being in denial is one of the worst ways you can be stagnant. reflection takes second guessing, not self doubt, a hundred times over and really knowing why you did something. in fact? knowing what you did at all is a step in the right direction than the wool your ego pulls over your eyes. school should have had classes on how to healthily break yourself down.
people addicted to self gratification will have no capacity. these are the people who will wear love down with selfishness. self gratification is the reason why you'll be shut away in your room as the internet for your only company. the internet will offer anything to you because it doesn't care about you. as a matter of fact, it make's a living off of your illness. it will feed you strawberry shortcake breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of your life if thats what you wanted.
self gratification is the me, me, me type of narcissism that'll drive you to be alone with no morals and no work when you are 45 years old wondering what went wrong. then you'd be in your rocking chair at 80 with no memories to share to your grandkids. you will have nothing but memories then once your family leaves to tend to their own lives, but you won't have any to keep your company.
and denial that any of that is possible is the worst kind of gratification of all.
your parents will not be there forever to offer you a haven. and you won't have a proper, independent women to invigorate you. instead, they will tire of being your mom and you'll be miserable.
welcome to my ted talk.
thank you for listening.