I understand our beloved Tom Hanks has fallen victim to your wrath. A foul move Covid King. I now fear for our other American treasure, the great symmetrical Brad Pitt. I woke up in a cold sweat just thinking about his poor little deflated lungs. Brad is a product of the 90’s, when smoking cigs was hip. He can’t help himself. You stay AWAY from him you little spiked bastard! I ask you COVID-19 to spare him, and take another in his place. Like Elon Musk, James Wood, or Papa John. But not Brad. Or me. But also not Brad.
How the fuck is anyone this cool? Someday if I ever have a son, I hope he isn’t a total milk toast snore, and maybe, just maybe, has a little Slash-ness. I’m so over giant white tennis shoes and over sized hoodie fashion, and breathy singing. Ugh. Bring back big dicks in tight leather pants for GOSH sake. Please bring back rock stars. Thank you Slash, for being you.
There have been many reports by “truthers” depicting coronavirus as “round.” Oh yeah? If they are so round, how come we can’t see them?? Hmmm?? Based on my research (my mind), I have concluded the virus is in fact, FLAT. It is SO flat, it goes undetected, like when you’re playing hide go seek and you hide under a bed and make yourself really flat? Like that. #science #knowledge #brain #thetruthisoutthere
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