you’re wondering if MasterHeart is right for you, jump on the live feed where I explain about the course!
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Click the link. Take care of your internal realm. Stop running from your emotions--they’re sending you messages. It’s time you learned to decipher the voice of your wounded soul and let it lead you to the voice of the Spirit waiting within.
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Love you!
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Xx, Christa (click the link to sign up! We also have a couples price because believe me, it’s way easier to have a marriage when you’re trying to find the same page internally!) 💋 📷: @theexplorerdad
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BIRTH STORY Part 3: I was given no choice but to be strong. Having my beautiful women and Lukas in ...
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BIRTH STORY Part 3: I was given no choice but to be strong. Having my beautiful women and Lukas in the room is where I would draw upon my strength. I wasn’t alone. Although in some ways I was. I don’t want to say it wasn’t painful to birth but to be honest the physical pain didn’t bother me it was ... BIRTH STORY Part 3:
I was given no choice but to be strong. Having my beautiful women and Lukas in the room is where I would draw upon my strength. I wasn’t alone. Although in some ways I was.
I don’t want to say it wasn’t painful to birth but to be honest the physical pain didn’t bother me it was my whole body breaking into little pieces knowing we have lost another child. My heart was screaming in pain and no one could hear it.
The labour was only 4 hours long which is really quick considering Luna’s was 24 hours and my baby boy wasn’t helping to give any energy to come out and most of the time was me just trying to push again and again. I can still hear that midwifes voice telling me to push over and over as if I wasn’t pushing! And I still remember in my head going “fuuucckkkk yooou!!” I was so emotionally exhausted yet I have memories of looking around at the loving people around me and it was almost like I was doing it for them, not me. I didn’t want to do it for me, at this point it felt like there was no me.
I could feel him coming and it was so instinctual I remember moving the midwifes hands away when she was trying to pull him out as if I had to do it. With Luna I was so scared. But I don’t know if it was me having to do this again or the love in the room or Atlas energy but I wasn’t scared, I was sad, I was angry and broken but it was me that would be helping my baby out.
And then there was silence.
That dreaded silence had filled the room so quickly, not even one person was breathing. Yet I had the most amazing perfect beautiful boy in my arms.
Once again the overwhelming amount of love and oxytocin rushed over me and I fell deeply deeply in love all over again. Only a mother knows this feeling and it is just so deep, it’s indescribable.
My heart was aching beyond what is even imaginable. How is it possible to be so deeply in love and in such agonizing heart ache at the same time.
Cont....
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Mom, it hurts. It hurts so bad. I know I should move on and live on but this pain is so overwhelming. ...
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Mom, it hurts. It hurts so bad. I know I should move on and live on but this pain is so overwhelming. My heart is broken and my tears keep falling. I miss you so much. Mom, it hurts. It hurts so bad. I know I should move on and live on but this pain is so overwhelming. My heart is broken and my tears keep falling. I miss you so much. 😢😢😢😢
I woke up today with the warm sun on my skin, and for the first time in a long time, felt like the clouds ...
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I woke up today with the warm sun on my skin, and for the first time in a long time, felt like the clouds in my life have parted ways to invite clarity into my mind. Suppose I’m being honest with myself - and I should - that I only started living after making a move to New Zealand. Why I came back, that ... I woke up today with the warm sun on my skin, and for the first time in a long time, felt like the clouds in my life have parted ways to invite clarity into my mind.

Suppose I’m being honest with myself - and I should - that I only started living after making a move to New Zealand. Why I came back, that I’m always asking myself, but I guess I had to continue with the work that was put in my heart. The past 2 years have been incredibly trying, and I’ve been so fearful that I’ve failed to see things the way that they are. That people will always come and go, the sun sets and rises, and that the truth can either haunt you or light up your path to make way for destiny to surprise you.

I’m not sure why I’ve got a well of words flowing from the tip of my tongue at this moment, but I feel some of you reading this might be searching for strength and meaning. A purpose for your lives. Find something that makes You alive, just like how I find myself most alive when the sun hits my skin with grace and tenacity.

All I’m saying is, you could be spending hours in the toilet with a towel over your mouth, tears flowing from overwhelming pain, or staring into blank space with the lights off. But even that shall pass. Imagine the life you’ve always wanted. Learn to say no when it’s needed. Accept that you know only as much as the days of your being. Learn how to search from within. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, and what you should have known better. Not everything is your fault. You have overcome.
In the words of Maya Angelou, ‘There’s a place in you that you must keep inviolate. You must keep it pristine, clean, so that nobody has the right to curse you or treat you badly. Nobody. No father, no mother, no wife, no husband. Nobody. That place may be the place where you go to to meet God. That place - within yourself - has to remain clean and clear.” 🌤❤️
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The night I found out my dad passed away, I dropped down to my knees and started yelling “no” repeatedly. ...
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The night I found out my dad passed away, I dropped down to my knees and started yelling “no” repeatedly. I then crawled to a corner and laid on the floor as my apartment became filled with deep, guttural sobs. I begged, pleaded, and watched my heart shatter all over again—it was unlike any pain ... The night I found out my dad passed away, I dropped down to my knees and started yelling “no” repeatedly. I then crawled to a corner and laid on the floor as my apartment became filled with deep, guttural sobs. I begged, pleaded, and watched my heart shatter all over again—it was unlike any pain I’ve ever known. I never thought it was possible to lay in a puddle of your own tears, but there I did, almost a year and a half ago. The second time it hit me was last father’s day, where I spent many hours sobbing until I was faint. I knew my grief desperately needed an exit, so I let my body release while I buried my face into my dad’s favorite shirt—it still smelled like him. Grief is such a transformative emotion, so powerful, and also the most consuming—at times it feels like it could almost eat you alive. It’s through grief that I’ve learned to heal and thrive, but since my dad passed away, I’ve had a difficult time bringing myself to tears. Being sensitive and easily moved, I used to cry at the drop of a hat (or ASPCA commercial). After the overwhelming pain of grieving my father’s sudden death, crying grew into an expression I resisted, even in grief therapy, because of what it brought on—pain. Since the beginning of this year, I’ve been spending a lot more time establishing a “new normal” because although we often wait for things to go back to how they were, time only moves forward. I’ve been crying more or allowing tears to fall freely, like they used to, and making space for grief to hit me with open arms. Knowing that my body has been conditioned to resist tears, especially in public spaces, I’ve become dedicated to allowing memories to wash over me, no matter where I am, by fully embodying the sensations of grief—time slowing down, sounds becoming muffled, my heart sinking, throat thickening, stomach hollowing, and tears collecting themselves on my cheeks. I’ve also been documenting my tears to remind myself that I survived each episode of heartbreak and that my body needs those tender moments to make room for deeper healing. It’s through this practice that I’m learning to befriend grief again, a very dear old friend. #the100dayproject | drawing by me
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This photograph was taken nearly 24 years ago, standing in front my father's rose bushes and tomato ...
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This photograph was taken nearly 24 years ago, standing in front my father's rose bushes and tomato plants. As I look at this image, I realize that I'm very much the same person. A grown man who is desperately a child at heart. And although I still feel like a young boy, I'm seasoned with experience, ... This photograph was taken nearly 24 years ago, standing in front my father's rose bushes and tomato plants. As I look at this image, I realize that I'm very much the same person. A grown man who is desperately a child at heart. And although I still feel like a young boy, I'm seasoned with experience, love, pain, loss, failure and success.
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Up until now, I’ve learned much about myself. Largely that I’m incredibly sensitive with a heightened sense of awareness. Some specialists might say I’m an ‘empath’ while others might say I’m a ‘highly sensitive person.’ If you compare the lists of common diagnoses, I can certainly check off many boxes. Instead of trying to pick a specific label, all I can do is accept and embrace what I know.
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Although I appear to be an extrovert, I am also very much an introvert. I’m deeply moved by artwork and music. When I see a human or animal suffering, I immediately feel an overwhelming sense of stress, pain and sadness. I become emotional and cry much more often than the average person, oftentimes by myself. This is not usually out of sadness, but more of an overwhelming sensation that’s triggered from something nostalgic or meaningful. Even the slightest memory that flashes quickly in my mind will propel me to a place with emotions washing over me.
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In retrospect, all of these idiosyncrasies are the reason I’m here today, being an influencer on this very platform and soon to be cookbook author. It’s very common for someone like me to be a creative and also points arrows to why I am so passionate about animal welfare, and therefore, vegan. Being this way allows me to tap into beauty in a much deeper way. The goal of my work is to evoke emotion and create a nostalgic experience for all of you. When I successfully create beauty and happiness for others, I feel ultimately satisfied.
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The point of this message is for you all to have a better understanding of where I am coming from. If you can relate, I highly recommend building strong boundaries in your life when it comes to relationships, work, and setting proper expectations. We must be very selective of our surrounds and our accessibility. :)
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Sending all of you love!
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Looking to the next step in life like <span class="emoji emoji1f631"></span>. Yesterday after having a big talk with an incredible group ...
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Looking to the next step in life like . Yesterday after having a big talk with an incredible group of expats in Kenya, I decided to put my NYC apt up to be sublet. As I continue to explore the world, I’ve realized the thought of going back to NYC makes me sad, and that hurts my heart. NY has been where ... Looking to the next step in life like 😱. Yesterday after having a big talk with an incredible group of expats in Kenya, I decided to put my NYC apt up to be sublet. As I continue to explore the world, I’ve realized the thought of going back to NYC makes me sad, and that hurts my heart. NY has been where I’ve grown up, where I’ve fallen in love, where I created the life that I’m so grateful for. However, it’s left me uninspired for a few years now, and meeting people who have taken the plunge to be immigrants themselves has reminded me that I too can do this. More than anything meeting people who are truly working to make the world a better place has sparked so much inspiration and intrigue within me. I’ve been searching the world for sometime now for something. I wasn’t exactly sure what it was I was looking for, but being surrounded by these incredible humanitarians has made me realize it wasn’t what but who I was looking for. This next step is scary, overwhelming, and full of unknowns, but I’m trusting the universe and taking it day by day to figure out what is next. I share these sentiments because I want you to know you are not alone in wanting something different out of life. As the world continues to show so much pain and hurt, remember we have the power to find and create the love that will heal the world. Feeling beyond humbled right now. ✨ #gratitude #growth #humble
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I have written many thoughts over the past 4 years surrounding this date – the power and act of remembrance, ...
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I have written many thoughts over the past 4 years surrounding this date – the power and act of remembrance, the beauty of journeying towards a fuller understanding of the character and nature of God, the hard and good act of holding events and circumstances with open hands, my overwhelming ... I have written many thoughts over the past 4 years surrounding this date – the power and act of remembrance, the beauty of journeying towards a fuller understanding of the character and nature of God, the hard and good act of holding events and circumstances with open hands, my overwhelming gratitude for the care and presence of community in my story – and all of those thoughts still ring true.

Looking back at the person that has stood at this particular marker year over year, I see someone who came to the same place from a variety of perspectives - overwhelmed, struck, joyful, saddened, grateful, numb, acceptant, weary, hopeful, angry, expectant – and this year I see the beauty and necessity of each of those placements. A wise person once told me that grief is “crazy-making” and it’s true. But, what is also true is that at the heart of the hurricane that becomes the crazy, there is also an eye of the Lord’s grace, mercy, and love. So that, even through the gut-wrenching, backbreaking there is a truth that remains. It will be hard, it will hurt, it will not be simple, it will break your heart in new and horrific ways, it will teach you, it will shape you, you will become more human than you thought possible…and it will continue to do so for days, months, and years to come. The process, the unfolding, the sitting in the darkness, has been worth it for me and about the only guidance I would offer someone. Do it. Go there. Sit with it, on it, around it. But, with the same conviction and vigor, surrender your ability to do it alone and your will to figure it all out. The highs and the lows will get softer, your ability to see beyond will get clearer, and you will begin to feel the light again. I’ve been there, and in some ways I’m here still. What I know without a doubt today is that even with the pain of the things I have gained from the darkness, the lightness that comes with a deeper understanding of mercy, compassion, and love are irreplaceable gifts. And, it’s with those gifts that I stand here this year with humility and gratitude, looking to the next one with openness of heart and prayerfulness for my days ahead and the days of those around me.
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Hello <span class="emoji emoji1f64f"></span>🏼 so I’m on day 5 of excruciating physical pain but my mind has never felt happier and more loved. ...
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Hello 🏼 so I’m on day 5 of excruciating physical pain but my mind has never felt happier and more loved. The amount of messages I have received is completely overwhelming, so many women out there struggling with #endometriosis and #PMDD have shared their remarkable stories of both holistic ... Hello 🙏🏼 so I’m on day 5 of excruciating physical pain but my mind has never felt happier and more loved. The amount of messages I have received is completely overwhelming, so many women out there struggling with #endometriosis and #PMDD have shared their remarkable stories of both holistic remedies and surgical. Thank you for sharing I have read every single message. Also to the beautiful men in my world who have reached out, I am so grateful for you.. you are equally important and sacred. I am going to continue speaking out about this untouched topic on my social media and hopefully help someone on their journey. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul xx Dena 🖤 p.s can’t wait for the pain to pass, so I can go dance my heart out !
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This past week was filled with a medley of emotions for me. For those who don't know, April 1 was supposed ...
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This past week was filled with a medley of emotions for me. For those who don't know, April 1 was supposed to be the due date for our first baby. As we got closer to Easter the reality of that hit me a little harder than I had expected. I was sitting organizing emails one morning only to see an email ... This past week was filled with a medley of emotions for me. For those who don't know, April 1 was supposed to be the due date for our first baby. As we got closer to Easter the reality of that hit me a little harder than I had expected. I was sitting organizing emails one morning only to see an email from a pregnancy app saying "Congratulations it's officially your due date". Not going to lie, it stung a bit. I sat there after reading that and at first I was angry, but then tears began to fill my eyes.
After about an hour or so I began to feel this overwhelming since of peace fill my heart. I wiped my eyes and began to thank The Lord for what He has brought me through the past 8 months. The sadness of losing a baby, the fear that something was wrong with me, waiting on a new positive pregnancy test. None of those are easy and I would not have been able to overcome it had I not fully trusted The Lord and given my brokenness over to Him. • "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds, healing their pain and comforting their sorrow." - Psalm 147:3 •

This week I am thankful for the peace and joy The Lord has given me. I overwhelmed with thankfulness for this precious new life that The Lord has blessed me with. Tomorrow I will have been carrying him/her for 18 weeks. It's still very hard to wrap my head and my heart around sometimes. My heart is so full and so amazed at what The Lord can do in 8 months.
For those who have experienced the loss of a baby, or those who are still waiting for their miracle to come, don't give up. The Lord hears your every prayer and cry. I'm praying that while you are in this season that you experience His peace and joy just like I have over the journey of these past several months. ❤️
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#nataliebakerphotography #rainbowbaby #risingtidesociety #calledtobecreative #communityovercompetition #reallife #liveauthentic #thankful #dueinseptember #miracles #miracleshappen #rejoice #septemberbaby #18weekspregnant #18weeks #pregnant #miraclebaby #answeredprayers #godisgood #love #inspirational #momtobe #comingsoon #thankyoujesus #happymonday #reality #ilovemylife #honesty #truth #loveyourlife
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This past week was filled with a medley of emotions for me. For those who don't know, April 1 was supposed ...
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This past week was filled with a medley of emotions for me. For those who don't know, April 1 was supposed to be the due date for our first baby. As we got closer to Easter the reality of that hit me a little harder than I had expected. I was sitting organizing emails one morning only to see an email ... This past week was filled with a medley of emotions for me. For those who don't know, April 1 was supposed to be the due date for our first baby. As we got closer to Easter the reality of that hit me a little harder than I had expected. I was sitting organizing emails one morning only to see an email from a pregnancy app saying "Congratulations it's officially your due date". Not going to lie, it stung a bit. I sat there after reading that and at first I was angry, but then tears began to fill my eyes.
After about an hour or so I began to feel this overwhelming since of peace fill my heart. I wiped my eyes and began to thank The Lord for what He has brought me through the past 8 months. The sadness of losing a baby, the fear that something was wrong with me, waiting on a new positive pregnancy test. None of those are easy and I would not have been able to overcome it had I not fully trusted The Lord and given my brokenness over to Him. • "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds, healing their pain and comforting their sorrow." - Psalm 147:3 •

This week I am thankful for the peace and joy The Lord has given me. I overwhelmed with thankfulness for this precious new life that The Lord has blessed me with. Tomorrow I will have been carrying him/her for 18 weeks. It's still very hard to wrap my head and my heart around sometimes. My heart is so full and so amazed at what The Lord can do in 8 months.
For those who have experienced the loss of a baby, or those who are still waiting for their miracle to come, don't give up. The Lord hears your every prayer and cry. I'm praying that while you are in this season that you experience His peace and joy just like I have over the journey of these past several months. ❤️
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Well what an eventful last 7 days it’s been ... 7 days I may have never got to see..... For those not ...
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Well what an eventful last 7 days it’s been ... 7 days I may have never got to see..... For those not aware, last Sunday night 04/03/18, just after 11pm, I awoke with chest and back pain, I knew something wasn’t right, and drove myself to the ER at the Nickol Bay Hospital in Karratha- diagnosis: ... Well what an eventful last 7 days it’s been ... 7 days I may have never got to see..... For those not aware, last Sunday night 04/03/18, just after 11pm, I awoke with chest and back pain, I knew something wasn’t right, and drove myself to the ER at the Nickol Bay Hospital in Karratha- diagnosis: Heart Attack due to blockage. I credit the ER team there for saving my life, and sent the reaper off to look elsewhere 💀 After a few hours of clot busting drugs, and blood thinner cocktail infusions, I was “back in the game”, and booked for a trip to Perth immediately via the Royal Flying Doctors.
I owe everything to this team at the Nickol Bay Hospital ER, and appreciate everything thing they did for me.
0550 on Monday 05/03/18 I had my first ride in an ambulance in my 49+ years and was loaded onto the twin engine plane headed for Perth. The RFDS team was amazing and go above an beyond the level of expertise care. After arriving at Royal Perth Hospital, I was admitted to the CCU (coronary care unit) with a crack team of heart specialists and care team, who assessed and monitored my condition over the following 24 hour,
06/03/18 at 1630 , Dr Matthew Best’s ( possibly one of the coolest guys I’ve ever met) team operated, inserting a stent in my left ventricle via incision at the right wrist, a procedure that took less than 30 mins.
Less than 24 hours later on 07/03/18 at ,1300, I was discharged and sent on my way, with all the new medications required, and some sound advise on some lifestyle changes required. With the traveling and driving restrictions enforced after a health issue such as a heart attack, I have had to stay in Perth, and my fantastic mangers at Toxfree have put me up at the beach side suburb of Scarborough, to rest up & chill out till I can fly back to Karratha on Monday, which has worked wonders, because I feel 120% at the moment.
To everyone that have sent messages of support, it has been overwhelming and appreciated truly. 🤘

To my family, thank you all for your love and support. I love you all.❤️ To all the teams at Nickol Bay ER, the RFDS and Royal Perth Hospital CCU, I thank you for the care and expertise you used to save my life.
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<span class="emoji emoji1f319"></span><span class="emoji emoji2728"></span> MOON VIBES <span class="emoji emoji2728"></span><span class="emoji emoji1f319"></span><span class="emoji emoji2728"></span> <span class="emoji emoji1f315"></span> FULL MOON IN VIRGO <span class="emoji emoji264d"></span>️ The full moon in Virgo embodies a deep soul purification awash ...
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MOON VIBES FULL MOON IN VIRGO ️ The full moon in Virgo embodies a deep soul purification awash the 5 planetary bodies we currently have in pisces that are opposing this moon. It’s a time to release habits and patterns that are not serving you, or are blocking you from feeling fulfilled ... 🌙✨ MOON VIBES ✨🌙✨ 🌕 FULL MOON IN VIRGO ♍️ The full moon in Virgo embodies a deep soul purification awash the 5 planetary bodies we currently have in pisces that are opposing this moon. It’s a time to release habits and patterns that are not serving you, or are blocking you from feeling fulfilled in life and aligned with your greater mission. Ask yourself, what is my mission? .
It can be tempting under this energy to look too deeply into others behaviours and go too far down the rabbit hole of overthinking, anxiety and being overly critical of ourselves and others, thus blocking us from the gifts of this emotional release. Detach from drama, switch off, move your body and get out of your mind. The more you cling to pain and confusion from overwhelming, unprocessed emotions, the more intensely you will feel swallowed up in the midst of this pisces party in the sky ✨🐠✨
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There is so much love and joy to be experienced when you drop into your heart beloved. The emotional process to align with this space can be confronting and challenging, but no master has never not faced adversity. The illumination of the full moon is allowing you to see beyond any internal battle you face, and is assisting you as you grow, expand and make peace with your shadow. .
🌿 what joy can be found in this moment despite your anxieties? 🌿 how is this situation actually helping you to grow deeper into self, acceptance and mission? 🌿 how can you be of service to others?
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We each have our own path to walk, and this Virgo full moon is gifting you with the clarity and dedication to ground your mission and embody it with an open, soft heart 💕 Don’t be afraid of doing the work necessary to move where you feel called, but don’t forget that you have an immense spirit team guiding you beyond what your mind can see. Call upon your higher wisdom to lead the way.
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You are being called to something beyond your daily existence, and this time between this full moon and the new moon in pisces in 2 weeks will whisper these secrets to your heart from your soul. Let go a little, and let yourself grow 💚

Much love,
Katie xx // art by @harleyandj
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Happy Motherly Love Day! Mother’s Day is beautifully nostalgic for some, while painfully sobering ...
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Happy Motherly Love Day! Mother’s Day is beautifully nostalgic for some, while painfully sobering for others. Today I celebrate with joy/fullness, but a few years back, this day would have brought a deep ache in my soul. First, heart-shattering pain is I delivered our first son stillborn ... Happy Motherly Love Day!
Mother’s Day is beautifully nostalgic for some, while painfully sobering for others.
Today I celebrate with joy/fullness, but a few years back, this day would have brought a deep ache in my soul.
First, heart-shattering pain is I delivered our first son stillborn at 7months (I’ve spoke about this before). Some friends/family would sweetly include me in the “Happy Mother’s Day” wishes, which would remind me that I didn’t have a baby in my arms. However, others would forget me on this day, equally squashing my heart, because I felt and knew that I was indeed a Mother.
At church, they’d always have “all the Mother’s stand up.” For years, I wrestled whether to sit or stand...silently negotiating the large lump in my throat and the tears welling up in my eyes.
The second ache that my heart beat through, was mourning the relationship I once had with my own Mom. Conflict and differing beliefs created a chasm between us. Truth be told I hated Mother’s Day for years.
Today is different. God has truly restored the areas that brought me grief. I’m wrapped in love by my three blessings and I’m healthily working back to a good relationship with my Mom, as she learns at 76-years-old that God isn’t concerned with what she once thought, but rather consumed with being loving, merciful and full of grace.

To those of you hurting today, I’ve been where you are. I’ve hidden my tears too. You’re not alone and you’re not less than because this day is complicated for you. You are enough and your situation is being rectified as long as your heart remains open.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas with kids on earth or in heaven and to the “stand in mamas” (my stand in Mama, Mama G is pictured above) who’ve graciously loved on kids not your own, because you saw their need. I pray today is filled with peace and an overwhelming knowledge that you are loved.
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••• . It’s all messy - the hair, the heart, life... . ••• . So, as most of you know by now, I did ...
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••• . It’s all messy - the hair, the heart, life... . ••• . So, as most of you know by now, I did not end up winning the trip to Bali. I’m not going to lie, I was hell bent and heart set on coming out of that challenge on top. When I I initially found out the winner had been selected, and that it in ... •••
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It’s all messy - the hair, the heart, life...
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So, as most of you know by now, I did not end up winning the trip to Bali. I’m not going to lie, I was hell bent and heart set on coming out of that challenge on top. When I I initially found out the winner had been selected, and that it in fact was not me, I had a moment - a moment where sheer heartbreak and an overwhelming sense of defeat took over. But as that moment wore on I realized that I had actually won...in so many ways. I am SO proud of myself and I am SO happy that, over the past twelve weeks I have sorted out my gut issues - issues that have persisted for years, that have been a major source of stress, frustration, and pain - both mental and physical; issues that have held me back from my true potential on many levels. I honestly have never felt better mentally and physically and, without sounding conceited, have never truly loved myself this much. I am so incredibly happy with where I am. I am happy and healthy from the inside out, and to me that's worth more than any trip in the world 🙏🏼💞
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Again, I can not say this enough...THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, to each and every one of you who have supported me from day one, to all of you who made voting a part of your daily routine, to those who sent me message after message of encouraging, motivational words and comments that truly touched my heart. Your positivity and support mean more to me than you’ll ever know. For all of this, and so much more, I am truly blessed.
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Everything happens for a reason. There is a time for everything, and clearly the universe has something else in store for me...and I can’t wait to find out what that is ✨
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[BTS Photo by @g1bikini / Photoshoot w/ @davidfournierphotography 📸]
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Last night we went back to seven kids after a week of having nine. My heart wants to continue taking ...
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Last night we went back to seven kids after a week of having nine. My heart wants to continue taking in more foster children, but the reality is that we can only do so much. We alone can't help all these kiddos in need of a loving, supportive home. Fostercare is no walk in the park. It is hard. It drives ... Last night we went back to seven kids after a week of having nine. My heart wants to continue taking in more foster children, but the reality is that we can only do so much. We alone can't help all these kiddos in need of a loving, supportive home. Fostercare is no walk in the park. It is hard. It drives you through more emotions in a single day than anything else I have experienced in life. It is exhausting. It is heart breaking. It can be lonely and overwhelming. Most will tell you that you do enough and you don't have to endure the crazy behaviors and attitudes. But the truth is, I was never called to live in my comfort zone. I was never called to walk the easy road. I was called to be an advocate. Please consider opening your home. Be honest with your limits. Go forward with your eyes open to the fact that it will be a difficult journey. The rewards will make it worth it. The smiles and love and hugs you'll receive will keep you moving forward.
We are all gifted in different areas. There is a HUGE need for foster homes that will take on career and behavioral kids. Many of these are teens. Maybe God has blessed you with the gift of calm and emotional control. Maybe He gave you that gift so you could love a hard kid through the already difficult teenage years. Just one kid at a time. Maybe God has blessed you with a big heart and many open beds so that you could help a sibling group stay together as they are ripped from their homes and placed with strangers. This is a huge need. It will be a crazy and difficult road. But I can't imagine the pain children experience being torn apart from there brothers and sisters. Maybe you have a heart to help prepare a teen mom to raise her child on her own. If together, we can see how God has prepared us to help children in need, we could see this growing list of children waiting for homes grow smaller.
And if you think there isn't a need where you are because you live in a rural area of your state, think again. Many children wait on homes because there aren't any near them.

Foster care is hard. But it is worth it!
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“Is Life Like This For Everyone?” (Acrylic on panel) from my show last year at @coreyhelfordgallery ...
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“Is Life Like This For Everyone?” (Acrylic on panel) from my show last year at @coreyhelfordgallery 🖤 I painted this piece that speaks of great loss & grief because in my life, at times I’ve felt like grief was so heavy it was going to tear my soul right in half. The loss of a loved one, the pain can ... “Is Life Like This For Everyone?” (Acrylic on panel) from my show last year at @coreyhelfordgallery 🖤 I painted this piece that speaks of great loss & grief because in my life, at times I’ve felt like grief was so heavy it was going to tear my soul right in half. The loss of a loved one, the pain can be excruciating and I look around and wonder - is life like this for everyone? Is everyone carrying around this capability to be so deeply effected, this place inside of them that once it knows this level of pain, they know it forever?
Is every creature touched by sadness overwhelming that even the tiniest beings that grow from the earth feel it’s weight?
I realize that sadness, suffering & grief aren’t subjects we are excited to think about, much less talk about, but there’s HEALING in knowing we aren’t alone. Knowing WE AREN’T ALONE can be our saving grace 🖤 My heart goes out to those who suffer. Those who know great loss & pain 🖤
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I can't believe it's been a week. <span class="emoji emoji1f494"></span> Somehow it's felt so long and so fast at the same time. <span class="emoji emoji1f494"></span> I feel ...
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I can't believe it's been a week. Somehow it's felt so long and so fast at the same time. I feel such an overwhelming amount of loss. It was only a few days before he went that we cuddled on the couch and I took this picture. ️ He had a piece of my heart, my identity, my purpose. My daily schedule ... I can't believe it's been a week. 💔
Somehow it's felt so long and so fast at the same time. 💔
I feel such an overwhelming amount of loss. It was only a few days before he went that we cuddled on the couch and I took this picture. ❤️ He had a piece of my heart, my identity, my purpose. My daily schedule revolved around making sure he was happy and cared for. 💔
I feel a mix of denial, anger, and utter sadness. I keep telling myself to wake up, it's just a dream. I hate myself for letting this happen, I feel like I failed him. The hardest part is coming home to such a quiet and empty house. 💔
He was truly my baby, my love, and he didn't deserve to go like this. 💔
With all that said, he's finally back home with us. And I think there are a lot of people who would roll their eyes at this post and said "It's just a dog." Luckily for me I don't seem to know any of those people. It's been overwhelming the amount of love and support that has come our way, directly or indirectly. I have close family and friends checking in on me daily, I have people I haven't known very long going out of their way to show their support. I have had people I haven't spoken to or kept in touch with in years reach out and send their love. The community around us is feeling the pain of such a loss. ❤️
I realize how lucky I am to be surrounded by people that love me, or that loved Han, or maybe even more importantly, understood my love for Han. ❤️
Thank you to everyone who has reached out, I don't think I would be able to go through this without you. ❤️
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So thankful to everyone who wore orange today or posted something nice to support #crpsorangeday. ...
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So thankful to everyone who wore orange today or posted something nice to support #crpsorangeday. This disease is one of the craziest things I’ve ever come across in this life. Commonly dubbed “the suicide disease” because so many people lose hope in the never ending battle that entails ... So thankful to everyone who wore orange today or posted something nice to support #crpsorangeday. This disease is one of the craziest things I’ve ever come across in this life. Commonly dubbed “the suicide disease” because so many people lose hope in the never ending battle that entails when this monster invades your body. Not only is it never ending pain but it affects so much more, it literally causes memory loss, stealing precious moments from your past, it causes sensitivity to emotion and any stimulation whether it be sight, sound, touch.. ect. It almost always brings along other body complications. For me it’s brought on terrible stomach issues with more pain and more days struggling just to survive. It is something that brings so much hurt and sadness and if you dwell on the magnitude too much, It becomes so overwhelming you feel as though you will never win this battle. This disease will always rule over you. But then you have those magical moments. A day out with friends, a kind word of encouragement and support or a conversation where you really felt understood. These precious gems I’ve been lucky to receive in such abundance that I can’t help but be overwhelmingly joyful. I choose to focus on joy and happiness everyday in this life. I choose to focus on the smallest things that I can do and realize how truly amazing and wonderful it is that I get the chance to live this life and do them. I will never stop fighting this battle for the beautiful people we’ve lost to suicide because they couldn’t take the pain anymore, for the ones who may not have as great a support system as I, or struggle with the shame that comes with always being so harshly judged or misunderstood, I am always here for anyone who is fighting any sort of battle in this life and feel honored I’ve been given such a beautiful insight to how truly special this life is despite any hardships that come my way. Thankyou everyone for your support and love these past years, you have brought me so many moments of joy, I feel as though my heart might explode from happiness and the feeling of being so cherished 🎗💪🏼🔥 #colortheworldorange #crpsawareness #rsdawareness #spoonielife #beyondblessed
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Happy Father’s Day to My EVERYTHING!! My heart in human form <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ I love you so much dad! Thank you for ...
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Happy Father’s Day to My EVERYTHING!! My heart in human form ️ I love you so much dad! Thank you for all that you do!! I’d be lost without you... You've given me such security No matter what mistakes I make you're there for me You cure my disappointments and you heal my pain You understood ... Happy Father’s Day to My EVERYTHING!! My heart in human form ❤️ I love you so much dad! Thank you for all that you do!! I’d be lost without you... 🎶 You've given me such security
No matter what mistakes I make you're there for me
You cure my disappointments and you heal my pain
You understood my biz and you protected me
I treasure every irreplaceable memory and that's why
I want
My unborn son
To be like my daddy
I want my husband to be like my daddy
There is no one else like my daddy
Even if my man broke my heart today
No matter how much pain I'm in I would be okay, oh
'Cause I got a man in my life that can't be replaced
Father's love is unconditional, it won't go away
And I know I'm lucky (lucky)
Know it ain't easy (it ain't easy)
Men who take care of their responsibilities
Love is overwhelming
All that you did pay for me, ah
Can't stop my tears from falling
I love you so much, daddy... ❤️
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1 of 2: Want to know what you're made of inside? Do more hard things. Practice being uncomfortable ...
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1 of 2: Want to know what you're made of inside? Do more hard things. Practice being uncomfortable and vulnerable. Stay on your edge, between comfort and avoidance. That's where life lives, and accept it sometimes gives you what you need before you even see it. Example: Break your heart. ... 1 of 2: Want to know what you're made of inside? Do more hard things. Practice being uncomfortable and vulnerable. Stay on your edge, between comfort and avoidance. That's where life lives, and accept it sometimes gives you what you need before you even see it.
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Example: Break your heart. Walk across a country. Grieve the loss of a hero. Write wedding vows, then realize you don't need them.
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Say all the things. Give yourself a hard pinch of perspective. Be brought to your knees by life, and remind yourself that kneeling is necessary for healing. Then get going.
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Admit you are not okay. Admit you are homesick for eye contact. Admit you miss that giggle. Admit you don't know how this ends. Admit you won't see them again. Admit you're not so good at letting go, or knowing in your bones that you trust the process and will love the outcome no matter how it goes. Admit you're not as strong as your ego would have you believe. Admit there's a part of you that will never be the same. Admit you've been lying to yourself. Admit you're destroyed inside. Admit you need help. Admit you want to quit. Admit you can't do this alone. Admit the pain is overwhelming. Admit this is the only way forward. Admit this is the right path...
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dodie bought me a little succulent back in January, when a dream I had was over and I was distraught ...
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dodie bought me a little succulent back in January, when a dream I had was over and I was distraught in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. She rallied all my friends and they came over bearing gifts: Lizzy and James with my favorite candies, Nathan with figurines of ocean animals, Elizabeth with ... dodie bought me a little succulent back in January, when a dream I had was over and I was distraught in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. She rallied all my friends and they came over bearing gifts: Lizzy and James with my favorite candies, Nathan with figurines of ocean animals, Elizabeth with the big hard pretzels I love, my mom with a new teacup, and dodie with the plant. •
“Your dreams will grow,” she told me, if I remembered to water them.

I needed my friends so badly that night, and they showed up to heal my heart. They helped me start, at least. And from there I kept going. I ate the candy and the pretzels, washed the teacup out with extra care, and lined the ocean animals up along the side of the bathtub. And I watered the plant as often as I remembered, and was surprised to watch it grow.

A few months later my Crohn’s was acting up. I couldn’t eat anything and the pain was unimaginable; I spent nights curled into a heating pad and trudged to the doctor for every exploratory procedure I could think of. On one of my weaker days, a time when I was fasting, I asked my mom to go with me to the nursery and pick out a new plant. We chose a fern this time. I told myself that by the time this plant got bigger, my body wouldn’t hurt so badly.

My succulent is tall now, and strong. And when I think of my January pain my heart feels sealed over. It doesn’t hurt anymore, not like it did before. I still can’t eat the things I want to, but my fern is small. I have time to sort it out.

I’m going through a hard time right now. Lots of feelings of inadequacy and coming up short. I think it might be time for a new plant. Problems can feel so overwhelming when we try to face them head on and fix them right away.

It’s amazing how much good a little time and watering will do. I think I’d like to have the proof.

I think I’d like to build a garden.
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Becoming an Ironman almost cost me my life! I thought quite alot about this post and wheter or not ...
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Becoming an Ironman almost cost me my life! I thought quite alot about this post and wheter or not I should do it or should have done it! This is how I celebrated my ironman victory. I spend almost 3 days here after crossing the finishline at @kmdironmandenmark, because my goal of becoming ... Becoming an Ironman almost cost me my life!
I thought quite alot about this post and wheter or not I should do it or should have done it!
This is how I celebrated my ironman victory. I spend almost 3 days here after crossing the finishline at @kmdironmandenmark, because my goal of becoming an ironman was bigger then quitting and listening to what my body was telling me. I was in alot of pain before even starting the race, back pain and fighting off an outbreak of lymphs. I was not in a good place. But I wanted to become an Ironman! Only thing in my mind.
During the race I didnt follow my nutrition plan, and ending up only eating two energybars and not even drinking half of the amount as planned.
After 12 hours of hard work and feeling more done than ever, my body shut down in the car on the way home. I was fading in and out of consciousness and trowing up the food @mbfys was trying to provide me. She called 911 and I got rushed to the hospital! My body was without any water and nowhere to find an energy souce. Therefore my body was decomposing muscletissue which lead to poisoning and with a major dehydration my heart was in trouble and fighting a new battle. Two times during the first 12 hours at the hospital, doctors and nurses came running in, because my heart was stressed out and my heartbeat was close to become silent...
Iam glad that I made it, but I didnt get to experience the rush of emotions, the overwhelming power of achieving my goal or the celebration. Still to this day Iam not satisfied how I made that race but iam proud for not giving up. Ive been embressed about that I failed so hard and that I didnt get the racetime or acheivement that I expected of myself.
But iam humble that my body gave me another chance to have a second look in the mirror and the possibility to become a stronger and SMARTER triathlete!
I will keep fighting for my goals in life, and I cannot wait for 2018, when I will be back racing.
Keep fighting for your goals and what you dream of, but hey, be fucking smart about it, plan it, work hard, listen to your body and strike the kill when you have the power!
#striketokill
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“I want to believe, I want to have hope, but…” Pastor and bestselling author @craiggroeschel hears ...
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“I want to believe, I want to have hope, but…” Pastor and bestselling author @craiggroeschel hears these words often & has asked them himself. We want to know God, feel his presence, & trust that he hears our prayers, but in the midst of great pain, we may wonder if he really cares about us. Even ... “I want to believe, I want to have hope, but…” Pastor and bestselling author @craiggroeschel hears these words often & has asked them himself.
We want to know God, feel his presence, & trust that he hears our prayers, but in the midst of great pain, we may wonder if he really cares about us.
Even when we have both hope and hurt, sometimes it’s the hurt that shouts the loudest. Can God be good when life is not?
In Hope in the Dark, Groeschel explores the story of the father who brought his demon-possessed son to Jesus, saying, “I believe! Help my unbelief!” In the man’s sincere plea, Jesus heard the tension in the man’s battle-scarred heart.
He healed not only the boy but the father too, driving out the hopelessness that had overtaken him.
He can do the same for us today.
As Groeschel shares his pain surrounding the current health challenges of his daughter, he acknowledges the questions we may ask in our own deepest pain: “Where was God when I was being abused?” “Why was my child born with a disability?” “Why did the cancer come back?” “Why are all my friends married and I’m alone?” He invites us to wrestle with such questions as we ask God to honor our faith & heal our unbelief.
In the middle of your profound pain, you long for authentic words of understanding & hope. You long to know that even in overwhelming reality, you can still believe that God is good. Rediscover a faith in the character, power, & presence of God. Even in the questions. Even now.
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Since I shared about our miscarriage, I’ve been getting so many messages about this feeling of loss. ...
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Since I shared about our miscarriage, I’ve been getting so many messages about this feeling of loss. It’s been positively overwhelming and validates the point that far too many of us go through such pain alone. Maybe it’s the timing since most miscarriages happen during the time you’re not ... Since I shared about our miscarriage, I’ve been getting so many messages about this feeling of loss. It’s been positively overwhelming and validates the point that far too many of us go through such pain alone. Maybe it’s the timing since most miscarriages happen during the time you’re not really sharing the news. So you feel so, so alone. Maybe because talking about loss is just too difficult, especially when you never really had in your hands. All this makes it incredibly more confusing because you did feel the loss, every bit of it. You did physically go through a loss but your mind and your heart is fighting to make sense of it. So you stay quiet. And the quieter things get, the more you end up feeling. Feeling the pain, the anger, the sadness, the guilt, the confusion, the resentment, the loneliness. But as time goes on, it doesn’t feel as lonely anymore, or at least as often. And the pain... well, the pain is still there. It just hurts a little less and not as long. But it’s still there. Still there to remind us that we can certainly feel all those feels... and still be ok. Hope you were able to read Sasha’s #mamadiary about her journey of loss and love. It’s worth a read and crazy intense | Link in profile | 📷: @angelabaronphotographer || #RAWmotherhood
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#motherhood #miscarriage #loss #love #mamadiaries #bcwomens #ppd #ppa #youarenotalone #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising #motherhoodthroughinstagram #realmoms #realstories #realmoments #ifthesewallscouldtalk #roomswithstories #blog
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i always hear people say things like “oh the good old days, when we were innocent children and actually ...
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i always hear people say things like “oh the good old days, when we were innocent children and actually had hope. now we are grown and realistic about things.” i actually hate that, because the older i get, the more amazed i am of the world around me. in the bible, Solomon says in the book of Ecclesiastes ... i always hear people say things like “oh the good old days, when we were innocent children and actually had hope. now we are grown and realistic about things.” i actually hate that, because the older i get, the more amazed i am of the world around me. in the bible, Solomon says in the book of Ecclesiastes that the more understanding you have of the world, the more sorrow and grief that follows. I understand this, I really do ~ but there’s also a beauty that comes in realizing that God wants to invade your soul within all of that madness and confusion. Witnessing this in my everyday life baffles me each time. The more i’ve grown in my understanding of the world around me, the more I desire to cling to the Lord. &The more I do that, the more overwhelming peace He gives me through it all. He restores my innocence. He gives me a heart to serve and help people ~ to represent who He actually is in a world that thinks He’s so horrible. He gives me wisdom both to see past trials, and to sit in trials with patience and trust. Trials that expand my perspective outside of my own limited experiences & give me the understanding and discipline to ultimately learn how to sit back and ENJOY HIM. // 🦋“So what do people get in this life for all their hard work and anxiety? Their days of labor are filled with pain and grief; even at night their minds cannot rest. It is all meaningless. So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭2:22-24‬ ‭NLT‬‬
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I WAS a person who stopped an orgasm at the beginning before it got overwhelming. <span class="emoji emoji1f440"></span> Are you guilty ...
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I WAS a person who stopped an orgasm at the beginning before it got overwhelming. Are you guilty of this too? Scared to receive immense joy! Lets stop robbing ourselves of all the beauty in the pleasure and pain. The only real way to achieve the balance needed to keep growing. We all live ... I WAS a person who stopped an orgasm at the beginning before it got overwhelming. 👀
Are you guilty of this too?
Scared to receive immense joy!
Lets stop robbing ourselves of all the beauty in the pleasure and pain. The only real way to achieve the balance needed to keep growing. We all live and metaphorically die by the structure that we feel controls our lives but most of these rules and beliefs are born from other peoples philosophies. Your parents, friends, your community and often the story we tell ourselves creates a strong hold around our authentic self that is literally killing us.
@jay_jonah_jacko Your love and belief created the opportunity for my entire being to be burned to ashes, making room for my wings. + @laurenzander_coach @shir4nir @chenoamaxwell @hankwillisthomas Ray & random mystery inspirer guy James, you all gave me different jewels to unlock the last door out of the escape room that I created around my heart. ❤️
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🦗 9/8/18 4:33am “There’s been this feeling that I can’t shake lately, an overwhelming urge to touch ...
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🦗 9/8/18 4:33am “There’s been this feeling that I can’t shake lately, an overwhelming urge to touch another #body and ever since that night, I’ve felt like a #zombie 🧟‍♀️ Another day to #celebrate all the deaths that haunt me ⚰️ 🏼 Pick up the pieces of my broken heart from the floor Pin my ... 🦗 9/8/18 4:33am “There’s been this feeling that I can’t shake lately, an overwhelming urge to touch another #body and ever since that night, I’ve felt like a #zombie 🧟‍♀️ Another day to #celebrate all the deaths that haunt me ⚰️
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Pick up the pieces of my broken heart from the floor 💔 Pin my suicide letter to the bedroom door 🚪 A door that will now never be reopened, I guess I’ll never get it... pills are not for coping 🚒 I focused on the sound of the crickets and rain, downed them with alcohol to numb the pain 🍸
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You gave me a reason to #stay, I think about you in times of play. In my head, there’s memories of sin 🧠 Ran back towards #faith so I could hear someone say, “you’re #forgiven”...
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I have #demons telling me “Nobody will miss you when you’re gone” 👹 If I did what they want, I’d pull the #trigger by dawn and my last words would be, just singing along to a love song 🎶
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It’s just not the way I would want to go, I wanna die with your hands around my throat... Use both hands and make me choke 💀 Take a deep breath and watch the lights go out, when it comes to #death you forget about #clout. I’d try to convince you, but you’re #absolute in doubt.....” 😔
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👀If you’re viewing this from the #ExplorePage give @TheAluraSierra a #follow for updates on my life and #IGTV videos! 👌🏻🖤
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IGNORE TAGS: #Marshmallow #MarshmallowWoman #Words #Writer #Music #Explore #Content #Like #Photo #Alternative #AltGirl #Tattoos #Piercings #Goth
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This is me upon waking on #MothersDay. <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span> I took this naked selfie so I could test whether I'm still ...
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This is me upon waking on #MothersDay. I took this naked selfie so I could test whether I'm still pretty or not. There is no lie detected: still beautiful, still full of light, still full of love. I became a mother an unbelievable 7 years ago, after enduring 72 hours of agony before my son ... This is me upon waking on #MothersDay. ❤

I took this naked selfie so I could test whether I'm still pretty or not. There is no lie detected: still beautiful, still full of light, still full of love. ❤

I became a mother an unbelievable 7 years ago, after enduring 72 hours of agony before my son entered the world, delivered into his father's hands. "It's a boy," he said--the sex of our child a secret we enjoyed until the moment he arrived. ❤

My son was born at 9 pm on the night before my birthday. Three hours later, I turned 29. Three days later, finally at home, I ate my first sushi meal in 9 months, and wept into my plate. I had wanted this child. More than anything. I loved him with a love that frightened me. And now here we were, a whole new life that in an instant I no longer recognized. Waking up all night long, breast heavy with milk, nipples bleeding from nursing, the most overwhelming love flowing from me to this beautiful child--the kind of love that scares you, scares especially people like me, who've lost many to death at way too young an age, that frightening mother-love: suddenly, you are thrust into a world in which your heart no longer lives in the cage of your chest but now jumps from jungle gyms and runs across streets without looking. That frightening mother love: hold on tight. These babies slip away, all of them, even *you* were once a baby that slipped away--and here, to my own mama, I apologize for leaving you, abandoning you when you needed a friend, I now know the pain I caused you, pain that at that time I could never understand, could only focus on my needs to be "free." ❤

If I believed in god, I'd ask her to grant me the strength to hold these moments, still, like a painting on a wall, take note of the tiny brush strokes that make up this fleeting childhood, tattoo on my heart his snaggle grin at the age of seven, capture for forever his desire to snuggle me in the mornings, keep forever my body and my heart as his safe space in the world. ❤ Son, my darling, you made me a mother and I will make you a man. ❤

But in the meantime, for today, I'm going to love on me.

#happymothersday
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I know there is someone else who needs this same encouragement the way I did this morning. God sees ...
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I know there is someone else who needs this same encouragement the way I did this morning. God sees you. 
Three words that may rescue you from the pit on a Wednesday morning. God. Sees. You. Hagar knew a little something about this. Unexpected grace. There in the midst of her pain ... I know there is someone else who needs this same encouragement the way I did this morning.

God sees you.

Three words that may rescue you from the pit on a Wednesday morning.

God. Sees. You.

Hagar knew a little something about this.

Unexpected grace.

There in the midst of her pain and her sadness and her overwhelming fear and regret… she knew it. And she said it in Genesis 16, verse 13, “… Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord who had spoken to her. She said, ‘You are the God who sees me.’” I had highlighted it there in my Bible many years ago. But I wonder if I’ve always believed it?

Because I think the truth really is that we are quick to recognize His presence in the lives of others. We easily embrace this idea that He speaks to others and draws near to those more “godly” than we.
But that’s improper thinking.

He sees you!

From the top of your head, to the bottom of your feet He is examining you. And He is greatly riveted by your comings and goings and your doings. He sees you supremely, constantly, entirely.

He sees where you are hurt. He hears the cries of your heart before you even utter a word. He knows the pain your have suffered. He knows the nights you have laid awake in bed burdened by the weight of your circumstances.

He sees you!

And there is never a moment when you are out of His sight. There’s not one place you can hide to escape His awaiting and abiding love for you.

He sees you lying wounded on the battlefield, and with unending mercy He leaves the masses to behold your aching spirit and mend the shattered pieces of your heart.

I say it often to those I love who’s brokenness and wounded-ness has gravely affected their disposition… “He is madly in love with you!” He is a God who sees. A God moved with compassion for the hearts of His children. And “…not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.” (Mt 10:29) And how much more precious are you than one sparrow?

Know it today. He sees you. He knows you. He longs after you.

Go forth today in hope knowing that the God who holds the universe together, is also holding your heart together together today!
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Writing a caption about losing a friend isn’t an easy task. You want to sum things up... put it all ...
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Writing a caption about losing a friend isn’t an easy task. You want to sum things up... put it all in a nutshell but the emotions just won’t fit. We expect time to be on our side. We expect to see our friends and family again because time is there for us. But the truth is we don’t have much time on ... Writing a caption about losing a friend isn’t an easy task. You want to sum things up... put it all in a nutshell but the emotions just won’t fit.
We expect time to be on our side. We expect to see our friends and family again because time is there for us. But the truth is we don’t have much time on this earth and not a single minute is guaranteed. I’m going to miss this guy from the bottom of my heart. The sadness is overwhelming... but there’s also lots of happiness underneath the pain. It’s the smile on Dave’s face that comes to mind. His laughter and jokes that I’ll remember most. That ripple will continue to move with us all long after he’s physically gone.
RIP Dave ... until we meet again 🙏🏼 @davidprieto64 #klockwork .
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Photo from Australia Tattoo Convention, 2013 (Melbourne)
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 #healing #Berealwithyourself #selflove #onedayatatime #love #pain #movingon #push #heart ...
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#healing #Berealwithyourself #selflove #onedayatatime #love #pain #movingon #push #heart #bestrong #understand #hurt #feeling #fight #overwhelming #yougotthis #onestepatatime #healing #Berealwithyourself #selflove #onedayatatime #love #pain #movingon #push #heart #bestrong #understand #hurt #feeling #fight #overwhelming #yougotthis #onestepatatime
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