Roxanne_emery Instagram Photos and Videos

roxanne_emery Roxanne Emery @roxanne_emery mentions
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A conversation I recently had with a friend. I’m R, and she’s S (for Suzs, @suzstorey) <span class="emoji emoji1f64f"></span>🏼 R: “I feel ...
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A conversation I recently had with a friend. I’m R, and she’s S (for Suzs, @suzstorey) 🏼 R: “I feel ashamed of how I am feeling at the moment” 🏼 S: “can you explain that a little more? Why do you feel ashamed?” 🏼 R: “well I have done so many horrendous things. I have hurt those I love the most. ... A conversation I recently had with a friend. I’m R, and she’s S (for Suzs, @suzstorey)
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R: “I feel ashamed of how I am feeling at the moment”
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S: “can you explain that a little more? Why do you feel ashamed?”
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R: “well I have done so many horrendous things. I have hurt those I love the most. I have sabotaged my own life. So I don’t feel I deserve to feel as peaceful as I do. I almost feel I deserve to be punished. I don’t understand why I am not hurting myself, drinking, self harming, reckless behaviour....”
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S: “The thing about grace is that it’s so unfair it’s fair. This true peace that is available to you, is also available to everyone, including all of your enemies. When you accept this kind of peace for yourself, you have no choice but to see everyone else with the same eyes”.
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#grace #peace #innerpeace #god #spiritual #spirituality #selflove #selfawareness #forgiveness #joy #friends #grace #salvation #mercy #faith #faithful #pray #happiness #friendship
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Imagine a baby bird on the top of a cliff. <span class="emoji emoji1f426"></span> The little bird is scared to fly, and in fact, he doesn’t ...
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Imagine a baby bird on the top of a cliff. The little bird is scared to fly, and in fact, he doesn’t even realise he can fly. 🦅 His mother has been trying to show the little bird that he can fly, but it isn’t working. So, knowing what will happen, she pushes her baby off the cliff edge! As the ... Imagine a baby bird on the top of a cliff.
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The little bird is scared to fly, and in fact, he doesn’t even realise he can fly.
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His mother has been trying to show the little bird that he can fly, but it isn’t working. So, knowing what will happen, she pushes her baby off the cliff edge!
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As the little bird falls towards the ground, he is terrified, but just at the last moment his true nature kicks in, his wings spread, and he takes his first flight. Life for him will never be the same again.
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If you feel you are falling off a cliff, like everything is happening at once, like it’s too much... maybe you are the baby bird. And maybe the universe is the mother.
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It’s in the falling that we learn to fly. Open your wings, and soar. It’s what you were born to do.
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#fly #falltofly #flying #motivation #selfbelief #theuniverse #god #spiritual #spiritualawakening #spirituality #wings #learntofly #selfdevelopment
#selfawareness #personalgrowth #selfesteem #selfconfidence #selfhelp #spiritualgrowth #spiritualawakening #personaldevelopment #manifest #awareness #enlightenment #roxanneemery
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Big love to @rubenderonde for dropping into my WhatsApp messages with these photos. One of the nicest ...
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Big love to @rubenderonde for dropping into my WhatsApp messages with these photos. One of the nicest guys you can hope to meet! ️ What an honour it was to be a guest on @asotlive. ️ It’s a goal of mine to have collaborations with both @arminvanbuuren and @rubenderonde and who knows... ... Big love to @rubenderonde for dropping into my WhatsApp messages with these photos. One of the nicest guys you can hope to meet!
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What an honour it was to be a guest on @asotlive.
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It’s a goal of mine to have collaborations with both @arminvanbuuren and @rubenderonde and who knows... maybe 2019 is the year.
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#asot #trance #trancefam #rubenderonde #armin #arminvanbuuren #roxanneemery
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The Shadow Self. <span class="emoji emoji26ab"></span>️ The part of yourself that you are ashamed of, and that you are hiding, is the ...
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The Shadow Self. ️ The part of yourself that you are ashamed of, and that you are hiding, is the part of yourself capable of destroying your life. ️ When we suppress parts of our identity, we actually empower them. So one day, in a moment of weakness, they will come to the forefront of our ... The Shadow Self.
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The part of yourself that you are ashamed of, and that you are hiding, is the part of yourself capable of destroying your life.
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When we suppress parts of our identity, we actually empower them. So one day, in a moment of weakness, they will come to the forefront of our being and sabotage our lives.
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My shadow presented itself in the following ways:
-cheating on people
-running away from my finances
-eating unhealthily
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What’s interesting about these 3 things? Well... I always had a lot to say about them. I judged these things very harshly in other people. For example, I spoke about the infidelity I had witnessed as a child for over two decades. I would be very judgemental of people with a lot of money labelling them greedy. I would judge people with “great bodies” as arrogant and superficial.
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What we judge in other people is merely projection. It’s the part of ourselves we are trying to hide.
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When we find ourselves enthralled in anger and hated, pointing fingers at someone else’s behaviour, that is because that same behaviour also exists in ourselves.
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An unprocessed shadow can, and will, ruin your life. However, the shadow can also be an exceptional area to learn and to grow in, if we call it into the light.
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When we bring our shadow into the light we can transform it. We can express it openly and allow it to exist, in a non-judgemental way.
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My pattern of cheating shows me that I am scared of committed relationships and don’t see myself worthy.
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My anger at people with a lot of money shows that I do actually really value money, and would like to grow in this area.
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My jealousy of healthy people shows that I had a desire to get healthy too.
⚪️ Look into what you judge most about others, it’s there you will begin to uncover your own shadow. And once you discover it, you can begin to heal it.
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If this resonates with you, and you would like to know more, I highly recommend “The Shadow Effect” audiobook by @mariannewilliamson, @deepakchopra and Debbie Ford.
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#shadowself #darkside #selfawareness #selfsabotage #selflove #compassion #spiritual #spirituality #spiritualawakening
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I imagine many of you are starting your New Years Resolutions today. <span class="emoji emoji1f386"></span> You’ve written a list, as ...
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I imagine many of you are starting your New Years Resolutions today. You’ve written a list, as you always do, you feel full of energy and self belief. You’re unstoppable right? 🤔 The thing is, it’s likely you feel this way every year. It’s also likely that you didn’t achieve a lot of your ... I imagine many of you are starting your New Years Resolutions today.
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You’ve written a list, as you always do, you feel full of energy and self belief. You’re unstoppable right?
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The thing is, it’s likely you feel this way every year. It’s also likely that you didn’t achieve a lot of your resolutions from last year.
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Whether it’s to lose 20lbs, start yoga, get into meditating, launch that podcast, write that book, take that photography class, be more loving, or travel more... for some reason these things just don’t get done despite your best intentions.

If you recognise a pattern here, of setting goals only to watch them disappear. It isn’t time for more goals. It’s time to look inwards and figure out WHY. Why are you self sabotaging?
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One key aspect, often overlooked in goal setting, is how we see ourselves. If you believe you are fat, lazy, not a person of your word, someone who doesn’t stick to things etc. it simply doesn’t matter what your goals are. These internal programs are running the show! You will always revert to these core beliefs.
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Here’s some tips to help you:
-watch your self talk, notice when you are being negative or not supporting your goals.
-use the language of victory when talking about your goals (Not “I will try” but “I WILL”)
-use the power of visualisation to see yourself after achieving your goal! During my weightless transformation I had a photo of @annavictoria with my face photoshopped on! 😂)
-invest time on your self development! Read books and listen to podcasts. Hit me up if you want suggestions!
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You are a victor. You have immense power. You can be your own worst enemy, or your own personal champion. The choice is yours.
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What are your resolutions this year? And WHY is this year going to be different from all the rest?
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#newyear #newyearsresolution #newyearsresolutions #love #selfbelief #mentalhealth #identity #goodhabits #transformation #transformationtuesday #willpower #weightloss #travel #goalsetting #spiritualawakening #spiritual #spirituality
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Ok 2018. Let’s talk. <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ The year my spiritual life transformed. I experienced the true peace of ...
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Ok 2018. Let’s talk. ️ The year my spiritual life transformed. I experienced the true peace of the universe, and what it means to know God. ️ The year my physical body transformed. I have found vitality, my real body, and my strength. ️ The year my work life transformed. I put down the ... Ok 2018. Let’s talk.
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The year my spiritual life transformed. I experienced the true peace of the universe, and what it means to know God.
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The year my physical body transformed. I have found vitality, my real body, and my strength.
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The year my work life transformed. I put down the low self esteem, wild ego, the pain, the overthinking. And just started writing. It’s working. I thought it was over, I was too old. Not good enough. But that was not my story.
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God willing it’s the last year I will touch drugs or alcohol. I simply cannot express the gratitude I owe to my recovery community. I don’t think I’d be here without it.
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The year friendship flooded my life and drowned me in love. You know who you are. You have changed my life. It’s my honour to walk bedside you.
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It’s not all “good”.
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My finances are a mess. I’ve been running from them for a long time. I’m digging into them in 2019. Saving my company from bankruptcy and setting things right. We don’t talk about financial struggles enough on social media, and that is part of my story.
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My love life is a mess. I didn’t know love until it was too late. My pain and my pattern lost me the greatest love I have known. But that will never happen again.
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I walk into 2019 knowing TRANSFORMATION is possible.
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I want to grow in my spirituality, sobriety, and physical health. And I want to invest seriously to transform my experience of love and my finances.
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I also want to use all my mistakes to help you.
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I want YOU to know your identity. To claim your power. To stop old patterns, and walk in peace.
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I am right beside you. Fighting. And I swear to you... light will prevail.
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#2018 #2019 #newyear #transformation #soberlife #sobriety #selfharm #love #depression #hope #god #faith #spirituality #spiritual
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Today, this beautiful lady asked me to be the God mother to the beautiful little baby she is busy creating! 😀 After ...
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Today, this beautiful lady asked me to be the God mother to the beautiful little baby she is busy creating! 😀 After breaking down in tears (me? Are you sure? Really?) of course I said yes! ️ It’s the first time for me, and is a true, true honour. The dark days are over, and I am so excited ... Today, this beautiful lady asked me to be the God mother to the beautiful little baby she is busy creating!
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After breaking down in tears (me? Are you sure? Really?) of course I said yes!
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It’s the first time for me, and is a true, true honour.
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The dark days are over, and I am so excited to be part of this little persons life!
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No worries about me being a bad influence anymore... worst I’ll do is have them eating vegan and going to yoga. Rock n roll.
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To my darling friends @danguitarstorey and @suzstorey . This is a true honour. Thank you so much.
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#godmother #baby #honour #gratitude #friendship #family #love #christmas #miracles
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This morning I woke up with some thoughts that weren’t serving me. 💭 -how could I have done such ...
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This morning I woke up with some thoughts that weren’t serving me. 💭 -how could I have done such horrible things? -why was it so easy for me to lie? -what’s wrong with me? -am I evil deep down? -maybe I am just not meant to be happy -I deserve punishment for everything I have done wrong Umm... ... This morning I woke up with some thoughts that weren’t serving me.
💭
-how could I have done such horrible things?
-why was it so easy for me to lie?
-what’s wrong with me?
-am I evil deep down?
-maybe I am just not meant to be happy
-I deserve punishment for everything I have done wrong
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Umm... these were certainly not going to lead to a peaceful day. And we all know the key to a peaceful life, is a peaceful day repeated.
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I noticed the thoughts. I labelled them as self pity. And decided to change my own mind. No amount of self loathing will change the past. But a lack of it WILL change the future.
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I put on my running shoes. A playlist of worship songs. And hit the road.
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I actively put new thoughts in my head:
-woohoo I’m running!
-I’m being good to myself
-I do not deserve punishment
-I will use my mistakes to grow and learn
-this is not my story
-I’m stronger than I think
-I can heal
-I can use my story to help others
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When I arrived home I noticed a big difference in my emotional state. From one of anxiety and lowness, to one of empowerment and love.
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You have control over your thoughts. You really do.
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If you can actively change what your mind is thinking about, you will also change your emotional state.
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You do not deserve to be punished. Physically or mentally.
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The more times you lean away from negative and destructive thought patterns, and into love / joy / peace / compassion / forgiveness for self and others, the easier it will be to do it again. You got this.
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#positivethinking #anxiety #depression #mentalhealth #peace #forgiveness #transformation #strength #spiritualawakening #spirituality #spiritual #selfharm
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Once upon a time, a little boy was locked inside of a dark room. <span class="emoji emoji1f622"></span> He hated the darkness and cried ...
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Once upon a time, a little boy was locked inside of a dark room. He hated the darkness and cried out for someone to save him. But it didn’t help. 🤬 He screamed at the darkness itself. But it didn’t help. 🥊 He punched the darkness as hard as he could, over and over again. But it didn’t help. 🏽‍♂️ He ... Once upon a time, a little boy was locked inside of a dark room.
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He hated the darkness and cried out for someone to save him. But it didn’t help.
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He screamed at the darkness itself. But it didn’t help.
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He punched the darkness as hard as he could, over and over again. But it didn’t help.
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He kicked the darkness, as hard as he could. But it didn’t help.
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He found a baseball bat on the floor, and began to beat the darkness. But that didn’t help either.
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Alone in the dark, having tried everything he could to fight it. He realised there was nothing he could do. He fell to the floor, defeated. And on the floor he found a match.
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The little boy lit the match, and the room was illuminated.
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Imagine this dark room is the darkness within yourself. The darkness in others. Let us not try and beat it out. Let us simply strike a match.
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#darkness #light #love #forgiveness #onceuponatime #lost #spirituality #spiritualawakening #spiritual
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I would like you to imagine something for me. <span class="emoji emoji1f4de"></span> Your best friend calls you on the phone. <span class="emoji emoji1f622"></span> They ...
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I would like you to imagine something for me. Your best friend calls you on the phone. They are distraught, and crying. Through the tears they tell you they have done something horrible. They tell you they have cheated on their partner. They tell you they hate themselves, that they ... I would like you to imagine something for me.
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Your best friend calls you on the phone.
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They are distraught, and crying. Through the tears they tell you they have done something horrible. They tell you they have cheated on their partner.
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They tell you they hate themselves, that they don’t deserve to live, that they are a horrible and broken person.

What would you say to them?

Please take a moment. Hand on heart to really hear what you would say to someone in this situation. And how you would feel towards them.
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If my friend called me and said this I would say the following, and perhaps you are the similar:
-it’s going to be ok
-I will help you
-you are not a terrible person
-what you have done comes from pain and I will work to understand this pain with you
-I love you, and I am here for you
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Now imagine that it is your partner that has cheated.
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Now imagine that it is you who had cheated.
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Often we give our purest love to our friends. We allow them to make mistakes, and we love rather than judge. We don’t hold them to the impossible expectations we do our romantic partners, or follow the path of self hatred we do for ourselves.
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If we could only love our partners, and ourselves, with such beautiful and powerful love, this world would be a very different place.
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When we are cheated on our egos go into overdrive. We face fears. Anxiety. Low self esteem. Jealousy. Anger. It can make us see the other person as an enemy, rather than best friend in pain.
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When we cheat ourselves we face guilt, regret, self disgust, self loathing. It can make us see ourselves as an enemy, rather than a best friend in pain.
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Use your treatment of your best friends to guide you. Let that love teach you how we are to speak to our partners, and in fact, ourselves, during hard times.
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We have a great capacity for love and understanding within us. It is powerful enough to transform, and in fact save lives, we must be brave and bold enough to follow it, and surrender to it.
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#bestfriends #cheating #forgiveness #love #power #transformation #understanding #grace #spirituality #spiritualawakening #spiritual
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The sign of a warrior is not in their strength, but in their resilience. <span class="emoji emoji2b1b"></span>️ The sign of a warrior ...
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The sign of a warrior is not in their strength, but in their resilience. ️ The sign of a warrior is not in winning a battle. But in the rising to fight again after defeat. ️ The sign of a warrior is not in revenge, but in forgiveness. Both of self, and others. ️ The sign of a warrior is not ... The sign of a warrior is not in their strength, but in their resilience.
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The sign of a warrior is not in winning a battle. But in the rising to fight again after defeat.
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The sign of a warrior is not in revenge, but in forgiveness. Both of self, and others.
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The sign of a warrior is not found in anger, but in peace.
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The sign of a warrior is not in death, but in life.
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May I remind you today that you are a true warrior. You have survived all of your worst days. May you remember your power.
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#warrior #strength #peace #forgiveness #weightlossjourney #spirutal #spiritualawakening #spirituality #power #mentalhealth
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Merry Christmas. <span class="emoji emoji1f384"></span> I spent the morning visiting the grave of my mother. <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ There were so many ...
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Merry Christmas. I spent the morning visiting the grave of my mother. ️ There were so many people at the cemetery. ️ Laying flowers, crying, praying, laughing, alone, with their families. ️ What struck me was what these people would do for just one more moment. ️ One more moment ... Merry Christmas.
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I spent the morning visiting the grave of my mother.
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There were so many people at the cemetery.
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Laying flowers, crying, praying, laughing, alone, with their families.
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What struck me was what these people would do for just one more moment.
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One more moment with a person they loved dearly.
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Today, treasure your moments. Claim your moments. Make beautiful memories.
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Here are the greatest gifts you can give this Christmas.
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Love.
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Forgiveness.
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A warm hug.
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I love you all.
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#love #christmas #forgiveness #moments #peace #joy #christmasday
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NOT SO SOBER SEPTEMBER <span class="emoji emoji1f648"></span> It was my sincerest intention not to drink this month. <span class="emoji emoji1f377"></span> Long story short, ...
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NOT SO SOBER SEPTEMBER It was my sincerest intention not to drink this month. Long story short, I fucked it. Week 1 and I drank 3 times. Just like riding a bike though... if you fall off, you get straight back on. (Actually the last time I fell off my bike I tried to throw it in a canal, but ... NOT SO SOBER SEPTEMBER
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It was my sincerest intention not to drink this month.
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Long story short, I fucked it. Week 1 and I drank 3 times.
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Just like riding a bike though... if you fall off, you get straight back on. (Actually the last time I fell off my bike I tried to throw it in a canal, but that’s another story).
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As humans we fuck up. A lot. We set goals and don’t reach them, we make promises and break them. But that’s no reason to stop trying.
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If we judge ourselves against a standard of perfection and excellence, it can only end one way. Feeling like utter shite.
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So here’s a reminder, to treat yourself with love, respect, and forgiveness. And if you’ve fallen off the wagon, in any area of life, I’m here to tell you it’s ok, and to encourage you to get straight back on.
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#soberseptember #alcohol #wine #fuckedup #mistakes #forgiveness #progressnotperfection #tryagain #fallingdown #itsok #forgiveyourself #selflove #selfbelief #journeys #onedayatatime #growing #growingtogether
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ONE WEEK IN ITALY <span class="emoji emoji1f1ee1f1f9"></span> I have never been filled with so much joy, hope, and inspiration. (And a little ...
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ONE WEEK IN ITALY I have never been filled with so much joy, hope, and inspiration. (And a little bit of wine I didn’t mean to drink... more on that tomorrow!). It’s incredible how much just disconnecting can do. Not just from the internet, but also from our view of ourselves. 😎 On Day ... ONE WEEK IN ITALY
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I have never been filled with so much joy, hope, and inspiration. (And a little bit of wine I didn’t mean to drink... more on that tomorrow!).
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It’s incredible how much just disconnecting can do. Not just from the internet, but also from our view of ourselves.
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On Day 1 I introduced myself as “someone who isn’t very cool”. And was called out on it. Who does that? Who makes themselves small? I suppose we all do. I know I do, a lot. But I didn’t realise quite how bad it was.
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I saw so clearly the vision I have had for myself for a long time, my failings, mistakes, misgivings, short comings. And realised these things have become chains weighing down my own joy and creativity.
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Well... I have let that shit go. And it feels amazing. I didn’t realise I was walking around with such heavy baggage but my god it feels so great to put it down. How can you dance with chains around your ankles?
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Dearest @tienusmusic and @rosigolan, thank you so much for allowing me to be part of your writing camp. What you guys have created is a work of art in itself, and this experience has been life changing for me as I am sure it has for others! Wishing you health, hits, and happiness for the remainder of your time.
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To my roomies, @rachellouisemusic and @daimylotus I have so much love for you both! Thank you for being so incredible, I feel so grateful to have met you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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To everyone else... I love you all. Thank you for making this one of the best weeks of my entire life. @filousmusic, @kleimusic, @kelly_craige, @richjacques, @cradagram, @janieckofficial, @adamfriedmanmusic
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#campkimono2018 #songwriting #italy #tuscany #newfriends #joy #freedom #happiness #awakening #selfbelief #selfdiscovery #selflove #believeinyourself #family #hits #desire #creativity #disconnected
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Thank you so much to @arminvanbuuren and @rubenderonde for supporting my new one with @joelrhirsch on @asotlive 🏼🏼🏼 Thank you so much to @arminvanbuuren and @rubenderonde for supporting my new one with @joelrhirsch on @asotlive ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
WHEN IN ROME <span class="emoji emoji1f1ee1f1f9"></span> I’m attending a songwriting camp in Italy this week. As per usual, I left it until ...
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WHEN IN ROME I’m attending a songwriting camp in Italy this week. As per usual, I left it until last minute to book my flight. ️ When I went to book the day before departure, flights were £700 to fly from Amsterdam to Florence! Shit. 💭 Rather than punching a whole through the door in annoyance ... WHEN IN ROME
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I’m attending a songwriting camp in Italy this week. As per usual, I left it until last minute to book my flight.
✈️
When I went to book the day before departure, flights were £700 to fly from Amsterdam to Florence! Shit.
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Rather than punching a whole through the door in annoyance (I’ve done it before) and self flagellating for being so unorganised, I just went with it... these things happen, it’s all good, how else can I get to Florence?
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10 minutes later I had a cheap flight, and a travel plan. I was going to fly to Rome and train up from there for under £100.
🌅
My flight was really cheap, AKA really early. So I arrived in Rome at 9am.
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I’ve spent my spare hours walking along the River Tiber, and ended up at Vatican City! Somewhere I have always wanted to visit.

Now, I’m not saying every time things don’t go as you planned you’ll end up in Rome. BUT, it’s certainly worth thinking about. Even a second being annoyed at things not going to plan is wasted time. Time you could spend being HAPPY.
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Next time something doesn’t go to plan, try and let it go immediately, and see how you feel. And who knows, maybe the universe has a better plan for you anyway...
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#wheninrome #rome #italy #vatican #vaticancity #cheapflight #travelplans #letitgo #gowiththeflow #positivity #positivethinking #walking #sightseeing #letgoandletgod #lastminute #tourist #growingtogether #theuniversehasyourback
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SOBER SEPTEMBER <span class="emoji emoji1f377"></span> Who’s with me? 6️⃣7️⃣ I’ve been on a sober journey for 67 days! I’ve been aiming ...
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SOBER SEPTEMBER Who’s with me? 6️⃣7️⃣ I’ve been on a sober journey for 67 days! I’ve been aiming at progress not perfection. I’ve drunk on a few of those days. Some I regretted, some I didn’t. Either way, less alcohol in my life has been a godsend for so many reasons. Primarily, physical ... SOBER SEPTEMBER
🍷
Who’s with me?
6️⃣7️⃣
I’ve been on a sober journey for 67 days! I’ve been aiming at progress not perfection.
🍺
I’ve drunk on a few of those days. Some I regretted, some I didn’t. Either way, less alcohol in my life has been a godsend for so many reasons. Primarily, physical and emotional health.
❤️
Sober September seems like an amazing way to aim for 30 days totally booze free! I haven’t accomplished this so far on my journey. How about we do it together?
🏆
Honestly every day without alcohol feels like a victory, so imagine what a whole month will feel like!
❤️
Whether you feel like you need to give up alcohol completely, or just fancy giving your liver / wallet a break, let’s make this the month we do it together. Who’s with me?
📝
P.S. after posing with a wine bottle all I wanted to do was crack it open and have a glass... 🙈
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#soberseptember #sobriety #sober #soberlife #alcoholfree #september #alcohol #together #starttoday #drinkless #health #mentalhealth #hangovers #emotionalhealth #selflove #selfcare #selfdevelopment #wegotthis #growingtogether
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Happy birthday @marlomusic. Hands down one of my favourites to work with <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️<span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️<span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ have a beautiful ...
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Happy birthday @marlomusic. Hands down one of my favourites to work with ️ have a beautiful day xxx Happy birthday @marlomusic. Hands down one of my favourites to work with ❤️❤️❤️ have a beautiful day xxx
WORKING FROM HOME <span class="emoji emoji1f3e1"></span> Checklist: 1. no bra 2. haven’t showered 3. haven’t cleaned my teeth 4. ...
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WORKING FROM HOME Checklist: 1. no bra 2. haven’t showered 3. haven’t cleaned my teeth 4. ate breakfast and lunch in bed 5. on my fifth coffee ️ I love travelling of course, but also just love being at home. On my back, working from the bed or the sofa. It’s where most of my ideas actually ... WORKING FROM HOME
🏡
Checklist:
1. no bra
2. haven’t showered
3. haven’t cleaned my teeth
4. ate breakfast and lunch in bed
5. on my fifth coffee
✈️
I love travelling of course, but also just love being at home. On my back, working from the bed or the sofa. It’s where most of my ideas actually come from!
💅🏼
It’s by no means glamorous, but who has time for glamour when they are trying to change the world, and more importantly, themselves!
🌍
Today I’m mainly working on the @weareholywaters release package for Amsterdam which will be coming soon! Oh, and trying to figure out if writing a book is something I want to do and if this is the year to do it.
❤️
Where’s your favourite place to work and why?
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#workingfromhome #workingathome #pyjamas #pjamaday #breakfastinbed #coffee #messyhair #nomakeup #business #notglamorous #glamorous #workplace #femaleboss #selfemployed #selfemployment #behindthescene
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THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD 🗣 All of us have a voice two voices in our head. <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ One is our true self. <span class="emoji emoji1f616"></span> One ...
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THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD 🗣 All of us have a voice two voices in our head. ️ One is our true self. One is a raging maniac trying to trip us up at every single turn. Seriously. 💭 We wouldn’t watch a television show or listen to a radio show with an absolute lunatic spouting negativity would ... THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
🗣
All of us have a voice two voices in our head.
❤️
One is our true self.
😖
One is a raging maniac trying to trip us up at every single turn. Seriously.
💭
We wouldn’t watch a television show or listen to a radio show with an absolute lunatic spouting negativity would we? Yet we let that channel play TWENTY FOUR SEVEN in our own heads unsupervised.
👀
If you aren’t keeping an eye on this mad voice (the ego), then that voice is controlling your life.
📝
Here are some things that your ego will say:
-“go on, just press snooze. It’s too early. The day can wait.”
-“you don’t need to workout today, you deserve a rest, and it’s raining, just go tomorrow”
-“are you sure you’re on the right path, feels wrong to me...”
-“this person really doesn’t like you”
🔊
The list is endless.
🙉
Are you listening to this voice? Are you even aware it is talking?
🛑
Becoming aware of it is the first step to getting it under control, and to make decisions based on your true self, not your ego. Unfortunately the voice will never go away completely.
👊🏽 Be we can definitely put up a great fight.
🏆
Next time you hear the voice, notice it, see how it’s trying to stop you evolving, and choose to ignore it and act from your true self. Your true self will never act out of fear, jealousy, stress, desire, and any other low energy. It will always be peaceful, joyful, energetic, and positive.
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#theego #ego #voices #mind #mindful #freewill #mindset #awareness #meditation #selflove #selfdevelopment #growing #growth #personalgrowth
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GETTING MY MOJO BACK <span class="emoji emoji1f64f"></span>🏼 After feeling a little down, overwhelmed, and lacking in energy. I feel ...
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GETTING MY MOJO BACK 🏼 After feeling a little down, overwhelmed, and lacking in energy. I feel like I am back today and I am so, so happy. Sharing with you a few things I did, I can’t tell you which one helped, maybe it was a combination, I hope some of these can help you too. ️ GRATITUDE: ... GETTING MY MOJO BACK
🙏🏼
After feeling a little down, overwhelmed, and lacking in energy. I feel like I am back today and I am so, so happy.
😄
Sharing with you a few things I did, I can’t tell you which one helped, maybe it was a combination, I hope some of these can help you too.
❤️
GRATITUDE: there is something magic about the energy of true gratitude. It can transform any mood. I’ve been dancing around the house being thankful for friends, family, feet, floors, music, food, social media, eyes, ears, running water... you name it I was saying thank you to it this AM and I felt an immediate shift! Just saying thank you isn’t enough... you have to feel it! They’ll be a grin on your face, a spring in your step, and perhaps a tear in your eye.
💅🏼
SELF CARE: from face masks to essential oils I have gone HAM on self care. I can’t say there was an instant shift in the same way as gratitude, but it feels so nice to take actions which say “you are worthy of love and being treated well”.
🍭
RATIONAL CHOICES: I have wanted to skip my workouts and reach for the junk food. I can be an emotional eater and often binge when feeling low. This time I didn’t do it. I have eaten healthy snacks, drunk lots of water, and got myself exercising with zero motivation. You feel like a warrior doing these things when they are hard. And of course we avoid the sugar crashes of binges!
💭
BEING PRESENT: I’ve been slipping into future thoughts. What if I fail? What if I can’t pay this bill? What if I’ve taken on too much? What if I’m on the wrong path? Life has been expanding at the speed of light and that started to feel scary. So, I’m not thinking about anything other than right now. A long breath in. A face mask on. My little dog next to me. In this moment I am fulfilled and peaceful.
❤️
Please share any tips you have for getting your mojo back so we can help each other.
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#selflove #selfcare #selfcareday #gratitude #mojo #feelingbetter #lifeisbeautiful #facemask #exercise #exerciseformentalhealth #stress #worrying #worry #mindfulness #mindful #mentalhealth #depression #overwhelmed #anixety
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IT’S HARD TODAY <span class="emoji emoji1f44b"></span>🏼 I don’t feel like I’m in the flow energy. <span class="emoji emoji1f30a"></span> I feel like I am forcing things a little. <span class="emoji emoji1f4b5"></span> ...
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IT’S HARD TODAY 🏼 I don’t feel like I’m in the flow energy. I feel like I am forcing things a little. There’s some financial things on my mind, it’s possibly related to that. ️ It’s also just been hard being back from a few days out of my routine. 🛋 Honestly all I want to do is lay down ... IT’S HARD TODAY
👋🏼
I don’t feel like I’m in the flow energy.
🌊
I feel like I am forcing things a little.
💵
There’s some financial things on my mind, it’s possibly related to that.
⛺️
It’s also just been hard being back from a few days out of my routine.
🛋
Honestly all I want to do is lay down on the sofa all night.

And then what does tomorrow look like? More of the same. Do I want that? Nope.
🧘‍♀️
I’m going to meditate. Go swimming. Workout. Eat a healthy meal. Read. And get a good nights sleep. I don’t feel like doing any of these things. But I know they will get me back in my flow. Taking action when we don’t want to is the secret sauce to self improvement.
😁
I am so used to living in an extremely peaceful, energised, and joyful state recently that I really notice when something is off. That in fact, makes me very grateful, for the abundance of happiness I am living in.
❤️
Love to anyone having a bad day. And sending you encouragement to take rational actions to make things better tomorrow. I know it’s hard. Let’s get up together, and march on.
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#badday #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #stress #routine #habits #badhabits #goodhabits #sofa #lyingdown #meditation #gym #swimming #selfimprovement #selflove #selfcare #growing #trying
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AN UPDATE ON SOBRIETY <span class="emoji emoji1f377"></span> I messed up. 6️⃣2️⃣ I have drunk twice in 3 days. Once with my Dad on Friday ...
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AN UPDATE ON SOBRIETY I messed up. 6️⃣2️⃣ I have drunk twice in 3 days. Once with my Dad on Friday night, and once with Marwen last night. Making my total 5 days out of 62. I know why I drunk on both nights. I know the emotions and decisions that got me there. And it’s ok. I’m still learning. ... AN UPDATE ON SOBRIETY
🍷
I messed up.
6️⃣2️⃣
I have drunk twice in 3 days. Once with my Dad on Friday night, and once with Marwen last night. Making my total 5 days out of 62.

I know why I drunk on both nights. I know the emotions and decisions that got me there. And it’s ok. I’m still learning. But what’s been more interesting is why I have struggled to share it...
📱
I’ve been sharing so much of my journey in fitness and sobriety with you. The ups, downs, struggles, failures and victories. So why this time was it harder? Where was my self flagellating Instagram story about my mistakes?
💭
I think that our egos love to mess with us wherever they can. For a long time my ego had me living as a functioning alcoholic, drug taker, and self harmer. And now? My ego wants me to come across as perfect, someone who smashes fitness and sobriety goals with ease, and inspires others to “life their best life” because mine is so amazing.
😂
I didn’t want to share my failure with you, because my ego was starting to feel superior by all the good steps I have been taking. And making a mistake didn’t fit this new narrative it wants me in.
👋🏼
Well, ego. Fuck you.
👊🏽
There is only one narrative I want to share. And that’s the authentic one. I will keep fighting everyday so that you are not in control of my life. I will share my failures as often as I share my successes. I will call you out when I notice you.
🙉
When you tell me I am a fraud I won’t listen. When you tell me I am a failure I won’t listen. When you tell me not to share the struggle I will not listen.
❤️
I am a human being. I will make mistakes. But believe me when I say, I will learn from them, and I will push forward.
🧠
A reminder today that ego is ever present. We never conquer it. Anytime you feel anything other than total joy, love, inspiration... it’s operating.
🙏🏼
It’s ok to do something you didn’t plan. To go a little off course. You aren’t a failure, you’re human. Love yourself enough to find forgiveness, and get back up again.
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#sober #soberlife #sobriety #transformation #ego #mindset #authenticity #socialmedia #keepgoing #keepgrowing #truth #mistakes
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LETTING GO OF CONTROL <span class="emoji emoji1f44b"></span>🏼 I am generally a very heart driven person. “Going with the flow” is something ...
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LETTING GO OF CONTROL 🏼 I am generally a very heart driven person. “Going with the flow” is something I truly believe in. But with work, I can sometimes become very controlling, and it’s a behaviour I would like to change. It’s 100% from my ego, and not my true nature. It sounds like this: 💭 ... LETTING GO OF CONTROL
👋🏼
I am generally a very heart driven person. “Going with the flow” is something I truly believe in. But with work, I can sometimes become very controlling, and it’s a behaviour I would like to change. It’s 100% from my ego, and not my true nature. It sounds like this:
💭
The artwork must be perfect. The release must go exactly to plan. The upload must be at this time. Things must be done MY WAY. The right way. Here’s a story...

It was the last day of our video shoot in Snowdon, and I was suddenly overcome with anxiety: we hadn’t yet got a shot of us on top of a mountain! Rain and wind had stopped us achieving this. Without this, the video is a FAILURE. We must climb a mountain NOW. My brain turned negative, fast. Why didn’t anyone hear what I was saying? Did no one else care? The video is going to be ruined. Why am I being so controlling. I’m right though. Ugh, I hate this.
☕️
We couldn’t agree on a course of action, so ended up going for coffee and food and I managed to relax, enjoy the moment and feel true gratitude. Who cares about the top of the mountain shot. We don’t need it anyway. It’s been an incredible week.
🧗‍♀️
After lunch we went to visit another shoot location. An abandoned quarry. Whilst there, the rainy skies we had experienced all week vanished. We were greeted by blue skies.
⛅️
We decided to climb the mountain where we were, why not. So up we went, without hope of agenda, guided by the weather.
🌅
2 hours later, 900m high, we witnessed a small miracle. The sun began to set, the whole valley turned orange, the glow was phenomenal, there was a curtain of rain around us, a double rainbow to our left, a cloud city in front of us. There we stood, mesmerised. It was more spectacular than any of us could have planned.
🙏🏼
The point? God (the universe / divine source / energy) KNOWS BETTER THAN WE DO. Had I followed my controlling energy and climbed earlier in the day we would have missed it. I am going to work on walking in faith and intuition.
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#control #controlling #selfimprovement #selfdevelopment #faith #letgo #letgoandletgod #miracle #ego #sunset #snowdon #mountaintop #personalgrowth
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MOMENTUM 🔄 I’ve just got back from 5 incredible days camping with the @weareholywaters crew. <span class="emoji emoji26fa"></span>️ It ...
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MOMENTUM 🔄 I’ve just got back from 5 incredible days camping with the @weareholywaters crew. ️ It was incredible, but I wasn’t able to stick to my workouts. I have been on a set plan the last few weeks working with @ryanmackinsbodybuilding and in all honesty I was not looking forward to ... MOMENTUM
🔄
I’ve just got back from 5 incredible days camping with the @weareholywaters crew.
⛺️
It was incredible, but I wasn’t able to stick to my workouts. I have been on a set plan the last few weeks working with @ryanmackinsbodybuilding and in all honesty I was not looking forward to getting out of my routine for 5 days.
🛏
Waking up this morning after an epic 10 hour sleep in a proper bed, I thought I’d be excited to get to the gym. But the voice screaming at me not to go was LOUD this morning. Not as loud as it was when I began my journey but the loudest it’s been for a while.
📢
“You are too tired to go”
“You’ve missed a week what’s one more day”
“Just start again tomorrow”
“You need to recover”
“You deserve rest”

Why was that? Well... it comes down to momentum. For over 3 months I have gathered momentum forwards and upwards. Improving my physical and mental health. Each day I went to the gym and ate like I loved my body, I got stronger, and my ego got quieter.
5️⃣
Just 5 days away from my routine was enough to gather momentum in the other direction.
🔝
We tend to view gathering momentum in a positive light. But it’s very important to remember that momentum works both ways. Each time you don’t go to the gym, or eat well, we are gathering momentum in the opposite direction! Making those choices exponentially more powerful and ultimately dangerous to us.
🛑
There is no such thing as stationary. You are either moving towards the best version of you, or away from it.
🌲
By no means am I saying I regret my days camping. It was an incredible trip, with miracles, inspiring people, nature, god, art, and tests. But, I do notice that I empowered my ego over this time.
🏋🏼‍♀️
I pushed myself to get to the gym today, and I am so happy I did. I’m sending you encouragement today to get it done. Empower yourself to gain momentum in the direction you want to go.
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#progress #momentum #ego #transformation #dedication #weightloss #girlswithmuscle #gymlife #instafit #trainhard #exercise #fitnessjourney #weightlossjourney #muscles #strength #hardwork #noexcuses #lift #strong
#mindset #ambition #positive #positivity #mindset #keepgoing #vegan #veganweightloss
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I’m in the middle of a 5 day camping trip with the @weareholywaters crew! <span class="emoji emoji26fa"></span>️ We’ve got limited internet ...
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I’m in the middle of a 5 day camping trip with the @weareholywaters crew! ️ We’ve got limited internet and all I can say is... sometimes you really do have to disconnect to connect. 🌲 We’re having epic conversations about life and getting to know each other a lot better. No one’s on their ... I’m in the middle of a 5 day camping trip with the @weareholywaters crew!
⛺️
We’ve got limited internet and all I can say is... sometimes you really do have to disconnect to connect.
🌲
We’re having epic conversations about life and getting to know each other a lot better. No one’s on their phone. Not out of choice! But because we have no service!
😂
Highly recommending a few days off, a few days in nature. It does something special to you mind.
🌧
We’ve been caught in thunder storms, slept on a mountain in 30mph winds, and loved every moment of it!
💅🏼
It’s mad to think that I hated camping, or at least the idea of it! If I wasn’t in a 5* hotel I’d be whining. And the thought of hiking through rain?! Hell on Earth!
❤️
Just another reminder that heaven on earth is a mind set, not a place, and with self awareness we can change our “personalities”. No one, or no thing, can make us feel anything. Our feelings are a choice.
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#snowden #holywaters #tramcefamily #hiking #climbing #camping #rocks #connect #disconnect #mentalhealth #conversation #nointernet #nophones #campingtrip #timeslikethese #joy #clouds #snowdonia #happiness #mindovermatter #personality #glowup
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WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM COMPUTER PROGRAMMING <span class="emoji emoji1f4bb"></span> I’m staying with some great friends here in the UK. ...
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WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM COMPUTER PROGRAMMING I’m staying with some great friends here in the UK. One of them is a computer programmer! He made a rather incredible analogy today that I wanted to share with you. ️ In coding, while building sites or apps, an “error” message can occur. There ... WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM COMPUTER PROGRAMMING
💻
I’m staying with some great friends here in the UK. One of them is a computer programmer! He made a rather incredible analogy today that I wanted to share with you.
❤️
In coding, while building sites or apps, an “error” message can occur. There are two ways to fix this.
1️⃣
Create a new piece of code to cover it up. The error is actually still happening, but you won’t see it. It’s the easiest way to fix a problem.
2️⃣
Search deep into the original code, and find the source of the error and fix that. It’s a lot longer and harder to do it this way but it is the only way to truly fix the problem.
💭
Our brains can show error messages too. Depression, anxiety, low self worth.
💊
When we self medicate with drugs or alcohol, or take prescription medication, we are covering up the error message so it no longer shows up. But we are not fixing the problems in the deep down code.
🧠
Our brains run on electricity. And we run on programming. Granted we are a lot more complex than computers, but on a simple level, we were coded throughout childhood to run, and react a certain way.
❤️
Medication can be a really important tool. A life saving tool in many instances. But we must look deeper into our human psyche to find true healing.
👶🏼
What childhood experiences did you go through that stole your joy? What experiences put you in a grief energy? What made you feel unworthy or unloved? It’s time to unpack those. To heal the hurting child, with radical self love.
🤓
It’s time to start coding our lives.
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#coding #computerprogramming #depression #anxiety #selfworth #lowselfworth #lowselfesteem #selfesteem #trauma #childhoodtrauma #recovery #healing #brokenbrain #mentalhealth #selfmedication #doctors #pharmaceutical #errormessage #bandaid #parents #grief #radicalselflove
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The first track from @weareholywaters is out now ️ link in my biography if you would like to check it out. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #holywaters #holycircle #ciaranmcauley #roxanneemery #trancefamily #trance #vocaltrance #newmusic #teaser #edmfamily #edm #classictrance #amsterdam ... The first track from @weareholywaters is out now ❤️ link in my biography if you would like to check it out.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#holywaters #holycircle #ciaranmcauley #roxanneemery #trancefamily #trance #vocaltrance #newmusic #teaser
#edmfamily #edm #classictrance #amsterdam #dancemusic #teamwork #friday #spotify #beatport #thankyou #newmusic
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WHAT I LEARNT LAST NIGHT <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ I was back at my hotel. It had been an amazing day! The release of new music, ...
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WHAT I LEARNT LAST NIGHT ️ I was back at my hotel. It had been an amazing day! The release of new music, reaching health milestones, and writing a new song. I was high on life. Then it hit me. I wanted a drink. I needed a drink. I deserved a drink. Just one. Ok maximum two. Then bed. But what about ... WHAT I LEARNT LAST NIGHT
❤️
I was back at my hotel. It had been an amazing day! The release of new music, reaching health milestones, and writing a new song. I was high on life.
🏡
Then it hit me. I wanted a drink. I needed a drink. I deserved a drink. Just one. Ok maximum two. Then bed. But what about sobriety? I won’t be drunk so technically it’s fine. What about everything you say on being happier not drinking? That’s great but tonight I just need wine.
🍷
Despite everything I know, everything I believe, everything I am working towards there is part of me that wants to destroy that. And last night I was about to walk to the bar. I received an out of the blue phone call from @haliene , told her what was happening and she helped me with some incredible advice.
🛀
I ended up having a camomile tea and a long bath. My craving was gone. The voice of self destruction was silenced, for now.
☯️
The point of all of this? Had she not called at that moment I would have drunk last night. I’d be writing a very different message to you today. And that would have been ok. After all, healing is not black and white. It’s a journey we commit to walking each day and sometimes we take a misstep.
💭
I wanted to share this more as food for thought. As to how interesting human psyche can be. We can know something truly with our hearts and our rational mind but sometimes another voice takes over. This is the ego trying to stop us from growing, a voice of destruction waiting to set us off course. Think of these examples:
1. we know smoking causes cancer, but we still do it
2. we know processed meat causes cancer, but we still eat it
3. we know eating healthily will help us reach our goals but we reach for the crisps
4. we know exercising is good for us but we sit watching Netflix
5. we know Class A drugs are bad for us but we’ll snort away if others are doing it
👹
There are countless examples. As humans we seem to be capable of fully ignoring the negative impact of our actions. Why do you think that is?
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#drinking #sobriety #friends #mentalhealth #recovery #alcohol #selfdestructive #ego #journey #newbeginnings #humans #thepowerofthemind #mindovermatter #selfesteem
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TODAY IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ The first song for @weareholywaters has been released. <span class="emoji emoji1f30a"></span> I have ...
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TODAY IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY ️ The first song for @weareholywaters has been released. I have worked in trance in some way for over a decade. Whether it’s as a singer, songwriter, fan, manager, or green room coke doer. 🏼 Last year life changed direction for me in a major way. I lost my career, ... TODAY IS A VERY SPECIAL DAY
❤️
The first song for @weareholywaters has been released.
🌊
I have worked in trance in some way for over a decade. Whether it’s as a singer, songwriter, fan, manager, or green room coke doer.
🙏🏼
Last year life changed direction for me in a major way. I lost my career, my best friends, my financial stability, my most treasured relationships. Almost one year ago I sat in a drunken stupor cutting into my arms with scissors and screaming that I wanted life to stop.
😣
Now everything makes sense. All of the pain. I understand why it happened. And I am grateful.
💔
I was a heartbroken artist whose self esteem had been beaten down by failures, my own personal shortcomings, and surrounding myself with low energies.
💪🏽
I never would have stepped into the light. How could such a loser be an artist? Whatever IT was, I didn’t have it.
🎊
Today I celebrate stepping into the light, not fighting my fears, but gently understanding them and healing their root cause.
🌊
To anyone who is following us, supporting us, sharing the record, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are allowing me to step into my true identity and for that I am forever grateful.
🙏🏼
For anybody struggling with self doubt, failure, low self esteem or feeling like life isn’t worth living please hear me. I have walked in your shoes. And today I walk beside you. Every gift you have is yours for a reason and every passion you want to follow is uniquely yours for a reason. You have the power to try again, to be whoever you dream of, and to start a new life.

At 32 I felt I was too old. Too fat. Too far gone. At 33 I have been re-born.
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#holywaters #holycircle #secondchances #personalgrowth #failure #depression #selfharm #selfharmrecovery #artist #singer #trancefamily #newbeginnings #selfbelief #lowselfesteem #tooold #identity #dreams #selfbelief
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DAY 1 vs. DAY 90 <span class="emoji emoji1f631"></span> I had accepted my body for what it was. After all, I was in my 30’s, my metabolism ...
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DAY 1 vs. DAY 90 I had accepted my body for what it was. After all, I was in my 30’s, my metabolism was slow, I just wasn’t naturally slim... I held these beliefs as facts. Realising that these things were not facts, but choices has been life changing. ️ I’ve been thinking a lot about self ... DAY 1 vs. DAY 90
😱
I had accepted my body for what it was. After all, I was in my 30’s, my metabolism was slow, I just wasn’t naturally slim... I held these beliefs as facts. Realising that these things were not facts, but choices has been life changing.
❤️
I’ve been thinking a lot about self love recently. I am someone who self harmed until their thirties, who drank to blackout a few times a week, used class A drugs regularly, who would live in absolutely squalid conditions... at its core, this shows a lack of self respect and love. Perhaps I wanted to punish myself. For failures throughout my life, for guilt I have carried with me for a long time.
💭
This journey began by deciding that I deserved better. By seeing my end goal. By not allowing any excuses to get in my way. It has been a fist fight with my mind / ego trying to keep me trapped in this body. Realising you can totally ignore the screaming voice in your head is a superpower! “Go tomorrow” “it’s too early” “just one drink”...
💪🏽
Month 1 I just tried to do a little better, month 2 I started going to this gym. This month I took things to a new level. Alongside an incredible coach @ryanmackinsbodybuilding who I have been working with for the last few weeks I dedicated myself to a new training and nutrition plan. Ryan, I can’t thank you enough for your amazing work, creating a vegan plan for me, and always being there when I need advice!
🚀
I would have described myself as having ZERO self discipline. In all areas of my life. For years. Now I can confidently say I am disciplined. It isn’t a personality trait, it’s a choice. Like everything else.
🎥
You can watch the journey of month 1, 2 and 3 in my story highlights!
🎊
I simply cannot wait for month 4! My goal is to stay 100% sober, get a six pack, and to encourage others who don’t believe they can make a change to do so! Because if this chubby potato can do it, anyone can!
❤️
Thank you for being part of my journey xxx
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#transformationtuesday #transformation #weightloss #weightlosstransformation #beforeandafter #beforeandafterweightloss #vegan #veganweightloss #veganism #strongwomen #strongnotskinny #selfesteem #selflove #bodygoals
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A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT 💭 If you hold the door open for someone, and they don’t say thank you, do you ...
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A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT 💭 If you hold the door open for someone, and they don’t say thank you, do you get annoyed? ️ I know I certainly do... my reaction is a sliding scale from 1-10. With 1 being tutting under my breath, and 10 being shouting thank you at them loudly and then continuing to be ... A THOUGHT EXPERIMENT
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If you hold the door open for someone, and they don’t say thank you, do you get annoyed?
⁉️
I know I certainly do... my reaction is a sliding scale from 1-10. With 1 being tutting under my breath, and 10 being shouting thank you at them loudly and then continuing to be pissed off about if for a whole day.
🙃
That’s quite interesting isn’t it? Literally giving my mental state over to a complete stranger... and by interesting I mean stupid.
😛
We shouldn’t give expecting to receive. That kind of diminishes the whole act of giving... The joy should be holding the door open for someone, in helping someone, not whether they say thank you.
🚪
Of course, it’s nice when someone is polite, but if you are truly opening the door for someone because you want a “thank you”, that’s your ego acting and not your soul.
🤟🏼
Next time you open the door to someone and they don’t say thanks, smile, wish them well, and move on.
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#doors #manners #bepolite #thoughtexperiment #personalgrowth #reaction #calm #meditation #helpingothers #helping #mentalhealth #thankyou #gratitude #annoyed #beincontrol #hotel #hats
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CELEBRATING 50 DAYS OF SOBRIETY <span class="emoji emoji1f389"></span> I never, ever, ever, thought I would make this decision. <span class="emoji emoji1f377"></span> Alcohol ...
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CELEBRATING 50 DAYS OF SOBRIETY I never, ever, ever, thought I would make this decision. Alcohol was a HUGE part of my personality. At least I thought it was... actually is was just a large part of my coping mechanism. It hasn’t been plain sailing, and I’ve falling off the wagon three ... CELEBRATING 50 DAYS OF SOBRIETY
🎉
I never, ever, ever, thought I would make this decision.
🍷
Alcohol was a HUGE part of my personality. At least I thought it was... actually is was just a large part of my coping mechanism.
😱
It hasn’t been plain sailing, and I’ve falling off the wagon three times. You can watch my journey in my Highlights under “sobriety”.
🎈
There are days when I miss drinking a lot. Winding down with a glass of wine, or getting savage on tequila. I have had some rather awesome, if a little hazy, memories of alcohol.
💪🏽
But here’s what’s keeping me strong.
1. No hangovers
2. Stable mental health
3. No self harm
4. No screaming rows with Marwen
5. No texting and regretting
6. No sickness
7. No beer belly
8. No saying things I regret to people I know
9. No saying things I regret to people I don’t know
10. Extreme focus
11. Much more free time for work, physical, and mental health
12. No reckless drunken spending (fuck it let’s get a bottle of Dom 🍾)
❤️
When I look at the positives vs negatives, it’s simple to decide to keep going, simple doesn’t always mean easy though.
💭
I haven’t been to AA yet. I’m not quite sure why. Perhaps I’m not ready to admit I need it, perhaps I’m scared it means giving up what has been a fundamental part of my life for so long. Either way, the journey continues.
🙏🏼
Thank you to @iamhess who over a chat about health having coffee, lit a spark in me that has changed my life, and imparted the words I hold very dear “progress not perfection”.
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#sober #sobriety #50dayssober #selfharm #hangovers #mentalhealth #focus #alcohol #whitewine #tequila #thingsimiss #progress #progressnotperfection #celebrating #angerissues #beerbelly #regrets #aa #recovery #gratitude #alcoholism
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Our first mix is up! 🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼 some absolute trance beauties in here! Link in bio. Please do follow @weareholywaters ...
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Our first mix is up! 🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼 some absolute trance beauties in here! Link in bio. Please do follow @weareholywaters thank you! Our first mix is up! 🤟🏼🤟🏼🤟🏼 some absolute trance beauties in here! Link in bio. Please do follow @weareholywaters thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
WHAT I LEARNT TODAY <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ Never say never... 😀 A few months ago I bought these jeans from @primark. ...
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WHAT I LEARNT TODAY ️ Never say never... 😀 A few months ago I bought these jeans from @primark. They had been mislabelled so I thought I was buying a size 12. When I got them home I realised they were an 8. Who the HELL fits these things?! Lying on my back on the floor, wriggling my body and ... WHAT I LEARNT TODAY
❤️
Never say never...
😀
A few months ago I bought these jeans from @primark. They had been mislabelled so I thought I was buying a size 12. When I got them home I realised they were an 8. Who the HELL fits these things?!
👖
Lying on my back on the floor, wriggling my body and tugging the waist as high as it could go I had a thought...
💭
“These will never fit.”
🛑
I put them in the back of my wardrobe, knowing I couldn’t be bothered to return them. And forgot about them.
🙈
Searching for something to wear today (and creating a floordrobe in the process), I found them. And decided to give them a try.
🤔
3 months of living well and the jeans I truly believed would “never ever fit” now do!
🤟🏼
Granted they’re a little snug, see photo 2 of my chub pertruding from the rips. But all in all, I’m happy.
😀
The point of all this... never say never. Whatever you say is impossible will be exactly that. Whatever you believe you can achieve, you can make reality.
⭐️
Figure out why you don’t think you can get that job, lose the weight, overcome depression. It’s often a program we learnt in childhood. The minute we can see our behaviour and beliefs as fully changeable, we take control.
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#primark #jeans #floordrobe #weightloss #weightlossjourney #adidasoriginals #size8 #size12 #selfbelief #positivity #bodypositive #vegan #veganweightloss #manifest #selfbelief #selfesteem #neversaynever #glowup #believeinyourself
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WILL POWER . I used to believe it was something I didn’t have. . I’d look at other people sticking ...
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WILL POWER . I used to believe it was something I didn’t have. . I’d look at other people sticking to their diets, training plans, or working towards life goals, and say “wow they have amazing will power”. . But will power isn’t something we have. It’s something we choose. . You can have ... WILL POWER
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I used to believe it was something I didn’t have.
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I’d look at other people sticking to their diets, training plans, or working towards life goals, and say “wow they have amazing will power”.
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But will power isn’t something we have. It’s something we choose.
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You can have will power.
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You just have to make a choice and stick to it. Sounds simple right? Well, it is. Other than one big problem...
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Your own mind.
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“I’m too tired to go today”
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“I’ll start tomorrow”
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“I’m just going to have one slice”
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“Just 5 more minutes in bed”
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Just over 3 months ago the majority of my day was spent in bed watching Netflix.
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My lifestyle was sedentary.
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Everyday I chose what was easy because I believed I didn’t have will power. That was reserved for other people. I did the bare minimum work wise. I couldn’t wait to get into bed. To binge watch a new season. Day after day.
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Now I know I can chose will power.
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And you can too.
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The more you ignore your own ego / mind and just take action, the easier it gets.
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This unflattering photo of me was taken today at the gym on a bike ride. It was HARD. My brain was screaming at me to stop. But I know I can ignore anything in my brain.
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Learning to ignore the voice in your head is the single most powerful tool for your mental and physical health.
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Have you got will power? Are you willing to choose it?
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#willpower #determination #cycling #mindovermatter #grit #vegan #veganfitness #triathlontraining #triathlete #sprinttriathlon #justdoit #fitnessmotivation #goals #fitnessgoals #mentalhealth #physicalhealth #weightlossjourney #weightloss #veganweightloss #sweat
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Thank you so much @trytobelove_ for sending me this beautiful t-shirt! Absolutely love what you ...
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Thank you so much @trytobelove_ for sending me this beautiful t-shirt! Absolutely love what you stand for Thank you so much @trytobelove_ for sending me this beautiful t-shirt! Absolutely love what you stand for ❤️❤️❤️
FOR INSTA VS. FOR REALS . I like both <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ . I wish we saw a little more of photo 2 online though <span class="emoji emoji1f60a"></span> . I ...
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FOR INSTA VS. FOR REALS . I like both ️ . I wish we saw a little more of photo 2 online though . I dare you...tag me if you post! . . . . . . . #facetune #filters #unfiltered #realme #airbrushing #beforeandafter #veganism #posture #fake #dare #challenge #vegan #selfesteem #therealme ... FOR INSTA VS. FOR REALS
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I like both ❤️
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I wish we saw a little more of photo 2 online though 😊
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I dare you...tag me if you post! .
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#facetune #filters #unfiltered #realme #airbrushing #beforeandafter #veganism #posture #fake #dare #challenge #vegan #selfesteem #therealme #bodypositivity #bodyimage #bodypositive #bodygoals #selfworth #glowup #perfection #imperfection #imperfect
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<span class="emoji emoji1f4f7"></span> @rowanwhile
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@rowanwhile 📷 @rowanwhile
WHAT I LEARNT TODAY . That we are start somewhere. . Here’s an amazing Plato quote: “never discourage ...
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WHAT I LEARNT TODAY . That we are start somewhere. . Here’s an amazing Plato quote: “never discourage anyone who continually makes progress no matter how slow”. . When I dusted off my trainers and started running a coupe of months ago, I felt inadequate. I was so slow! Surely I wasn’t ... WHAT I LEARNT TODAY
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That we are start somewhere.
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Here’s an amazing Plato quote: “never discourage anyone who continually makes progress no matter how slow”.
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When I dusted off my trainers and started running a coupe of months ago, I felt inadequate. I was so slow! Surely I wasn’t worthy of calling myself a runner of being out on the road?
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But of course I was slow! I was just starting out?!
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Remember when you learned to tie your shoe laces? You didn’t get it first time... or second time. But now you don’t even think about it. Imagine if you had given up on the 4th try “tying shoe laces just isn’t for me”. “My fingers aren’t made for this”.
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Effort and struggle comes first. That’s how we make something a habit, and it becomes second nature. I want choosing health to become second nature to me, so I’m putting in the work.
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I was pretty slow on my run today. And I loved every second of it! Being slow means I am trying, learning, and improving.
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#running #plato #fitnessjourney #progressnotperfection #progress #selflove #selfimprovement #vegan #vondelpark #fitness #fitnessmotivation #runnersofinstagram
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WHAT I LEARNT TODAY . The importance of perspective. . Awaiting my flight in the UK I heard the ...
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WHAT I LEARNT TODAY . The importance of perspective. . Awaiting my flight in the UK I heard the news that the wrong artwork has been uploaded for the debut @weareholywaters single. . Initial reactions? “FFS” “this can’t happen” “let’s pull the release” “it needs to be right”. . Mistakes ... WHAT I LEARNT TODAY
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The importance of perspective.
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Awaiting my flight in the UK I heard the news that the wrong artwork has been uploaded for the debut @weareholywaters single.
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Initial reactions? “FFS” “this can’t happen” “let’s pull the release” “it needs to be right”.
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Mistakes happen ALL the time in our industry.
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Wrong artwork, wrong release date, wrong territories, wrong titles, wrong artists linked to it etc.
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We don’t often talk about it. I’m not sure why? Perhaps equal parts wanting to look like we have our shit together and not wanting to blame someone publicly for the error.
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Either way... this stole my peace of mind.
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I tried deep breathing, I tried the let go technique, but my ego would not let this go.
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I boarded my flight, and the in the air had some of the worst turbulence I have experienced in years.
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I’m not a great flyer at the best of times, so during turbulence you can imagine the sweating mess I become 😂
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In those moments of true fear, the last thing on my mind was the text used on an artwork...
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Our peace of mind and our lives are worth so much more than our perfectionism.
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By no means am I saying standards do not matter. They do. We want to give you the absolute best work we can, that is going to be our legacy. But I don’t ever want to lose my peace of mind for it.
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What techniques do you use to regain your peace in times of stress?
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#peace #stress #letgo #turbulence #artwork #recordlabels #amsterdam #selfimprovement #holywaters #stressrelief #peaceofmind #perspective #socialmedia #positivity #response #flying #learning #growing #personalgrowth
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1 year ago with @marlomusic <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ the shows that got me singing again. Forever grateful to be part of ...
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1 year ago with @marlomusic ️ the shows that got me singing again. Forever grateful to be part of such incredible events 🏼 looking forward to getting back there for the #tranceletics debut with @jano_music_ 1 year ago with @marlomusic ❤️ the shows that got me singing again. Forever grateful to be part of such incredible events 🙏🏼 looking forward to getting back there for the #tranceletics debut with @jano_music_
Two people I would like to introduce you to. . @graham.j.phipps the manager of @weareholywaters ...
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Two people I would like to introduce you to. . @graham.j.phipps the manager of @weareholywaters . He works tirelessly to make out creative visions possible, is full of energy, positivity, drive, ambition and PASSION. This project would not work without him and we are so very lucky to have ... Two people I would like to introduce you to.
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@graham.j.phipps the manager of @weareholywaters . He works tirelessly to make out creative visions possible, is full of energy, positivity, drive, ambition and PASSION. This project would not work without him and we are so very lucky to have him as the backbone to what we do.
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@rowanwhile is the creative director of @weareholywaters. Rowans creativity is like nothing I have ever seen, being in a meeting with him or on a shoot with him is truly eye opening. He pushes us to not just create art, but become art, which sometimes means paddling in water in Virginia Water 😂
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These two are the other half of the group. The yin to our yang.
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Everything you see, and will see from us, is the collective work of 4 people ❤️
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WHAT I LEARNT TODAY . 1. CHOOSING NOT TO BE STRESSED: when I arrived at the airport my flight was ...
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WHAT I LEARNT TODAY . 1. CHOOSING NOT TO BE STRESSED: when I arrived at the airport my flight was cancelled. Normally this would result in a ruined day. “Why me” etc. Instead I just let it be ️ we can choose how we respond to any situation. Stress is a choice. 2. GRATITUDE: I am so happy that I ... WHAT I LEARNT TODAY
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1. CHOOSING NOT TO BE STRESSED: when I arrived at the airport my flight was cancelled. Normally this would result in a ruined day. “Why me” etc. Instead I just let it be ☺️ we can choose how we respond to any situation. Stress is a choice.
2. GRATITUDE: I am so happy that I was able to get booked onto another flight! The people of @british_airways were really helpful and even gave me a free 15EURO voucher for food and drinks.
3. SELF CONTROL: I had already eaten lunch. But... free food? I decided to give my voucher away. Just because food is free, doesn’t mean we need to eat it. I choose to eat food that is optimal for me, not just available to me.
4. TRIGGERS: the airport is an alcohol trigger for me. The old rule was it was ok to drink at any time if I was flying. Something about the airport reminds me of no rules, and getting drunk. Swerved it with a coffee and I’m glad to know about it so I can be more prepared in future.
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Have you learnt anything interesting today?
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#socialmedia #missedflight #positivity #stress #stressed #response #reaction #selfcontrol #meditation #freefood #britishairways #grateful #missedflight #airports #sober #soberlife #triggers #happiness
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For insta vs. for reals <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ . Social media tends to favour the airbrushed / edited images. . We ...
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For insta vs. for reals ️ . Social media tends to favour the airbrushed / edited images. . We blame social media for a lot these days don’t we... . But what is social media? . Just a collection of humans. . We are in control of what we share, what we like, who we follow, and our experience ... For insta vs. for reals ❤️
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Social media tends to favour the airbrushed / edited images.
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We blame social media for a lot these days don’t we...
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But what is social media?
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Just a collection of humans.
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We are in control of what we share, what we like, who we follow, and our experience overall.
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If social media makes you feel bad, change your feed. Change what you consume. Change what you like. Change who you follow. Change what you upload. Or take a break from it.
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#facetune #filters #unfiltered #realme #airbrushing #beforeandafter #veganism #vegan #selfesteem #therealme #bodypositivty #selfworth #glowup #perfection #imperfection #imperfect #beforeandafter #edited
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Good morning guys! . Just wanted to share with you a struggle last night with alcohol. . The journey ...
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Good morning guys! . Just wanted to share with you a struggle last night with alcohol. . The journey for me is getting easier and easier. . The more steps I take away, and the incredible benefits I see, the easier it is to stay sober. . It blows my mind that I can be living a life without alcohol ... Good morning guys!
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Just wanted to share with you a struggle last night with alcohol.
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The journey for me is getting easier and easier.
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The more steps I take away, and the incredible benefits I see, the easier it is to stay sober.
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It blows my mind that I can be living a life without alcohol in all honesty...
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Anyway, after an incredible day yesterday of swimming in the canals, running, writing and recording a song and hanging out with two incredible people I felt like I WANTED WINE.
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Just one glass.
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It wouldn’t hurt!
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I deserved it.
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I imagined the first sip. Heaven.
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Definitely doing it.
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But something in me was not sure.
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A quieter voice, behind the voice of my mind saying “go on just one, you deserve it” was there, softly asking me “are you sure?”.
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I wasn’t sure. Because I am so happy right now. I wonder why my thoughts are actively trying to take me off this path, and who is the thinker of the other thoughts “are you sure?”. It feels like there are two people living inside me. My ego and my true potential.
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We made the decision to get weed instead of wine. I had 3 puffs of a pure joint and spent the next two hours walking on a cloud.
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Alcohol craving was gone.
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I do not want to suggest to you to switch one drug for another. Combatting the reason why we need to escape the sober human condition is the only answer to make long term progress. BUT, last night, it helped me and I want to share my journey.
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I don’t know why I wanted to feel something.
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I just had a desire to change my state. I’m still working on all of this and growing and learning.
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Progress not perfection.
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Waking up with no hangover is rather amazing and I am very grateful to be on this journey. ❤️
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One year ago I watched a documentary called “What The Health” on Netflix. . Some hippie bloke made ...
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One year ago I watched a documentary called “What The Health” on Netflix. . Some hippie bloke made a claim that “if you go vegan for 2 weeks it will change your life”. . “LOL, yeah fucking right. Vegan cunts. Ugh. Fuck it I’ll do it just to prove these pricks wrong”. . That’s how I went vegan ... One year ago I watched a documentary called “What The Health” on Netflix.
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Some hippie bloke made a claim that “if you go vegan for 2 weeks it will change your life”.
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“LOL, yeah fucking right. Vegan cunts. Ugh. Fuck it I’ll do it just to prove these pricks wrong”.
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That’s how I went vegan 😂
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Because vegans annoyed me so much I just had to prove them wrong.
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And then fucked myself because they were right...
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Here’s some stuff that happens when you go vegan that people are too busy shouting “meat is murder” to tell you:

1. your skin clears up. Blackheads, acne, breakouts.
2. Heartburn and acid reflux disappear.
3. Stomach issues like IBS improve.
4. Bloating after every meal goes away.
5. Your shit LITERALLY STINKS LESS.
6. You have more energy.
7. Depression symptoms improve.
8. Joint pain and pain associated with ageing improves.
9. You feel lighter. In every way. Hard to explain but not just in body, also mind, and heart, and spiritually.
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Here’s some other things that may be interesting to know:
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1. Going vegan protects us against the NUMBER 1 killer in the Western world, heart disease.
2. Processed meat is a World Health Organisation classified Group 1 carcinogenic which means is 100% gives us cancer.
3. Type 2 diabetes can be reversed with a vegan
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Here’s some other things:
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1. Veganism is the most effective thing we can do to save the environment.
2. Veganism is the most effective thing we can do to stop deforestation
3. Veganism is the most effective thing we can do to save our oceans.
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And last but not least:
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1. animals are kinda cute so not killing them when we do not need to makes sense right? 😀👌🏼 it took me a long time to realise this one. But fuck me it hits home hard when you see a pig being gassed to death. I think this is the reason vegans are super annoying, because when you realise there is an animal holocaust going on you have no choice but to speak out.
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PS. I cheated with cheese 20 times in my first year! Progress not perfection. Give it a go today for whatever you care most about! Yourself / your health / our environment / the ocean / the animals.
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#vegan #oneyearvegan #meateater #meat #weightloss
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For insta vs. for reals <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ . Let’s stop calling scars, hairs, and wobbly bits “imperfections”. . Let’s ...
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For insta vs. for reals ️ . Let’s stop calling scars, hairs, and wobbly bits “imperfections”. . Let’s make an imperfection mean anything that isn’t truly human, which actually makes the digital version of ourselves that we edit with Facetune and Filters imperfect! . Remember advertisers ... For insta vs. for reals ❤️
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Let’s stop calling scars, hairs, and wobbly bits “imperfections”.
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Let’s make an imperfection mean anything that isn’t truly human, which actually makes the digital version of ourselves that we edit with Facetune and Filters imperfect!
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Remember advertisers and magazines want us to feel imperfect as we are naturally so we buy more of their shit 😂 let’s reclaim the word.
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From now on an imperfection is an edited photo. Imperfections can be beautiful and artistic too, but they will never replace true authentic human perfection ❤️
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#facetune #filters #unfiltered #realme #airbrushing #beforeandafter #veganism #vegan #selfesteem #therealme #bodypositivty #selfworth #glowup #perfection #imperfection #imperfect #perfectbody #bodypositive #advertising #magazines
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Beautiful day on the canals with the old man <span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️<span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️<span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️<span class="emoji emoji2764"></span>️ @ken.emery and @lunathechigi
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Beautiful day on the canals with the old man ️ @ken.emery and @lunathechigi Beautiful day on the canals with the old man ❤️❤️❤️❤️ @ken.emery and @lunathechigi